After the End
by Darkgenius3
Summary: Events taking place right after the end of Crooked Kingdom. Inej faces her parents, while the others face their own demons.
1. Inej The Talk

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.** **Inej**

She leaned against the rail overlooking fifth harbour, gazing at The Wraith. _Her ship._ She still could barely believe it. Even the talk she had had to have with her parents earlier couldn't dim the excitement and joy she felt at having a chance to strike back at the kind of people who had brought her to this city and forced her into slavery.

She closed her eyes and sighed as she thought about what had happened after the meeting.

After her mother had stopped sobbing and her father had finally let go of her, Inej had introduced Kaz to her parents. "Nice to finally meet you, Mr and Mrs Ghafa" Kaz had said, looking rather awkward.

"Glad to meet you too, Mr Brekker." Her father had said in slightly accented Kerch, looking askance at Kaz's dark suit and crows head cane. Her father had held out his hand, and Kaz had stared at it like it was some sort of venomous snake for a few moments before slowly reaching out with an ungloved hand. Inej could see the the internal battle taking place as he shook her fathers hand.

"How did you come to know our daughter?" Her mother asked.

"Ah..." Kaz looked back at her, a silent question in his eyes.

"And," her mother had continued, "How did you come here? We heard there was a slaver ship nearby, after your disappearance, and we feared..." She had trailed off and glanced around the harbour nervously, as if fearing that said slavers would pop up right there and then.

"It's... complicated, Mama." Inej had said. "Come on. There's more people I need you to meet!"

They had walked through the streets towards Wylan's mansion, her parents holding her hands, unwilling to let go for even a moment, like she was going to slip away if they didn't hold on tight enough. Kaz had been trailing behind them, an odd look on his face. It had taken a few moments for her to realize what it was, the emotion was so foreign on his face- longing. _How long has it been since he's seen his own parents?_ She wondered sadly. Then he had seen her looking back at him, and the emotion had vanished from his face, to be replaced by his customary scowl.

Footsteps behind her shook her out of her reverie. She turned to see Jesper walking towards her, a concerned look on his normally cheerful face.

" You alright, Wraith?"

She smiled slightly. "I'm fine, Jesper."

The sharpshooter rocked back on his heels. "Just thought I should check. I know how hard it is to talk to your parents about...everything."

Inej nodded, thinking about Colm Fahey, who'd left on a boat with Nina... and Matthias. It hurt to think of the huge Fjerdan lying in the bottom of that boat, robbed of all his massive life and strength.

"I'm alright, Jesper. Really." She smiled, despite memories of Matthias fresh on her mind.

Jesper looked at her doubtfully, but seemed to realize she meant it. "Alright, Wraith." He turned to go.

"Jesper?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

She turned back toward the harbour, deep in thought.

When they had reached the Van Eck mansion, her parents had gasped. "This is where you live?" Her father had exclaimed.

Inej had laughed softly, thinking of where she _had_ been living for the past three years. "No, papa. I'm just staying here for awhile. My friends live here."

Her father had looked doubtful but he had let himself be led inside. Almost as soon as they entered, Jesper was skidding towards them, Wylan on his heels.

"Inej-" Jesper started, but stopped short when he saw Mr and Mrs Ghafa peeking out from behind her. Wylan stopped too, almost bowling Jesper over. The lanky sharpshooter had reached out and steadied Wylan, all the while never taking his eyes off her parents.

"Inej, are these... are these your parents?"

Inej had beamed. "Yes. Mama, Papa, these are Jesper and Wylan, my other friends."

Both Jesper and Wylan had smiled, and had shaken both her parents hands.

"Wonderful to meet you both." Wylan had said, in that quiet, mild mannered way of his.

"Nice to meet you too, both of you. But Inej," her father had said, turning to her, "Can you please explain what happened?"

Inej had nodded, feeling butterflies erupt in her stomach.

"Follow me."

Thus followed one of the most uncomfortable, scariest conversations of her life, trumping even talking to Kaz after she had done something particularly stupid, and he was zeroing in on her face with those flat, emotionless shark eyes. She explained how she had been taken by slavers and sold into a brothel, feeling her heart hurt as her mother gave a frightened gasp, and her fathers face drained of colour. She explained how Kaz had freed her and brought her to the Dregs as a spider, to which both her mother and father looked at her like she was from a different species, and- her heart had felt like it would stop, and she had wanted nothing more than to run out of the room and go sit atop the Church of Barter and stay there- she explained what her jobs had been in the Dregs.

"I-I spied. I've stolen. I-I've done horrible things. She had paused and taken a deep breath before continuing, not that it helped. _Saints protect me._ "I've killed people."

She had looked down at her hands, and for a long moment there was absolute silence. She was taken by surprise when she felt her father bundle her into a hug, her mother close behind. She couldn't help the tears that began to flow.

"Shh. It's all right." Her mother murmured, stroking her hair.

Inej couldn't stop the tears flowing, but they were tears of relief.

Everything was going to be alright.


	2. Kaz The Breeze

**Writing from Kaz's POV is really difficult! Please review.**

 **Kaz**

As he watched Inej and her parents disappear into the study, he was struck by a memory of his mother and father sitting him down when he was...two? Three? To explain to him that taking things without asking was wrong. _If Da could see me now..._ He simultaneously laughed and shuddered. He wasn't ashamed of what he was, but he thought he would rather be back at the Ice Court, in the hands of the Fjerdans, than have to explain to his father what he had become. He turned and walked down the hall, intending to go back to the Slat. He still had business to attend to. But before he could reach the front door, Wylan nervously stepped in front of him.

"Kaz?" The boy asked hesitantly.

On any given day, Kaz would've usually just pushed right past anyone who dared to step in his path, possibly leaving a knife buried in their chest, but he felt dismembering one of the few people he privately considered friends trouble he didn't need, and he was curious as to what the boy had to say.

"What?" He growled.

"Jesper and I wanted to know if you'd-you'd..."

Kaz sighed and checked his watch, thinking of the piles of work still on his desk. "Spit it out, merchling."

"Would you like to come to dinner?"

Kaz blinked, surprised. "Why?"

"We haven't seen much of you lately, and I know for a fact that the food here is better than what you get at the Slat any night of the week, so we just thought it would be nice." Wylan watched him nervously, obviously unsure how he would react.

In truth, Kaz didn't have a clue how to react. People didn't usually invite Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel, over for social visits.

Later, he wasn't sure why he accepted. He had a ton of work to do, now that he had taken over most of Pekka Rollins abandoned property. All he thought of at the time was how lonely it would be at the office.

"Sure."

Wylan looked surprised, but said "How about six bells?" Kaz just nodded.

As soon as he was outside, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his gloves. He had taken them off earlier for Inej, but he felt too vulnerable without them around other people. _You're hopeless._ He thought to himself as he pulled them on. His leg ached as he walked down the street. His body still hadn't completely recovered from what he had put it through at the Ice Court and what came after. As it seemed to be doing more and more these days, his mind drifted back to Matthias. He and the burly Fjerdan had never been on the best of terms, which probably had something to do with Kaz constantly insulting his god and making jokes about talking trees, and then destroying the symbol of Matthias's religion, but he still missed having the Fjerdan around. He wondered if it would have made a difference if he'd told Helvar that out of all of them, he had had the highest chance of dying. The others would have been able to slip back into the shadows, but Helvar had had the entire Fjerdan empire against him. For the millionth time, he wondered who had shot him. It could have been anyone in this city of thousands...

He turned down an alley that offered a shortcut to the Slat. He was surprised as a stray cat startled and hissed as he approached and shot down the alleyway. He swore under his breath and kept walking.

Suddenly, he heard impossibly quick and light footsteps as a breeze blew down the alley. He stopped and hefted his cane, eyeing the opening of the alley. A small shadow appeared, and he tensed, but it was gone as quickly as it came. _What the hell was that?_ Summer was almost in Ketterdam, and they hadn't felt a breeze since the last early spring storm. And the shadow...

He shook his head and continued on, casting wary glances behind and in front of him. That sudden breeze had felt...strange. _Unnatural._

When he reached the Slat, Anika was waiting for him. "What is it now?" He said, limping past her towards the stairs.

"The Black Tips. They've finally clued in to the fact Rollins might not be coming back, and those idiots have realized you've gained a huge amount of territory without resistance. They're not exactly happy, and the realization is spreading."

Kaz sighed. He had been waiting for this reckoning ever simce the fake plague panic had calmed down and news had gotten out that Rollins had fled the city, and he had begun buying property and abysmally low prices. They would have to be dealt with.

"I'll worry about Geels and the others. You should worry about getting to the Crow Club in time for your next shift." He raised an eyebrow, and Anika scurried away.

He hiked up the stairs to his room, his leg aching with every step. He remembered how Inej could slide down the bannister like she was made of smoke, and then shook those thoughts from his head. He would never admit to anyone, but Saints, he would miss her. He snorted. He knew he had been spending too much time with Inej when he started cursing with the word Saints.

He reached his room, glanced at the piles of work on his desk, and checked his watch. Two bells. He had four hours to try and get work done before Wylans dinner party, or whatever the hell it was.

He sat down, thinking of the shadow, and the strange breeze that had preceded it. _Unnatural._


	3. Wylan The Awkward Dinner

**Wylan**

Wylan glanced around at the strange group that now occupied his dinner table. Jesper sat on his left, grinning like there was no place he'd rather be. His mother was seated on his right, a faint smile on her lips. Next to her sat Kaz, looking more uncomfortable than he'd ever seen him. His eyes were darting about like he expected someone to suddenly up and attack him, which, now that Wylan thought about it, had probably happened at some point. On Jesper's right sat Inej's parents, Inej sandwiched between them. Ever since they had emerged from the study, they had refused to let their daughter go. Wylan was happy that her parents seemed to accept what had happened. Inej deserved it.

"So, Mr Brekker." Inej's mother started cautiously. "Inej tells us you are responsible for her freedom?"

Kaz looked like a fish that had been suddenly scooped out of the water and thrown onto a dock. It was the first time he had ever seen Dirtyhands at a loss on what to say. he glanced toward Inej, seeming to ask her a silent question- _how much did you tell them?_

Inej looked slightly guilty. "Yes, Mama. Kaz...Kaz helped me."

"And then...you joined a gang? Why?"

Kaz glared at Inej with cold eyes. Wylan could tell he wanted to say something, but wouldn't with the Ghafas sitting right across the table from him. The tension was so thick it seemed you could cut it with a knife.

"It's a long story, Mama. I-"

"Food's ready!" The chef exclaimed, bustling into the room. She was a petite woman with mousy brown hair, and Wylan had never been happier to see her.

Later, his mother gone with the Ghafas to show them some of her art, Kaz leaned across the table toward Inej, his eyes narrowed.

"So." he sat there for a long moment, watching her. "You told them I helped you, but you didn't bother to tell them I'm the one who brought their daughter into a gang?" He said, his voice rising. He lowered his voice, continuing. "Didn't think it was relevant?"

"Kaz-" Inej started, but Kaz cut her off.

"You didn't think to tell them that the person they're sitting across from is the leader of a gang, floor boss of a casino, and a old blooded killer?"

"You think they'd be better off if they knew that?" Inej snapped.

"No, I think they'd be terrified. But they're better off knowing now than finding out later." Kaz and Inej stared at each other for a long few second until Inej looked away.

"I know." She hissed. "But they have more than enough to deal with right now without adding that to the pile."

Kaz glared at her for a few more moments before apparently deciding to let the matter rest.

"So, who's been to that new waffle place in the Lid?" jesper asked brightly. Both Inej and Kaz turned to glare at him. Jesper just beamed back. Wylan relaxed, letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

Kaz got up to go, and Inej went off to find her parents. Jesper leaned back in his chair, blowing out a breath. "That was... interesting."

Now it was Wylans turn to stare. "That's all you have to say?"

"I've seen worse between them. Much worse."

"When?"

"Mmmm...can't think of it right now. I know I have though. Although you have to hand it to Kaz. For him, the guy showed remarkable restraint."

Wylan sighed,wondering for the millionth time how he had come to be in a place where looking like they were considering killing each other was restaint. Oh, wait. He knew. His father. Jan Van Eck was still in Hellgate, awaiting trial. It seemed the merchant council was dragging its feet about sentencing one of their own. He pushed out of his chair, heading for the stairs. "I'm going to bed" he called over his shoulder.

"Kay. Goodnight, merchling."

Wylan headed to his room, pausing to say goodnight to Inej and her parents, who were staying there until they found lodging somewhere in the city. As he walked into his room, he felt a strange gust of air whirl through the room, knocking pages from his desk. As he rushed to pick them up, he saw out of the corner of his eye that the window was open. As he turned to close it, he thought he saw a shadow flit across. _What? This window is two stories up._ He stuck his head out, breathing in the cool night air, and saw nothing. _Must have been a bat._ He shut the window, making sure it was locked, changed out of his dinner clothes, and soon fell asleep, dreaming of ghosts.


	4. Nina Missing

**Nina**

She sat in the cabin of the boat, trying to ignore the faint smell of decay that prickled her nose. Genya had done her best to preserve Matthias's body, but even a Grisha with her gifts couldn't hold back time forever. So Nina sat at a small table, trying to ignore the smell, and thinking about the others.

She missed Jesper's jokes, Wylan's quiet courage, Inej's steadiness, and she missed- Saints, she even missed Kaz. She remembered how, after taking parem, she could detect the change in his breathing every time he had looked at Inej. As much as he tried to hide it, he cared for each of them more than they thought.

Rotty came down the steps, wincing at the faint smell. "We'll be near the coast of Fjerda soon." he said quietly.

Nina nodded, saying nothing. Rotty waited for a moment, and then went back up the steps. She felt bad, but had no idea what to say. She wondered how the others had decided to spend their share of the thirty million. Inej would probably pay off her debt to Kaz, and go back to Ravka. Or perhaps not. She had seen the way Inej had looked at Kaz, the way she had acted when Nina had talked to her about it. Jesper could play as many card games and eat as many waffles as he wanted. Wylan could move back into his mansion. She had no idea what Kaz would do, but she doubted it would be pleasant. For anyone.

She rubbed her eyes, wanting to sleep, but whenever she closed her eyes, memories of Matthias haunted her. She sighed, and rested her head on his chest. " I miss you." She murmured in Fjerdan. "Please come back."


	5. Marli Someone That I Used To Know

Marli

She leaped off the sill of the boys bedroom, landing lightly on the ground two stories below. She began to run, using her power to propel herself faster than any human alive. She stopped, hiding in the shadows of a neighbouring house, the wind she has stirred up billowing around her briefly.

She watched the redheaded boy stick his head out the window, glancing around, shut it, and turn the lamps out. She smiled to herself. She had trailed Kaz Brekker here, after spotting him in an alley near the Slat.

She wondered what Brekker had been doing at dinner in a mercher mansion. He didn't appear to be stealing anything. She took a running start, and landed on the next mansions roof. She ran, leaping from rooftop to rooftop, heading to the Barrel. she reached the rather rundown boardinghouse she was staying in, easily jumping to the sill of her window on the second floor. She sat in her chair, gazing at the wall, thinking of the orders Geels, leader of the Black Tips, had given her just yesterday. _Kill Brekker. I don't care what the hell you have to do, just end him._ Normally, this wouldn't be a problem for the mercenary. She had killed others. But she had _recognized_ Brekker. She had no clue how the quiet farm boy she had known had become the deadliest man in this Saints forsaken city, but she recognized the bitter coffee eyes, the pale skin and dark hair, even the way he held himself. He looked like his mother.

So now she wasn't sure. On one hand, Kaz had been her friend before his father had died and he and his brother had moved to Ketterdam. She remembered the two of them sitting in a field of long grass, the sun beating down. He had asked her she moved so fast, her feet barely touching the ground. _The air's my friend,_ she'd answered. She'd waved her hand, a warm breeze wafting over them. She remembered the way his eyes had widened with wonder. On the other hand, her friend seemed to have become a murdering, thieving, misery spreading piece of human debris. _Not unlike myself._ And there was the forty thousand kruge the gangs were pooling to get rid of Brekker, over some territory squabble that had something to do with Rollins fleeing the city.

She had decided to tail Kaz for a few days before she made a decision. To see for herself what he had become. So far, all she had seen was a house full of thieves, con men, and bruisers, and a dinner party. She thought of the Suli girl Kaz had met with at fifth harbour. She would pay her a visit next.


	6. Jesper Waffles

**I love writing from Jesper's POV! Please review!**

 **Jesper**

Jesper was sitting on the couch, cleaning his guns, when Inej appeared in the doorway. "Hey gorgeous. It's almost ten bells."

Inej smiled, stretching out next to him. "Nina would be proud."

So...about last night..." Inej stopped smiling.

"My parents have enough to worry about without adding the fact that I've been spending most of my time with a serial killer for the past two years."

"I'm not arguing," Jesper said hastily. "Just... Kaz was right. At some point, they're going to find out, whether you tell them or not. Kaz has a big reputation."

Inej leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. "I know. I just want to wait until they've settled down a little. They already hold on to me like I'm about to disappear."

Jesper nodded, saying nothing. Then he brightened as an idea struck him. "How about we take them out for waffles? There's that great new place, I heard they have all sorts of flavours of syrup, and you can pick what kinds of fruit you want on them- what?

Inej was laughing. "Waffles sounds great, Jes. How about tomorrow?"

"Alright. I'll ask Wylan. Do you think Kaz..."

"I'll ask him."

Jesper sighed, glad Inej had volunteered. Kaz was absolutely no fun to talk to when he was pissed. "I've got to go help Wylan run his empire. We'll talk later, okay?"

Inej nodded, giving Jesper a hug. He hugged her back, and left to go find Wylan. He found him in his office, surrounded by a mountain of papers. The merchling was holding one, his brow furrowed in concentration. As Jesper walked in, Wylan growled and slammed the paper down. "This is hopeless."

Jesper sat down, putting his boots on the desk, something he did purely to annoy the merchling. He picked up the paper. "Nope. This is a trade order. Sign here."

Wylan signed where Jesper indicated and then threw it onto the finished pile, tiny compared to the other piles. Jesper picked up the next paper. "Ooh, this one's new. Legal bills." Wylan made a face. "Sign here."

Slowly, they worked through most of the papers on the desk, Jesper reading out letters and trade orders and Wylan signing. At some point, Marya drifted in and sat down, watching them work. Ever since she had come home, she had slowly began to improve, beggining to laugh and smile again. Jesper couldn't believe Van Eck had locked his own wife away, just because she had given him a child who couldn't read. It still made his blood boil, even more so when he thought about Wylans reaction when he found out.

"We're going out for waffles tomorrow. Interested?" Jesper asked her quietly.

Marya watched for a few moments before slowly nodding. "Waffles...sounds nice."

Jesper turned to Wylan. "You coming?"

"Is it going to be a disaster like last night?"

"Merchling, it's waffles. Nobody would dare."

Wylan looked skeptical, but agreed.

Wylan got up, and was wrapped in a hug by his mother. "My beautiful boy." she sighed.

"Isn't he?" Jesper agreed. Wylan flushed. Saints, he was so cute when he was embarrassed. Marya reluctantly let him go, and he and Jesper went to find Inej. They found her where Jesper had left her, curled up on the couch, under a blanket. "That looks comfortable." Jesper remarked. He smirked, and glanced at Wylan, holding up three fingers. _On three._

Inej watched him from under her blanket, suspicion in her eyes. "Yes...why?"

"No reason." Jesper said innocently, putting down a finger.

"Then why are you smirking..."

Inej was cut off as both Wylan and Jesper pounced, burying themselves in the blanket. They rearranged themselves so no one was being squished, and Inej glared at them, her eyes smiling. They sat that way for a while, just enjoying each others company.


	7. Inej Encounters of the Rooftop Kind

******Inej**

Inej walked up the stairs of the Slat, heading to the attic, where Anika had told her Kaz would be. Anika had refused to let her pass until she had promised she wasn't bringing any bad new. "None of us want him any angrier than he already is." The blonde girl had said. "He's already pissed about the Black Tips." Inej had been confused. She hadn't gone on any serious intelligence gathering missions for a while, and as a result, was completely clueless to the going-ons in the Barrel. "The Black Tips are riled." Anika had explained. "They knew how much territory Kaz had claimed, but they figured when Rollins got back, there'd be hell to pay. Now they're realizing Rollins might not be back, and we have most of the Dime Lions old territory. Geels and his general are furious, and most of the other gangs agree with them. There could be a war." Inej had sighed. _You don't get to the top without making enemies._

She paused outside his door for a second, then knocked. "What?" he growled.

"It's me."

She heard the click of his cane against the floor, and he unlocked his door. He opened it, turning around and limping back to his desk. She watched wince and try to hide it. His leg must have been bothering him. she knew better than to ask him straight out if he was alright, so she just sat down across from him and asked "What are you planning to do about the Black Tips?"

He scowled. "I wish it was just the Black Tips. Those stupendous bunch of assholes have gotten the Razorgulls, Liddies, Harley's Pointers, and what's left of the Dime Lions involved, too. They're going to regret that." The expression, or lack of it, in his eyes made her blood run cold.

They fell silent, Inej watching Kaz. He seemed to be wrestling with something. "I'm sorry." he said finally, his voice rougher than usual.

Despite herself, Inej felt the corners of her mouth twitch up. "What?" she said incredulously.

He kept his eyes on the desk. "I'm sorry for dinner last night. I...shouldn't have dealt with it the way I did. It's your choice what you tell them."

She found herself smiling. "Damn right." She reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked up quickly, and she felt a shiver move through him. "Thank you." she said softly. "But you know what would really be nice?" He shook his head. "If you came to breakfast with us tomorrow." She saw him hesitate, and added, "There will be waffles." She told him the address. The corner of his mouth twitched up.

"I can do that."

She glanced at his gloved hands, silently asking permission. He slowly stripped off his armour, reached up, and took her hand off his shoulder. He didn't let go. Their fingers slowly intertwined, and she became aware of his heartbeat, pulsing like the wingbeats of a startled bird. She realized they had moved forward across the desk until the space between them was nearly nonexistent. If she leaned forward even slightly they'd be touching... Kaz suddenly pulled back, letting go of her hand. "Sorry" he muttered, not meeting her eyes. She nodded, trying not to let her disappointment show. She knew it was hard for him, but that didn't stop her from wishing it wasn't so.

She stood, and Kaz followed suite. "I should be getting back."

"I'll walk you out." he said, tugging on his gloves. They started down the stairs together. Inej could have simply hopped on the bannister and slid down, but she stayed with Kaz. The Slat was buzzing, and even though it was after seven bells, people were still rushing about, leaving for or just getting back from shifts at the Crow Club and from drumming up business at other gambling parlours. A few were organizing low risk jobs, nothing major now that tensions with the other gangs were so high. They walked outside, turning to face each other. Kaz seemed about to say something when a low breeze brushed past them. She didn't think much of it, but Kaz had gone completely still.

"What-"

"Shh. Don't glance around. Keep talking, quietly."

She was about to protest when she noticed the look on Kaz's face. So she began talking about whatever came to mind, keeping her voice level and her eyes on Kaz. His gaze settled on something behind her, and she began to turn around, hands creeping to her knives.

"Don't look." he said, keeping his tone neutral. "Turn around slowly, like nothing's wrong. There's someone in that alley, watching us."

She did as Kaz directed, taking a fleeting glance into the alley. A silhouette of a person, half hidden in a doorway. The shadow suddenly separated from the wall, darting down the alleyway, and Inej didn't hesitate. She bolted after the shadow, silently giving chase. Whoever it was was moving incredibly fast, feet seeming to barely touch the ground. The figure lifted a hand, and Inej felt a strong gust of wind curl around her, throwing her back. _A squaller._ The light from a window briefly illuminated the figure, revealing a small girl, Inej's size, with dark brown hair tightly braided down her back. The girl jumped, the wind helping her along, landing on the roof of a building three stories above. Inej stumbled to her feet, and started to shinny up the drainpipe. When she reached the top, the girl was nowhere to be seen. Puzzled, she walked to the center of the roof, gazing at the jumble of houses in front of her. Someone laughed quietly behind her. Inej whirled, blades already in her hands. The girl was behind her, leaning against a chimney. She was immediately reminded of her encounter with Dunyasha, the mercenary. This girl had the same way of holding herself, like she was completely unafraid. " You must be the Wraith."

Inej paused, uncertain. "And who might you be?"

The girl laughed again. She had startling blue eyes, like glacier ice. "No one important. Just trying to make a decision. I was told you worked with Kaz, but I had no idea what you looked like. I suppose the Zemini was Jesper Fahey, and the redhead was Van Eck's son, Wylan? And wasn't there another, a heartrender?"

Inej's grip on her knives tightened. "Who told you about us? Who are you? And how do you know Kaz?" she demanded.

The strange girl just continued watching her with icy eyes. "I've heard a lot about the so called Bastard of the Barrel." she mused. "I've been told you're close to him. How many of the stories are true?"

"Why do you care?"

"Lets just say both me and Ri- Brekker have a vested interest in the matter."

Inej chose her next words carefully, not sure what would happen if she said the wrong thing, or even what the wrong or right thing to say was. "Some are true, but some are just stories he's spread for his own gain."

The girl nodded, looking thoughtful. "I see." She paused, looking at Inej. She saw Inej tightening her grip on her knives and sighed. "I'm not going to hurt you, unless you give me a reason to." The girl muttered. She seemed to mean it. She hadn't even moved from her position against the chimney, although Inej knew that meant nothing. Someone with this girls power could kill her by simply raising a hand. "Will you do something for me?" Inej stared at her, confused. "Don't tell Kaz we had this conversation, or anything about me."

"Why?"

The girl gave her a long look. "I'm not ready for him to realize who I am yet. I still have a decision to make."

"What decision?"

"You'll see. One way or the other. Will you tell him?"

Inej slowly shook her head. "Good. Cause if you did, you and me would have issues, as much as I don't want that." With that, the girl turned and ran off the roof, a breeze billowing up, leaving Inej completely mystified.

"Inej!"

She walked to the edge of the roof to see Kaz, staring up at her. She climbed down, dropping to the ground next to him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, fine."

"Who the hell was that?"

"I have absolutely no idea."

They walked back to the Slat, Kaz trailing behind her, wincing with every step. She pretended not to notice.

"Did you see them?"

"Yes."

"Did you talk to them?"

"WELL?"

"She threatened to hurt me if I told you anything about her."

Kaz growled, glaring at nothing. "Her?"

"Yes. A girl. She didn't seem to want to hurt anyone, though."

Kaz snorted. "Looks can be deceiving. Just take you, for example. What else did she tell you?"

"Kaz, I'm tired. We'll talk about it in the morning, when we are all together, and decide what to do about it then. I need to go see my parents."

Kaz stared at her incredulously, then seemed to sense she wasn't saying anything else. "Fine. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." she answered, smiling at him. He grudgingly smiled back. As she walked down the dark streets toward Wylan's house, she thought about what the strange girl had said. _I still have a decision to make._ What decision? She thought about the strange pause before she had said Kaz's last name. Like she had had to think about it. What had she almost said? Ri what? And what was mysterious girls connection to Kaz?


	8. Kaz Breakfast and an Ambush

**Hi! Sorry for the late update, school has been killing me. I just love Kaz's POV, even though it's torture to write. Please review, it means a lot!**

 **Kaz**

He walked through the streets toward the Lid, thinking about last night. He had encountered this girl twice now, once last night, and once yesterday, walking to the Slat from the Van Eck mansion. He was frustrated with Inej for not telling him more. If anyone laid a finger on his Wraith... he ground his teeth. He couldn't protect her from what he couldn't sense. He had had no idea the girl was there, except for past experience with the breeze that preceded her arrival. _A squaller?_ He knew Inej could protect herself from almost anything, but Grisha were a different story. If this girl was a squaller, she could just simply remove the air from Inejs lungs, suffocating her. He reached the waffle place, leaning against the brick wall, eyeing the people walking past. Most ducked their heads and sped up. The shop was called Breakfast Heaven. Kaz lifted his bad leg off the ground, grimacing.

He spotted a couple strolling down the street, next to the canal. The mans arm was around the girls waist. He saw the girl glance up at the man, smiling with warmth in her eyes. The man looked down and smiled back, holding her to him. Kaz swallowed, and had to look away, feeling slightly sick.

The feeling instantly disappeared when he spotted Inej walking towards him through the crowds, beaming. Trailing a few feet behind her parents. She reached him. "You came." she said, smiling. Then she frowned. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." _Now that you're here._ He gave himself an internal shake. _Focus, you podge. Her parents are watching._ "Where are Wylan, Marya, and Jesper?"

"They're coming." She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it. "Thank you for doing this."

He thought he would do anything just to keep her smiling. _I don't deserve to have you here with me._ She wouldn't be here much longer. he remembered how purpose had shone through her. _I'm taking my share and leaving the Dregs._ She wanted to hunt slavers, the people who had taken her from her home when she was just fourteen. So he had bought her a ship. It was the only way he could make her happy, to give her what she deserved. _This is me trying, trying for you._ She stepped in front of him, studying his face. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, Wraith." The honest concern in her eyes frightened him.

Finally, Wylan and Jesper walked up, Marya trailing behind.

Jesper beamed at them all. "You all ready to experience heaven a bit earlier than planned?" Despite his mood, Kaz couldn't help chuckling at the look on the sharpshooters face, like he was a little kid about to be let loose in a candy store.

"Nina would be jealous." Inej said softly. The four of them went quiet for a moment, thinking of Nina and wondering where she was now. Then Jesper grabbed Inej and Wylans hands, pulling them along. "Let's go!"

They all filed inside, taking a seat at a table. Jesper was tapping his fingers, his eyes bright. They looked at the menus, astounded at all the choices. There was apple syrup, maple syrup, chocolate, caramel, and butterscotch sauces, peanut butter, and some sort of melted toffee, along with whipped cream. They had almost every type of topping imaginable, like pineapple slices, strawberries, blueberries, chocolate chips, kiwi, raspberries, and blackberries. After a few minutes of consideration, they filed up to the counter to place their orders. They grabbed their plates, heading back to their seats. Inej slipped in beside him. She glanced at his plate, smiling. "That is a lot of chocolate." He had gotten chocolate chips and chocolate sauce on his waffles.

"What did you get?"

"Apple syrup and kiwi."

Jesper had gotten caramel sauce and bits of apple. He was proceeding to shove it into his mouth as fast as humanly possible, like it would disappear if he wasn't quick enough. Wylan had gotten strawberries and whipped cream. Marya had gotten butterscotch and pineapple, and Inejs mother and father had both gotten maple syrup and raspberries. Jesper was right, this place was excellent.

Inej leaned over. "Why chocolate?" she asked softly.

Kaz took a deep breath. _Without armour,_ he reminded himself. He talked quietly, so no one else at the table could hear. "This was the way my father used to make them, for me and my brothers birthdays." Inej looked at him with sympathy in her eyes. She moved to put a hand on his arm, but stopped herself, just shy of making contact. Kaz took another breath, and moved his arm under her hand. She smiled, rubbing her thumb along the top of his hand. He shivered slightly, even with his gloves on. "Why apple syrup and kiwi?"

She paused, appearing to consider the question. "I've always loved kiwis, the few times we had them back in Ravka."

"And apple syrup?"

"It reminds me of when my father and I would sit on the edge of our caravan and eat apples freshly picked from the trees near our campsite."

He nodded, and they silently continued eating their waffles.

As they exited the restaurant, Kaz realized he felt-hell, he felt almost happy for the first time in about eight years. Jesper noticed his grin. "What's up, Kaz?"

"Nothing." he answered, still smiling.

Jesper nudged Wylan. "Look at this, merchling. I think Kaz is actually happy for once."

"Don't be ridiculous." kaz snapped. But he still couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"Oh," Marya exclaimed, pointing to a shop window. "Just look at those paints. Such bright colours." Wylan turned to his mother, smiling slightly. "Would you like to go shopping later, Mama?"

Before she could reply, Inejs mother brightened. "I have an idea. We can go looking for somewhere to stay, and Marya can come shopping. How does that sound?" Wylan and Inej shrugged, and all three of them walked off.

"Keep safe." Marya called over her shoulder. Wylan waved.

"Let's go. I know a shortcut." Jesper suggested. "Kaz, why don't you come home with us?" All three of them turned to him expectantly. he looked to each of their faces. They actually wanted him there? He nodded. They headed down an alley, which turned into another alley, which turned into another. His leg was starting to throb again. He was about to ask Jesper if he knew the meaning of the word shortcut, when he heard footsteps behind them. He whirled around, raising his cane. Suddenly, people were coming up behind and in front of them, leaving them completely surrounded. He turned to Jesper accusingly, relieved when he saw that he looked as shocked as the rest of them. Instinctively they bunched into a circle, Inej with her knives out, Jesper holding his pearl handled revolvers, Wylan looking scared but determined, fists raised. Kaz counted maybe twenty people in the alley, all armed with traditional Barrel weapons- axe handles, lead pipes, knives, and a few guns.

Someone pushed through the crowd, stopping in front of Kaz. It was Geels. "What business, Geels?" Kaz asked, sounding calmer than he felt.

"What business? You know what business, Brekker." The lieutenant spat. "You know perfectly well."

"I'm afraid I don't." Kaz responded cooly, even though he knew exactly what was happening. The territory dispute. He glanced at the crowd, recognizing members of the Black Tips, Razorgulls, Dime Lions, Liddies, and even a few of Harley's Pointers. Geels wasn't messing around.

"Oh, I'm sure you do."

"What do you want, Geels?" Kaz snapped, aware of Jespers edginess. He had hated Geels ever since that episode at the Exchange, before all this mess had happened.

"You mean what do _we_ want. I'll tell you. We want our territory back and you gone!"

"You mean my territory." Kaz said smoothly, silently reaching back and tapping Jespers arm.

Geels looked like he was about to explode. "You little..."

He was cut off as Jesper fired into the crown in front of them, clearing a path. Kaz ran, ignoring the pain in his leg, and heard the others close behind. They dashed through alleyways, hearing the crowd behind them beginning to give chase. They whipped through dozens of blind turns, Kaz leading, until the path opened up into a shadowed courtyard, surrounded by the high stone walls of neighbouring houses. It looked like even the Wraith would have some difficulty with these. They were trapped.

A cold wind suddenly lifted, sending rubbish from the alley into the courtyard. He felt Inej stiffen beside him. 'It's her." Inej murmured. jesper and Wylan looked mystified.

Kaz glanced around, seeing nothing. "You think?"

"Yes."

"What is she here for?"

"I'm not sure. She said before that she had a decision to make, and it concerned you. She seemed to know you, and she wanted to know how many of the stories about you are true." She shivered. "She reminded me of Dunyasha. Same cold blue eyes."

Understanding came in a terrible flash. A squaller, inhumanly fast. Knew Kaz. Cold blue eyes. He stepped out into the space, feeling numb. "What are you doing?" Inej hissed. "There's no way out that way. We're going to have to fight."

Kaz walked out farther, glancing around. "Inej, if you're going to pray, now would be the time." She just stared, uncomprehending. "Marli?" he called out, his voice breaking.

She dropped to the ground in front of him. "Hello, Kaz. Long time no see."


	9. Wylan Introductions

**Wylan**

"Marli?" Kaz called, his voice breaking. A slight girl with icy blue eyes and dark brown hair pulled into a braid dropped in front of him, nearly making Wylan scream. Where had she come from?

"Hello, Kaz. Long time no see."

And Wylan had thought he couldn't be any more confused.

The girl, presumably Marli, and Kaz began to circle one another, like animals getting ready to pounce. "What are you doing here?" Kaz asked sharply. Something was off with his voice.

"I could ask you the same question." Marli replied.

Kaz started to say something, and his flickered back to them. He stopped. "Why have you been following me?"

"I work for Geels. He and the other gangs are pooling funds to get rid of you."

"Son of a bitch. You're a mercenary now?" Kaz's voice began to rise. Wylan took a frightened glance at the alley. The sounds of their pursuers were getting louder. He wasn't quite sure who Geels was, but he had no doubt he didn't want to meet him again.

"Yeah. So? Just look at you, Kaz _Brekker_ "

An emotion flitted across Kaz's face that Wylan had never seen before. With a start, he realized it was panic. "Don't. Please."

"Don't worry. I didn't tell anyone anything." The girls eyes never left Kaz's face. "I still have a decision to make."

"What decision?" Inej growled.

"Whether or not she's going to kill me." Kaz said. "Well?"

"Give me a reason not to." The girl said, blue eyes flashing. "Thirty thousand kruge is a lot for just one kill."

Kaz took a deep breath. "We used to be friends. You remember?" Marli nodded hesitantly. Wylan turned to Jesper and Inej. They looked as startled and confused as him. "So you'd forget all about that, and kill me? Will you?" He stopped circling and stood, watching her. The sounds of their pursuers were getting closer.

Marli's eyes darted from the alley to Kaz, to Inej, to Jesper, to him, and finally back to Kaz. "No."

Kaz let out a huge breath, surveying the walls. "Then we could use your help." Marli nodded.

She strode over to them. "Hello again, Wraith." Both Jesper and Wylan turned and stared at Inej. She didn't look surprised. Before he realized what was happening, Marli had grabbed him by the collar. "Run when I say, and jump when I say."

"What?"

"You can trust her, Wylan." Kaz assured him. "She knows what she's doing. Probably." Wylan didn't feel exactly buoyed by that, but before he could protest, Marli was running, dragging him along.

"Jump." she grunted, right before they hit the stone wall. Wylan jumped, and gasped as the wind caught them, lifting them to the top of the wall. He balanced, watching as Marli did the same with Inej, Jesper, and finally Kaz. As soon as they were all atop it, the crowd rushed in, Geels at their head.

"Marli! What the hell do you think your doing?" Geels practically screamed. Marli shot him a gesture that would have been impossible without her middle finger and ran onto the roof. They all followed.

"We need somewhere to hide." Jesper gasped. "They're probably watching the Slat and Wylans house.

"I know a place." Kaz growled. "Follow me."

They hopped from rooftop to rooftop, Inej and Marli seeming to barely touch the shingles, Jesper and himself slipping and stumbling. Even Kaz looked like he was having a hard time. Wylan saw Kaz slip, almost falling, until Inej reached out and snagged his coat. Kaz shot her a grateful look, and kept running. "Down here." Kaz finally said. Marli dropped to the ground below, a breeze rippling up. The rest of them clambered down a drainpipe. Wylan suddenly realized something.

"That was you at my window."

Marli turned her head and grinned. "Yep."

Kaz led them to a door Wylan hadn't noticed. Kaz bent down in front of the lock, picks flashing. The door was open in seconds. "Come on." They walked through rooms with mould crawling up the walls and crates stacked everywhere, finally into one that seemed cleaner than the rest. A rat scurried away as they approached. They all stared at one another.

"What now?" Jesper asked quietly.

 **I hope that was a good solution to the cliffhanger! I'm happily surprised that we're getting into the double digits. Originally I had just a few chapters planned. Please review!**


	10. Nina Goodbye

Nina

She helped Rotty lower Matthias into the hole they had dug. The wind whipped every exposed inch of skin. She jumped down beside him, gripping his hand. _Swear to me you'll at least try to help them, try to make them see._ She would. She would try, for him. And she would start in Ketterdam. She knew Inej wanted to hunt slavers, and Nina could help. She was no longer a Heartrender, but she could still be of some use. It was, at least, a place to start. She had already told Rotty she was coming back. She stared at Matthias's face, burning it into her memory. "In the next life." she murmured in Fjerdan, kissing his forehead.

Nina clambered out of the grave, and they began filling it in. She winced at the sound of soil hitting what was below. When the grave was completely filled in, she began silently stacking rocks, forming a small hill. After a moment, Rotty crouched down and began to help her. "Thank you." She whispered, her voice hoarse. She had never gotten to know him very well, and felt incredibly grateful he was helping her to do this.

"No problem." He looked hesistant. "Why do Fjerdans always bury their dead?" He asked finally.

Nina was surprised at the question until she remembered Rotty was from Ketterdam, where all the people to poor for proper funerals were burned on Reapers Barge. "They believe that their god cannot reach them if they're not in the ground. It's why they burn Grisha." Rotty nodded. They continued making a cairn, stacking up rocks. Somewhere in the distance, wolves began to howl. _I will try. I promise._

 **Double digits! Thank you so much for supporting me on my first fic. Special thanks to everyone who's reviewed. It really means a lot! I'm sorry this chapter is so disjointed, I will fit Nina back into the storyline, I promise.**


	11. Marli Changes

**Marli**

Marli leaned against the wall, feeling the others stares upon her. "What now?" Fahey had asked. Everyone had looked as clueless as Marli felt.

"Why were we attacked?" Wylan asked, glancing at Kaz. It felt strange looking at him, her past memories clashing with the present. He looked roughly the same, other than the fact he was taller than her now. She had never seen the shark eyed gaze she saw now, though. It was unnerving. The rasp was new. It was almost like he gargled with rocks in his spare time, but with an almost smooth quality underneath. She hadn't a clue what had happened to his leg. Her friend was much changed, and not exactly for the better.

Kaz looked angrier, if that was even possible. "Territory dispute."

Wylan looked skeptical. "Seriously? That seemed a little much to be over territory."

Kaz looked at Wylan approvingly. "You're right, it's not completely over territory. Geels has been on the warpath since before the Ice Court job. As for the others-"

"Ice Court job?" Marli said, astounded. "You broke into the _Ice Court_?"

Fahey grinned at her, looking ridiculously pleased with himself. "Yep. All us. And a few friends." He frowned.

Kaz growled. "Yes, we broke into the Ice Court. Done interrupting?"

She shrugged. "Depends if you people pulled off anything else that's supposed to be impossible." She had to admit, she was impressed. The Wraith was a legend among mercenaries, and Dirtyhands seemed to regularly do the impossible, what with picking supposedly unpickable locks, but the others seemed rather...unimpressive. She supposed they had hidden talents, along with the other friends Fahey had mentioned.

Kaz sighed. "I'll make you a list. As I was saying, the other gangs have been waiting for a chance to bring the Dregs down since day one. geels just brought them together."

If anything, Jesper looked excited. "A group of some of the deadliest gangs in Ketterdam united in their hatred toward the Dregs? Sounds like a party."

The Wraith spoke up from her corner. "We should stay here awhile, make sure it's safe." Kaz nodded. He turned to Marli.

"Marli. Come here." He walked into the hall, cane tapping against the floor. She followed, the others looking on curiously. When she was outside, Kaz shut the door and led her down the hall a little ways. "Have you told anyone?"

She knew what he was talking about. His past. "No. I only realized the person I was hunting was you when I found you in that alley. You've created quite a background for yourself."

He nodded, looking nervous and angry. "You can't tell anybody anything. _Anything._ Or I swear to Ghezen, I will make you wish you hadn't been born."

She stepped back, surprised and a little scared. "Don't worry. I won't."

Kaz looked satisfied. "Good." He turned to go.

"Kaz?"

He turned and looked at her with those cold eyes. "Yes?"

"What happened to Jordie?"

He inhaled sharply, a kaleidoscope of emotions running across his features. Fear, anger, pain. All that and then gone, hidden under a mask. "Dead."

She felt tears begin to well up in her eyes. Despite his arrogance, and his insistence that he knew better than everyone else, Jordie had been like an older brother to her. She swiped the beginnings of tears away. She would grieve for Jordie, but not now. "When?"

"Years ago." He paused. "When did you become a mercenary?"

"Four years ago."

"Why?"

She stiffened. "I couldn't stay at home anymore. And there isn't a lot of options for people with gifts like mine." He nodded. He knew about her father, about what he had done to her.

Kaz turned and walked back into the room. She followed. _What have you become?_ She asked him silently. _What have I become?_

She sat down on a small crate. Jesper looked from Kaz to her. "So you two know each other?" He asked cautiously. The Wraith and Wylan looked on attentively. She glanced at Kaz, unsure of how much he wanted said.

"Yes, we know each other." Kaz rasped.

"How?" The Wraith asked.

"Not important, Inej."

 _Inej._ So that was her name. She remembered Geels briefing her Kaz's associates. _Out of that sorry outfit Brekker calls a gang, she's far and above the worst. We've lost a lot of good men to that girls knives._ Right now, Inej just looked angry.

"Yes it is, Kaz. I want to know who I'm dealing with."

Kaz and Inej had a silent stare off for a good five minutes before she decided to break the silence.

"We were friend when we were children. We...lost touch. It's been awhile."

Inej nodded. "Thank you." Kaz glared.

Jesper stared in mock amazement. "Kaz had a childhood? And friends? Just what crazy alternate universe do you come from?" Kaz turned and glared at Jesper instead.

Wylan sat forward, staring at her. She tolerated this for about a minute before snapping. "What?"

"In the courtyard, how did you get us over the wall?"

She shrugged. "Shouldn't it be obvious? I'm a squaller."

"Yes, but I've met squallers before, and I've never heard of Grisha using their power the way you did."

She shrugged again. "I don't know. That's just the way I learned to use it." It was true. She hadn't had any training, hadn't even really noticed she was any different than the other kids until she began running in races and saw how slow everyone else was. It didn't take much concentration, the air just seemed to push her along. the other children had been terrified. Kaz had been amazed. He had been fascinated by the way she could bend air to her will, even making the air humid or dry just by raising a hand. It was part of the reason they had become friends. That, and the fact they had both enjoyed playing practical jokes on everyone. He had also bribed and blackmailed other kids into not telling anyone about her. He had been a schemer, even at six years old.

Jesper sat forward. "What did your parents think?"

She shivered, thinking of her father. He was a Fjerdan, and had come to Kerch to escape the fighting between Fjerda and Ravka. He had still kept Fjerdan beliefs, though. Including opinions on Grisha. Her mother had attempted once or twice to stop him when he started in on her, but after a while, she had just began leaving the house when her father got angry, eventually leaving altogether. That had only made it worse. She had the scars to prove it.

"They weren't exactly supporting." Jesper looked oddly sympathetic, as if he understood. "Why do you care?"

Jesper turned slightly red. "No reason. To repeat my earlier question, what now?"

Kaz sat back on his crate, elevating his bad leg slightly. "We wait. Geels and his allies will most likely be watching the Slat, Crow Club, and the Van Eck mansion, and will probably be searching for us, so it's too risky to venture out until dark."

"How is this going to go? I doubt they're just going to give up." Jesper asked.

"Like I said, this is more than territory now. They won't stop till the Dregs are wiped off the map." Kaz replied. "This is going to be big."

Marli remembered the last gang war she had seen, a few months after she had arrived in Ketterdam. The Dime Lions had gone to war with a lesser known gang. It had ended in Pekka Rollins hauling the rival gangs generals body onto a rooftop and demanding that everyone joined the Dime Lions or die. The streets of the Barrel had been literally painted with blood and corpses, and that was just two gangs.

"What are we going to do?" Wylan asked.

"Not sure yet." Kaz answered, looking frustrated. They all lapsed into silence.


	12. Jesper Cheating is Impossible with Kaz

**Jesper**

He sat on his crate, rubbing his thumbs along the handles of his revolvers. He glanced at Wylan, a little surprised at how well the merchling was handling this latest disaster. Jesper wondered when crazy had started becoming normal for the boy. Probably the second Jesper had walked into that tannery.

Marli was sitting on a crate next to him, looking perfectly calm. Jesper couldn't help but notice the similarities between her and Inej. They both held themselves perfectly straight, and both girls walked as if the world was nothing but mist and they were just passing through. Same impossibly light tread. Jesper found himself drawn to Marli. She had looked as if her parents had been a lot less than unsupporting when she talked about them. She had started unconsciously rubbing her right wrist, where Jesper could see faint scars peeking out of her tunic. He wanted to ask, but this girl had already made it clear she could kill him in the time it would take Jesper to stand up and draw his guns. No need to antagonize her. He sighed just because they had similar problems didn't mean they could be friends. This girl was a mercenary who had been sent to kill Kaz. It didn't pay to be sentimental.

He thought of the deal he and Wylan had made. Wylan was letting him play in the markets, so long as he found a Fabrikator to train with. Jesper hadn't been sure that was what he wanted, and he still wasn't.

Eventually he got tired of the silence. "What is this place?"

"Old storage building. Hasn't been used in years." Kaz replied.

"So you set up a hideout in it?"

"Why not?"

Inej stepped out of the corner she had been lurking in. Honestly, if Jesper hadn't seen her walk over and stand there, he wouldn't have known she was in the room. "It's almost dark. I'm going to go scout it out, see if I can get into the Slat." Kaz nodded.

Marli stood. "Can I come?"

Inej nodded, looking surprised. The two girls left, both as quiet as shadows.

Jesper was bored out of his mind. A few minutes later, he asked "Anyone want to play cards?"

"You have cards?" Wylan asked.

Jesper pulled his deck out of his pocket. "Yep."

Wylan rolled his eyes. To Jespers surprise, Kaz sat forward. "I'll play."

They pulled a small crate between them, and decided to use pebbles as chips. Jesper dealt. Kaz picked up his cards, a small smile on his lips. Jesper got a sinking feeling in his stomach. The sinking feeling turned out to be appropriate. Three hands later, Jesper had lost all his pebbles, and the smile had morphed into a grin. "Having troubles?"

"Shut up."

Kaz passed back his pebbles. "Want to play again?"

Jesper nodded, even though Kaz was pretty much unbeatable. Thank the Saints they weren't playing with kruge. Six minutes later, jesper had lost all of his pebbles again. They kept playing, Jesper losing spectacularly again and again, and Kaz smiling, his eyes shining. Kaz had been in an unusually good mood today, Jesper reflected, handing over the last of his pebbles once again. He remebered Kaz smiling as they had left the waffle shop. As he shuffled the deck, he decided to try something.

"Will you stop grinning?" Jesper eventually asked.

"Only if you take that ace out of your sleeve" Kaz answered, still smiling. _Damn it._ Jesper slid the offending card out of his sleeve and shuffled it back into the deck.

"Can we trust her?" he asked, not wanting to spoil Kaz's good mood, but someone had to ask.

Kaz's smile disappeared. He appeared to consider the question. "Yes. We can trust her."

"You're sure? She was hired to kill you, and was apparently considering it."

Kaz's lips quirked. "Who wouldn't?"

"True. But you're sure?"

Kaz met his eyes, and Jesper got the feeling that for once, Kaz was being completely honest. "Yes. I'm sure."

Jesper sighed, and handed over more of his pebbles. "How are you so good at this?" Wylan asked. Jesper started, he hadn't the merchling was paying attention.

Kaz shrugged. "I don't know."

"Someone must have taught you how to be this good."

"No. Natural talent."

"That must have made you a fortune."

Kaz laughed. "Not so much. I was banned from every gambling hall on the Staves before I turned eleven."

Jesper snorted, thinking of a ten year old Kaz playing cards with Barrel bosses, and winning. That would have gone over _so_ well. "How do you win?" he asked curiously.

"I can remember every card that has been played for up to two decks. I can remember other things too, numbers, words on a page, things I've heard or seen.

"That's quite a gift."

"No, just one hell of a good memory. It's how I run the Crow Club and the Dregs other businesses.

Jesper nodded thoughtfully, thinking about what it would be like to remember just about everything he'd ever seen. A memory like that could be more curse than gift. There were plenty of things he wanted to forget.

He handed over the last of his pebbles, and was about to try hiding another ace when Inej rushed in, Marli behind her. And with them, was Nina.

 **638 views! Thank you so much! I love this chapter, Jesper and Kaz are my favourite platonic relationship. I'm also fascinated by Kaz's seemingly photographic memory. Please review!**


	13. Inej You Can't Ask Him Questions Either

Inej

Inej climbed up the drainpipe, her feet finding tiny ridges in the brick of the building. A breeze ruffled her as Marli jumped past, landing on the roof. She sat on the edge, peering down at her. Inej startled as a nasty crack came from the nails holding the pipe to the wall. She barely had time to relax her muscles so she wouldn't break when she hit the ground before it snapped. It wouldn't have been such a bad fall, she was barely a quarter of the way up, but it wouldn't have tickled, either. She was about to hit the ground when the air caught her, holding her in place. She looked up to see Marli, hands raised, one fist clenched. She raised her closed fist, and Inej felt the air around her obeying, lifting her up and onto the roof. She stumbled slightly as it dropped her next to Marli. "Thank you." she said wonderingly.

Marli turned away, walking across the roof. "Don't mention it."

Inej followed her, easily balancing on the shingles. "How do you know Kaz?"

Marli didn't look surprised at the question. "I've already told you, we were friends as children."

"Yes, but there's more to it."

This time, Marli looked surprised. "You're perceptive."

"So I've been told."

"I'm not sure how much he wants said. He's already made it clear what's going to happen if I say too much."

Inej sighed. From what she had seen of this girl so far, Kaz didn't have to worry. Contrary to her prior beliefs, Marli seemed trustworthy, even if she was a hired killer. It wasn't like Inej had done any better with her life. "What can you tell me?"

Marli seemed to consider her words carefully. "I can tell you that Kaz was my best friend, and that he was never this...interesting. We...stopped talking about eight years ago."

"How old are you?"

"I'll be seventeen in a month. How do you know him? Geels said he payed off your contract with the Menagerie."

Inej shivered slightly, even though the air was warm. "Yes, if you can call it a contract. He freed me, and I worked for the Dregs until about a month ago." Marli nodded, and they continued on in silence. They hopped from rooftop to rooftop until they reached the house next to the Slat. It felt good to be running with someone who could actually keep up. They hunkered down behind a chimney, watching the seemingly endless tide of people flow past below.

Marli nudged her shoulder, and pointed. "Those two are Razorgulls, and they haven't moved from that spot." Inej looked toward where Marli pointed and recognized two of the Razorgulls soldiers, Zoe and Quin. Marli was right, they hadn't moved from their position against the walls of the apartment building across from the Slat.

Inej stood slowly, backing up. "I know a better way in." The two girls snuck around to the second floor windows. Inej pulled her picks out of her sleeve, hoping she could get the lock open without too much trouble. She didn't have Kaz's skill with breaking and entering.

After a few minutes of struggling, Marli reached over and plucked the picks from her fingers with an amused expression. "Let me." Marli knelt in front of the window, and a few second later the lock clicked. She handed back the picks. "You first."

Inej crawled into the room, soundlessly dropping to the floor. It looked like she was in Anika's room. Marli crawled in after, closing and locking the window behind her. Inej strode to the door, opened it, and stepped out into the hallway. There were a few people outside, but no one looked twice. Inej walked toward the stairs, glancing back once to make sure Marli was following. She hopped onto the bannister, sliding down, preferring it to the stairs. She heard Marli doing the same behind her. As she reached the bottom, she saw Anika in a conversation with none other than Nina Zenik.

"Nina!" she cried, racing towards her friend. Nina met her in the middle, beaming, enveloping Inej in rib crushing hug.

"Inej!"

After a minute, Inej pulled back, examining her. "What are you doing here? We weren't expecting you back this soon."

"I promised Matthias I would try to change things, and I realized that the best way to do that was to start here." Nina paused, looking nervous. "I know you want to hunt slavers, and I know I'm not a Heartrender anymore, but i would love to be a part of your crew."

Inej was speechless. Nina hastily said "It's okay if you don't-"

"Yes."

"What?"

"I would love to have you on my crew, Heartrender or not." Nina beamed, and Inej pulled the larger girl into another hug.

"Um...Inej?" Marli asked quietly. She had completely forgotten the girl was there. She stepped back, still smiling. It was good to see Nina again.

"Nina Zenik, meet Marli..." She paused and glanced at Marli.

"Orson." Marli supplied.

"Orson. She's a mercenary who was hired by the gangs to kill Kaz."

" _What_?"

"I'll explain. Anika!"

The blonde girl hurried over. "What business, Wraith?"

Inej hurriedly explained the situation to both girls, Nina's eyes getting wider and wider, Anika's brow furrowing more and more. "Not good. What can we do?"

"Nothing, yet. Just lay low. Nina, are you coming?"

Nina huffed. "Of course. Can't miss a chance to see everyone else." She turned to Rotty, who had been standing near the stairs. "Thank you for everything."

Rotty blushed. "Don't mention it." He muttered.

Inej turned and walked up the stairs, Marli and Nina following. They made their way back out the window, and set out across the rooftops. Nina stopped and stared as Marli jumped the gap between two roofs, clearing it by several feet. "How did you do that?"

Marli sighed. "I'm a Squaller."

Nina looked shaken. "I've never seen a Squaller fly unless their on parem."

"It's not flying, more like controlled falling. And what is parem?"

"Never mind. You are _very_ powerful.

Marli looked confused. "Thanks, I guess. Earlier, you said you weren't a Heartrender anymore. What does that mean?"

"I used to be a Heartrender. Now I'm not."

"You don't stop being Grisha."

" _Never mind._ "

Marli looked even more confused, but thankfully let the matter rest. Inej remembered how Nina had lost her powers in the battle with parem, and had gained power over the dead. Her train of thought ended when she reached the wall across from the hideout. "How do we get down?"

Marli stepped forward. "May I?"

Inej and Nina nodded, Nina looking curious. Marli gripped the backs of their coats. "Jump." There were a few startling seconds of free fall, before Inej felt the wind push upwards against their fall, slowing them. They hit the ground like jumping from a low wall onto a carpeted floor. Nina gasped. Inej turned and gazed up at where they had jumped from, three stories above. Nina turned and looked at Marli with wonder in her green eyes.

They walked to the door, keeping an eye out for anyone who might be strolling by the alley, gang member or citizen. Inejled them down the halls, Nina eventually picking up speed. They rushed into the room, seeing Jesper and Kaz sitting with a crate between them, playing cards, Wylan next to Jesper. All three leaped up when they entered. Inej was startled to see Kaz grin as he saw Nina. "Zenik."

Nina looked as surprised by the smile as she was, but she returned the grin. "Brekker." Jesper ran over and engulfed Nina in a hug, Wylan following.

Inej walked over to stand by Kaz. "You seem happy to see her."

Kaz watched as Jesper and Wylan piled on Nina. His voice was soft. "I...missed her." He admitted. Inej smiled. Kaz spent a lot of time denying he had feelings, but even Dirtyhands needed friends. "It was a lot quieter without her, though." Inej smacked his arm gently. He caught her hand, holding it in his gloved one. Inej looked up to see Nina watching them with an expression caught somewhere between amusement and happiness. She hastily let go of his hand, not wanting anybody to know, and not exactly sure why. Kaz looked at her, surprised. Usually he was the one who had to break contact. Nina cast them one more knowing look, before turning back to Wylan and Jesper, who were chattering to her excitedly, while Marli sat in a corner looking completely confused.

"Are you okay?" He asked her quietly. She looked up and saw genuine concern in his eyes, an emotion she was seeing there more and more.

"I'm fine." She replied, smiling. He nodded, looking unsure of himself.

"Can I talk to you? Somewhere else?"

She felt her heart speed up slightly. "Sure."

He led her out of the room, down the hall, and into another room, this one with desks spread haphazardly throughout it. She perched on the end of one, waiting expectantly. He hoisted himself up on another desk across from her. "About Marli." he paused.

"What about her?"

"You said you wanted to know who you were dealing with."

she watched him patiently. "She is...was my best friend. We've been friends since I was six. Her father..." His face hardened. "Her father was an asshole. She spent a lot of night with me and my... my brother. His voice cracked slightly. "You can trust her. I do." Inej nodded. She had already come to that conclusion. No way would Kaz have let her go alone with her if he didn't trust her.

She waited till she thought he was as ready as he could be, and then asked what she had been wondering about for months. "Kaz, what was your brothers name?"

Fear and pain passed over his face, his armour down. He closed his eyes and bowed his head, clenching the desk so hard the wood creaked. She wanted to reach out, to help him, but she knew better. Her touch would do nothing but make it worse. "Jordie." he whispered. He took a shaky breath, the wood under hid fingers threatening to snap. "His name was Jordie."

"I'm here. You're not alone." She reminded him gently, fervently wishing there was any other way for her to help. She hated seeing him broken. Several long minutes later, Kaz's hold on the desk finally began to ease, and he began to relax. "How old were you?" _When he died?_ He took a few deep breaths, relaxing more with each.

"Nine."

 _So young._ "What happened?" She asked quietly. He tensed up slightly, his breaths getting shakier. "Please, Kaz." He shook his head wordlessly. She slowly stood up and moved closer, giving him time and space to pull away. He shivered, but stayed where he was. She stopped, him sitting in front of her. She remembered when he had stood before her like this. He eventually looked up and met her eyes, his breathing evening out.

"I'm sorry." he whispered. He looked away, sad and ashamed.

"It's okay. Just give it time." She soothed. She was satisfied as long as he tried. She needed to know that Kaz cared enough to try for her. Kaz nodded, leaning forward and putting his face in his hands. Inej cautiously reached out and placed a light hand on his shoulder. He flinched, but didn't move away. She felt him shaking slightly under her hand. After a minute the shaking began to ease. "We should go back."

Kaz nodded, removing his head from his hands. he stood up and straightened his tie, taking a deep breath. Putting his armour back on. They walked out of the room, back to the others. _Thank you. Thank you_ for _trying._

 **I hope you guys like the Kanej. Feel free to critique my work, it really helps. :)**


	14. Kaz Someone Important is Shot

**Kaz**

Kaz walked out of the room, feeling both release and regret at being away from Inej. She deserved better than him. She deserved someone who didn't start hyperventilating when they were asked a simple question, someone who could make her happy. In others words, Kaz's opposite. It was the first time he had said his brothers name since he had died, and the waters had rose, sending him back to Reapers Barge. He couldn't stop shaking. He hated feeling like this, but was powerless to to stop it.

He strode into the room, Inej following, like his shadow. Nina was still talking to Wylan and Jesper. Marli was sitting in a corner curled up on a crate, her scars peeking out from beneath the sleeve of her tunic. Kaz remembered finding Marli curled up in his bed, having jumped through the window, blood leaking from the cuts going all the way to her elbow. Her father had thrown something made of glass, maybe a bottle, and she had raised her arm to protect her face. Kaz had gotten his father, and they had spent the night in the kitchen picking shards of glass out of Marli's arm. He still remembered the look of abject misery on her face. There had been other times too, times where she had been burned, cut, or bruised, and had had nowhere else to go. She did have a brother, but he was almost as insane as her father. Her mother had left when she was seven.

He shook off the memories, concentrating on figuring a way out of this mess. Five gangs allied against them, all wanting the Dregs destroyed, starting with him. He had a good idea of how this was going to play out. They would kill him, Inej, Jesper, possibly Wylan, and most likely Nina, Marli, and Anika, and then demand the other Dregs either surrender or die. He had seen this before. He just had no idea how to stop it. it seemed Geels was the leader of the group. He knew Geels had weaknesses, starting with Elise, his girl. "Scheming face?" Nina asked him. He looked up to see everyone watching him. "This early in a crisis? Crap."

"I know what Geels's weaknesses are, but even if we convince him to stop coming after us, all of the other gangs will continue."

"So what do we do?"

"I don't know." Kaz snapped, frustrated.

"What? Say that again, nice and loud."

He glared her. "I don't know what to do. This is an impossible situation, made even more difficult by the fact that this particular snake has more than one head. I-" he stopped, hearing faint footsteps, getting louder. there was more than one person. They all tensed, Jesper drawing his guns, Inej holding her knives, Marli with hands raised, a light breeze coiling around the room. Wylan had his fists raised, and Kaz hefted his cane, its weight familiar.

The door opened a crack, and something was tossed in. It rolled, and the thought _bomb_ had barely passed his mind when it exploded. Kaz found himself on the floor, seeing spots, ears ringing. He dimly registered people walking in. Geels knelt down beside him. _Inej and Marli must have been seen._ He couldn't hear what he was saying, but his expression was gloating. He took out a piece of paper from his coat and scribbled something on it before dropping it next to Kaz. He saw people leaving the room, watching them drag Jesper with them before it occurred to him to do something.

he stumbled to his feet, feeling light headed, ears still ringing. He rushed as fast as he could out into the hallway. _Not Jesper. Not this again._ He saw one of the group turn, surprised. The shot was muffled. He found himself on the floor again, listening to Geels yelling dimly. The sound eventually faded away. His vision was going dark. The last thing he saw was Inej crouching unsteadily next to him, eyes wide and panicked. He tried to talk, nothing coming out. Then there was nothing but darkness.

 **Sorry for this, guys. Please review.**


	15. Wylan Warning Note

**Wylan**

Wylan couldn't breath. He could feel his heartbeat, pounding like a galloping horse. _They took Jesper. They shot Kaz, and took Jesper._ He watched Inej and Nina struggling to get Kaz's shirt off. It was soaked with blood. After the flash bomb had gone off, everything had dissolved into chaos. Wylan remembered them dragging Jesper away, Kaz following. The shot echoing.

He stepped back to give Nina room, and something crackled under his boot. He reached down and picked up a piece of paper. There was something written on it. Wylan wanted to scream his helplessness, instead, he handed it to Marli, who was watching Inej and Nina with a numb expression. She tore her eyes from Kaz, and read the letter, her eyes moving across the page. Her expression slowly changed into one of rage. "What does it say?" Wylan begged. Marli stared at him, confused. "Just read it out loud. Please."

Marli dropped her gaze and read it. "Surrender with the money you stole or Fahey will play cards with the Saints. Then the Dregs. You have one week." Wylan began shaking uncontrollably.

Nina turned to him, a wild look in her eyes. "Give me your shirt."

Wylan didn't dare argue, just stripped it off and handed it to her. She tore it in half, holding one half to Kaz's wound and handing the other half to Inej, supposedly for bandages. Wylan looked at the bullet hole in Kaz's stomach, just below his ribs. Blood was leaking out of it.

"Damn it Brekker!" Nina yelled. "You are not allowed to die!" Inej continued tearing strips of his shirt into bandages. Wylan noticed her eyes were filled with unshed tears.

Wylan realized with a shock that he was on the verge of crying, too. For all of Kaz's many faults, he had still believed in Wylan, given him a chance to prove his worth. He didn't want Kaz to die. Besides, they needed him to sort this incredibly confusing disaster out, to get Jesper back.

Nina's voice was strained. "He's not breathing."

Marli elbowed him out of the way, kneeling beside Kaz. She raised a hand, and Wylan saw Kaz's chest resume rising and falling. "Keep putting pressure on that. I can keep his lungs working, but I'm no healer."

"Saints, his heart just stopped." Nina's voice was approaching a whimper. She began trying to restart it. After a minute, Marli stepped in.

"Move back." Marli barked. They all stepped away.

Marli concentrated, a blue haze forming between her hands. "What is she doing?" Wylan asked.

"Summoning lightning." Inej answered, not taking her eyes off Kaz. "Zoya did it to restart Kuwei's heart after we shot him." Nina's eyes were wide with disbelief.

"How is she doing that so easily?" She gasped.

Marli slapped her palms to Kaz's chest. His back arched, and then fell. Nina rushed forward and checked his pulse. "Good." She resumed applying pressure to the bullet hole. Wylan sighed, sinking to the ground. Why was he here? He should be home with his mother, not crouching on an abandoned storehouses floor, waiting to see whether the Bastard of the Barrel would live or die.

Nina began wrapping the makeshift bandages around Kaz. "The bullet went straight through, so that's good. He won't get lead poisoning." Wylan showed the note Geels had left to Nina and Inej. Inej covered her mouth, holding back a sob. Nina looked angrier than Wylan had ever seen her.

Nina turned to an unconscious Kaz, still wrapping his wound. "You get us all flashbombed, get Jesper kidnapped, and then get yourself shot." she hissed. "If this doesn't kill you, I will." She finished tying the bandages around him. "That's all I can do. Whether he lives or dies is up to the Saints."

"Crap." Marli muttered.

"Crap indeed."


	16. Nina We Need You

**Nina**

Nina hugged Inej, feeling the smaller girl shaking. "He can't die. He can't." Inej whispered. Nina hugged her harder, knowing that yes, Kaz very well could. Wylan and Marli were talking in low voices on the other side of the room. Nina gave her one lat squeeze, and sent her off to Wylan.

Nina knelt over Kaz, keeping one hand on his pulse. She realized she was staring. His chest was a collection of muscles, hard edges, and faint scars across his ribs from some long ago fight. Her gaze travelled to his arm. He had the crow and cup tattoo, the symbol of the Dregs, the one Nina had on her own arm, and another one on his bicep, a black R. Nina wondered what it meant. She sat back, taking Kaz's hand, and slowly pulled his glove off, hesitating before finding the pulse on hid wrist. She held his hand, marvelling at the long, pianist fingers. She had heard the stories about his hands, everyone had. Brekker's hands were demon hands, Brekker's hands were permanently stained with blood, Brekker's touch was poison. She couldn't see whatever it was that he was trying to hide. She watched Kaz breathing for awhile. Inej was right, he couldn't die. They needed him and his creepy genius to fix this.

She remembered when she had sat over Inej like this, unsure if she was going to live or die. She ground her teeth, frustrated. Back then, she had had her power. She felt like screaming. If he died, she was going to go to Hell after him, just to yell at him one more time.

Inej shivered, Wylan rubbing her back. At least she wasn't going insane like Kaz had when she was hurt. Nina couldn't have stopped the small Suli girl from going after their attackers if she tried.

She put a hand on Kaz's chest, monitoring his breathing. Nina wondered why he avoided contact like the plague, wore the gloves all day every day. It was lucky he was unconscious, he's be trying to kill her. She checked the bandages. The wound was dark and was now slowly oozing blood. She tightened the bandages slightly. Nina looked at Marli. She was sitting, staring at the wall with an oddly blank expression. _Trying to block it out,_ Nina realized. She wished she could do the same. The girl had just saved Kaz's life. If he lived, Nina would have to make sure Kaz thanked her. She wondered at how easily the Squaller had summoned lightning, like it wasn't hard for her. She remembered how Zoya, one of the most powerful Grisha in the world, had struggled with what Marli seemed to do easily. She had never heard of Squallers using their power to run faster or jump higher, either. This girls power was almost equal to a Squallers power on parem. She didn't seem to be able to fly though, which was a slight relief. She thought of Jesper, and the note Geels had left. _Surrender with the money you stole, o Fahey will play cards with the Saints. Then the Dregs. One week._ She hadn't a clue as to what it all meant, but the one person who could answer that question was on the floor of an abandoned warehouse, possibly dying. Saints knew what Geels was doing to Jesper now. _Come on, Kaz. We need you, difficult personality and all._


	17. Marli Remembering The Storm

**Marli**

She helped Nina drag Kaz over to a corner of the room. Nina had said his breathing and heart should be alright, the initial shock to his system was over, but she still monitored his breathing, one hand raised. It was peaceful to just sit with her eyes closed, sensing the air rushing in, and then being let back out. In, out. In, out. She could sense the others breathing too, Inejs breaths coming in short gulps, then being let out quickly. Nina's and Wylan's were quick, but even. After awhile, Inejs breaths started to slow. She loved her power, how it connected her to every living thing. She loved how she could sense how the air flowed and interacted with everything around her. She could walk around blindfolded and with her ears plugged and still know where everything was.

She remembered restarting Kaz's heart. That was the second time she had summoned lightning. The first time, she had been six and Kaz had been seven. They had been sitting in the hayloft of his barn, watching a storm on the horizon. Lightning had flashed, turning the dark sky light. Thunder had come a moment after, rolling across the fields. He had turned to her suddenly. "Marli."

"Yes?"

"Do you think you could do that?"

She had looked away from the storm to his face, his bitter coffee eyes bright with curiosity. "Do what?"

"Summon lightning."

"Why would I be able to do that?"

"Squallers control storms, right?"

Marli had considered it. "I'm not sure. I've never really thought about it."

"Try it." He had urged.

She had put her palms close together, thinking about the storm, the sharp tang of ozone, the way lightning had flashed, arcing across the sky. Completely on instinct, she had bent her fingers, feeling the hairs stand up on her arms. A blue haze had begun to form between her hands. In that moment, Marli had felt pure, unadulterated power sweep through her, barely contained. The storm did not like a master. She held it for another second before letting it go. Kaz had looked awed. "Your hair is standing straight up." He had informed her. She had brushed it down, and they had run inside to find Jordie and see if he wanted to play a game. She had never tried to summon lightning again, but she had always remembered the power that had seemed to run through her bones. She had never forgotten the storm.

She had called the storm again when Kaz's heart had stopped. It had been easier to contain this time, but she still felt the terrifying power behind it, death just one mistake away. Terrifying, and exhilarating.

She opened her eyes and watched the others. Inej was pale and shaky, and was being comforted by Wylan. Inejs relationship with Kaz evidently went deeper than business. Wylan and Nina looked scared and angry. She wondered what was happening to Jesper now. Wondered, and worried. She had only known the sharpshooter for a few hours, but she had liked him. She glanced at Kaz, and quickly looked away. _Djel, please._ She didn't believe in her fathers god, but every so often she'd catch herself praying. A habit she'd picked up from her brother.

Her brother Edmund had been almost as fanatical as her father. He had prayed to Djel, and had run and told her father, lip curling in disgust, when he'd found her using her powers. He'd refused to believe she was his sister. She hated him, hated them both. Some days she hated her mother for leaving her alone.

Marli laid down on her side, back against the wall. She was tired after using her power so much. She fell asleep quickly, and dreamed of her mother.

 **Sorry for what's coming, guys. The plot has kind of gotten away from me. Please review, it means a lot!**


	18. Jesper Old Enemy

**Jesper**

Jesper woke up, chained to a chair. That alone was enough to ruin his day, but as his senses came back to him, he realized they had taken his gun belt and the knife he had hidden up his sleeve. He looked around, seeing only grey walls, the plaster peeling off. There was a door in one corner.

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. What had happened? They had been flash bombed, he knew that much. They had dragged him away. There had been a gunshot. Had someone been shot? Jesper vaguely remembered Geels berating someone for being so twitchy with their trigger finger, right before he had been injected with something that had knocked him out cold. Now, here.

The door swung open, Geels striding inside. "Fahey."

"What business, Geels?" Jesper said innocently.

"Don't toy with me." Geels growled.

"Oh don't worry, I won't. I don't think your brain could take the stress."

"Shut your mouth, or I will shut it for you. The only reason you're waking up at all is because I need you as a hostage."

"Kaz will destroy you."

"Kaz won't be doing anything after that shot he took to the chest trying to follow us. That should put him out of business for a while. And from what I've heard of your other friends, they're much gentler."

Kaz? Shot? Because of him? Jesper took a shaky breath. "What do you want me for?"

Geels smiled. "Get the boss." He called over his shoulder.

"Wait. You're not the boss?" Jesper was confused.

Geels just smiled wider. It was the smile of a hunter that has just sighted its prey. The door swung open again, creaking on rusty hinges, and in walked Pekka Rollins.

Jesper groaned. "Not again. You didn't get your ass kicked hard enough last time?" _This is bad. This is way worse than we though it was._

Rollins ignored him. "Leave." He instructed Geels. When the door had shut behind him, Rollins leaned forward. "Mr. Fahey."

"Mr. Rollins." Jesper said, pretending to doff an imaginary hat, his chains clinking together. "A pleasure. What business?"

"Enough of the games, boy. What I want is information. Where could Brekker and his gang of thugs hide?"

Jesper was incredibly confused. "Why didn't you just take them when you took me?"

Rollins growled. "I don't just want them. I want the money you people stole from the auction. And my territory back."

"Why not just bring them here and torture the the bank account numbers from them? You seem capable."

"Because I can kill two birds with one stone this way. I get the Dregs wiped out of existence, and I get rich. problems solved."

"How are you going to do that?"

"Street law dictates that I have to give the Dregs a week to surrender before the fighting starts. I get the Dregs to surrender, giving me the money, or I kill you and all of them, then taking the money and my territory the hard way. I have five gangs at my disposal. So that's why I'm going to torture you until you tell me where they could be hiding."

"Where who's hiding?"

"Brekkers entire gang!" Rollins yelled.

"The Dregs are gone?"

Rollins was really seething now. "Somehow, they all managed to sneak away in the middle of the night. The Slat and the Crow Club are completely empty. So I'm going to ask you again. Where could they all hide?"

Jesper closed his eyes. He immediately thought of Hellgate. Out of the city, and plenty of room. The old tower had been clear since they'd sprung Matthias. He wouldn't tell him anything. "Let me get this straight. You want the Dregs destroyed, and the money. So you're going to make Kaz give you the money and surrender, or you'll kill me, and then them all, then taking the money. But, you can't find them, so now you're going to torture me until I tell you where they might be hiding? Wow, Rollins, you really screwed up on this one."

Rollins looked at him steadily, pulling a knife from his belt. "Not just yet, I haven't."

"What are you going to do if the Dregs surrender, with the money?"

"Most of the Dregs will join the Dime Lions. Some, like the Wraith, and Anika, are too dangerous to keep around. And then, I'm going to take a while to learn Brekkers weaknesses. Personally." The look in Rollins eyes made Jesper shiver internally.

"What did Kaz do to you?'

Rollins laughed. "Other than taking my territory and humiliating me? How much has he told you? Not a lot, I'd bet. Nothing about how he's hated me since he was a child, about how I caused his brothers death, and he's been in my way since?"

"What?" Kaz had a brother? Was that why Kaz had gone after Rollins any chance he got with such anger?

"Thought so. Although, it's not so much about what he did to me, it's what he threatened to do to my son. So." He rubbed his thumb over the blade in his hand. "Let's get down to business, shall we?"

 **See what I meant about plot thickening? Hope you like it! Please review.**


	19. Inej Hiding

**Inej**

She vaulted over a space between two buildings, Anika, Pim, Roeder, and a few other members of the Dregs close behind. After Jesper had been taken and Kaz shot, they had realized this was way bigger and way more serious then they had originally thought. They had snuck to the Slat, Marli lifting Kaz with her powers, and gathered the Dregs. They were going into hiding.

Inej was leading her group to fifth harbour, where they had a boat ready to sail. Anika, herself, Nina, and Wylan had decided to go to Hellgate. The old tower had been clear since the prison break where they had freed Matthias. They slipped down the last roof, and began sprinting through the crates piled in fifth harbour that had been unloaded that afternoon. It had been difficult to get that many people out of the Slat and Crow Club without spies noticing, but she thought they had managed well enough. They had kept lights burning in windows to create the illusion they were all still there, and then climbed into neighboring buildings through the windows, then scattered. Geels had probably assumed there was no way they could make it to the Slat, and mobilize that many people silently.

They reached the boat, Inej breathing a sigh of relief, and they all climbed aboard, going down into the hold. There were already people sitting against walls and on benches and beds. She peeked into one room. Kaz was lying on the floor next to a wall, Wylan sitting next to him. Her heart lurched. If Kaz died, what would she do? Kaz was the boy who had saved her, who had helped her believe, in his own way, that things could be alright again. Whatever was between them, she didn't want it to end. Besides, she wouldn't be doing much of anything if Geels found them once the week was up.

She sat down on a bed next to Anika. She touched her shoulder. "Are you all right?"

Anika looked at her, her eyes bright with moisture. "The leader of our gang could be dying, and we are all abandoning our home to go hide in a prison to escape five murderous gangs all allied against us. What do you think?"

There was no response to that. Anika's face softened slightly. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right."

Inej sat back, sending a prayer to her Saints. _Please let him live. I know he isn't the best of men, but please, don't let him die. I need him. Please._


	20. Kaz Im Okay Are You?

**Kaz**

Kaz felt like he was back in the grip firepox, unsure of what was real or dream. He remembered moving, being carried by air. He heard Anika's voice. "Why are we moving?"

Nina's calm voice floated back to him. "A precaution. We're not sure what's going on yet, just that everyone in the Dregs is in danger. So everyone should hide."

Anika's voice. "Where?"

He heard Inej. "Hellgate. Underneath the cages, in the old tower. It's been clear since a few months ago." _Good._ He thought, before slipping away again.

The next time he woke, he was on a boat. Wylan was sitting over him, looking miserable. He saw Kaz's eyes open, and his eyes widened. "Kaz?" He turned his head, seeing members of the Dregs all sitting on the floor, all looking worried. "We're going to Hellgate." Wylan said quietly. "Can you talk?" Light out.

He was lying on a blanket, somewhere dark and damp. Someone had their hand on his arm. He looked up, seeing Inej. There were dark shadows under her eyes, and her eyes were red, like she had been crying. "Inej?" he asked, his throat scratchy. Inej looked at him, surprised, and burst into tears. He tried to sit up, and a bolt of pain passed through his midsection.

"Don't try to sit up." She said between sobs. "You're okay. You're okay."

He reached out, touching her face. He cupped her cheek in his hand. "Are you?"

"Nooo." She said. She curled up beside him, still crying. "I am not okay. I thought you were going to die." She was taking deep, shuddering breaths. She pressed against his side, and Kaz fought the water that threatened to overwhelm him.

"I'm okay, Wraith." He forced himself to put his arm around her. "You're okay." She stayed next to him for several more minutes, slowly stopping crying. He stroked her hair. With a start he realized someone had removed his gloves. The thought of someone touching him in his sleep made him feel sick, but he forced it back down. "How did we get here?"

"We're in Hellgate. We moved because after Jesper was taken and you were shot, it became clear this was bigger than we thought. We moved all the Dregs with us, as well."

"Good."

She raised her head to look at him. "Kaz, do you have any idea what is going on? Geels left a note. It said, surrender with the money you stole or Fahey will play cards with the Saints. Then you and the Dregs. You have one week. Surrender? Money we stole?"

An awful picture was beginning to take shape in Kaz's head, but he didn't want to voice his suspicions until he was sure. "No." But he thought he did. He knew a good plan when he saw it, and this was top notch. Geels could get rid of the Dregs, taking over their territory, and get rich all at the same time. The problem was, he could no longer deliver on his threat of killing them all if they didn't surrender, because they had disappeared. Which had probably left Geels with one option: torture Jesper until he tells him where they could be. Unless it wasn't Geels. The Black Tips had had no idea they had cheated at Kuwei's auction. Only one gang did. One man. If Kaz was right, they were in serious trouble. But Kaz didn't want to think about that right now. Inej snuggled deeper into his side, and then seemed to realize what she was doing. She started to pull away. "It's okay." He murmured. He didn't want to be alone.

"You're sure?"

"Yes." He said, his eyes drifting closed. She curled back up next to him. He fell asleep with his arm around her.

He dreamed he was back home, in a field of long yellow grass. He was sitting cross legged, nine years old again. In front of him sat Jordie, staring at him. "Can't you just leave me alone? Please." Jordie didn't answer. Then he was swimming in the Ketterdam harbour, feeling Jordie's flesh coming loose in his hands. He kept swimming, but he never got closer to shore.

He woke up gasping, fists clenched. Inej was shaking his shoulder. "Kaz, wake up. You were having a nightmare." He tried to sit up again, and pain shredded his stomach. "Kaz?" He shivered, somehow managing not to throw up. "Kaz, look at me. It's going to be all right." He looked up at her. Her dark eyes were sad. She took her hand off his shoulder. "Just breathe. You're okay." She let go completely, scooting away from him. He regained his breath, and slowly stopped shuddering, the water receding. He turned his head and looked at her a few minutes later. Her knees were pulled up, and her head was tucked. _I can't do this I can't I can't._

He reached out and took her hand. He felt her jump slightly. She looked down at him questioningly. He met her gaze, fighting the urge to pull away. _I'm trying._ He gasped as a jolt of pain came from his bullet wound. "I should get Nina." She said worriedly.

"No."

"Kaz-"

" _Please._ No." He couldn't bear Nina touching him right now. Inej seemed to understand. They sat that way for a while, fingers intertwined. "How long have I been unconscious?" He asked finally.

"Two days." Five days to find Jesper before Geels, or someone else, killed him. Five days before the time street law dictated they had a chance to surrender was over. He had worked with less time, he knew, but right now, the obstacle seemed insurmountable. Find Jesper, save him, shut down the people or person behind this,who had five gangs to fight for them. Kaz barely had one.

"Any idea where my gloves are? And my shirt?" This wasn't important in the light of what was going down, but he felt he would go insane if he had to deal with people without his gloves. Inej shook her head. He sighed. _Deal with it, you idiot. You can do this._ "Can you get the others?" Inej smiled at him.

She let go of his hand, standing up. "I'll be right back."

 **Please review, it means so much to me.**


	21. Wylan So Very Very Screwed

**Wylan**

Inej came rushing into the room. She stopped in front of Wylan, who picked himself up from the floor. "What is it?" He said, with trepidation.

Inej smiled, and Wylan relaxed. Kaz was alright. "He's awake. He wants to see you. And you." She said, looking at Marli and Nina. They walked through the rooms. Inej grabbed Anika's arm as they passed, pulling her with them.

"What is it?" The blonde girl asked anxiously.

"He's awake."

She beamed, then frowned. "He...wants to see me?''

"You're his lieutenant, and you have a vested interest in how this is going to end. You have as much right to hear an explanation as us." Anika nodded.

They walked in. Kaz was sitting against the wall. He looked up when they entered. Wylan felt a smile curling his lips. He looked over at the others. Marli was grinning, Inej was smiling, and Nina was absolutely steaming.

"You idiot!" Nina screeched. Kaz looked surprised. "Jesper's gone, we're all facing the threat of death, and you almost died! Asshole!" Wylan was surprised to see Kaz watching Nina rant with something close to fondness. "What are we going to do now, you stupid piece of crap?"

"Kaz." Wylan cut in, while Nina was drawing breath to yell again. "What _are_ we going to do? What's happening? What is Geels planning?" Kaz focused on him.

"It's not Geels." His voice was raspier than normal.

"What do you mean?" Marli asked. "Geels was the one who hired me."

"Geels is a pawn. He had nothing to do with the auction."

"Auction?" But Wylan understood. The money they stole. The auction.

"We stole money. A lot of it. From an auction." Kaz explained rather impatiently. "The person who is behind all this knows about the auction, knows all about what happened." Kaz's features had hardened, and Wylan saw that familiar flat, cold rage surge in his eyes.

"Who?" Anika asked.

"This person also wants revenge." Kaz prompted grimly. "We had thought he was gone, but apparently he snuck back into the city. And we've been taking territory from him for the last month." Wylan was drawing a blank, but Inej looked like someone had smacked her in the face.

"No." She breathed.

Kaz sighed. "That's what it looks like."

"Who?" Wylan said, exasperated.

"Pekka Rollins." Kaz growled. Wylan's heart sank like a stone. They were dead. All of them were dead walking.

Marli, Anika, and Nina looked the same. "Are you telling me one of the most powerful men in Ketterdam has five gangs at his disposal, and you've been stealing his territory Are you insane?" Marli demanded.

"We thought he was gone. And it's not just the territory he's mad about." Kaz said, looking slightly guilty. "There's the money he wants, and he just wants the competition thinned." Wylan couldn't breathe. Jesper was dead, too. All of them were so very very screwed.

"What are we going to do?" Anika asked quietly.

Kaz's gaze hardened, this time with determination. "We're going to rescue Jesper, get the gangs off our backs, and destroy Rollins."

Anika laughed without humour. "Is that all?"

Kaz met her gaze. "Just about."


	22. Nina A Deadly Dance

**Nina**

This was insanity. Nina looked at the people around her, Anika, Inej, Marli, Wylan, and Kaz. For the past hour they had been sitting ina circle, sharing ideas on how they could rescue Jesper. They had all agreed they would need Jesper with them to deal with the other gangs and Rollins. "What if we posed as one of the gang members? Harley's Pointers would be fairly easy to infiltrate, they never keep track of details like who's on what shift or what job." Inej suggested.

Kaz shook his head. "They would be easy to infiltrate, but I doubt anyone but the higher members of Harley's Pointers would be in the know. It would be next to useless."

Anika sighed. "I was supposed to go dancing tomorrow." She muttered. "Not a regular dance, either. Fancy."

Kaz sat up straighter, and Nina saw him wince slightly. _He should be resting._ Nina thought. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"There's a dance being held at a hotel ballroom in the Zelvar District tomorrow night. Some Barrel boss set it up, invited all the gangs and hired some of the pleasure houses. Pim was going to take me." She sighed again.

Kaz was looking at nothing, a thoughtful expression on his face. Nina could almost see the gears turning. "Scheming face." Inej whispered.

Kaz ignored her, suddenly turning to Anika. "You said all the gangs were invited?"

Anika looked confused. "Yes?"

"What are the chances the Dime Lions and Black Tips will be there?"

Anika grinned. "Pretty good."

They talked for hours, memorizing the parts they would play. Nina would enter, along with Marli, and the pose as one of the gang members of Razorgulls, Liddies, or Harley's Pointers. She would wear a wig, and makeup, so no one would recognize her. Once she had the location, she would meet with Kaz and Inej, who would be at the dance. They would all leave at separate times, as to not attract attention. Wylan and Anika would be there too, Anika with a few knives hidden somewhere on her person, Wylan with a few smoke bombs around in case something went wrong. If possible, they would attempt to spring Jesper that night, while the gangs soldiers were at the dance.

"How are we supposed to get the location?" Marli asked, voicing Nina's thoughts.

"Find someone drunk enough to make ill-considered decisions, and high up enough in the Dime Lions or Black Tips, that they know where Jesper is. Convince them that you know, too. Find a way to get the location without actually asking for it. We don't need Geels or Rollins tipped off. Nina, could you Tailor yourself and Marli?"

She considered it. Her tailoring skills had never been great, and she had gotten worse since parem. "I can try. No guarantees." Kaz nodded, looking satisfied. "What about you and the others?"

"We'll be fine. All we're doing is dancing for a few songs, then hopefully leaving. People will be to focused on whatever people do at parties to really notice us. Besides, Wylan and I can wear hats, and Anika and Inej can wear makeup and wigs."

"This might actually work." Wylan said.

"Of course it will, merchling. It's my plan."

 **The Crows are going dancing! Please review.**


	23. Marli What's Wrong?

**Herobrinegal- I know, I was looking to fit it in. Guess we're both messed up. :)**

 **Marli**

As the group had talked, Marli had kept her eyes on Kaz, occasionally asking questions or sharing ideas. Kaz was acting strange. He had never had a problem with physical contact before, but now he seemed oddly scared. The others didn't seem to notice. She watched as Anika unconsciously shifted closer, and he flinched away, keeping a healthy distance between him and his neighbours. She wondered what was wrong. She hadn't seen him take off those black gloves until now, and it hadn't been by choice. She had heard rumours about his hands long before she had realized Kaz Brekker, criminal prodigy, was actually Kaz Rietveld, her former best friend. No doubt that was what the black R stood for on his bicep. That realization had occurred as she watched him in an alley, preparing to kill him.

When she had first come to Ketterdam, she had attempted to find Kaz and Jordie, and had found nothing. Now she realized one of them had been there all along, hiding in plain sight. As the other left to prepare for tomorrow, she stayed behind, watching Kaz.

"What's wrong with you?"

Like when she had asked him about Jordie, emotions flickered quickly across his face, a chink in his armour. Fear, pain. Guilt. That was a new one. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Anyone who hadn't just seen his face would have completely believed it. "Okay." She reached out and put two fingers on his wrist. She was expecting a reaction, but not what happened next. He jerked away from her, letting out a yelp of pain from his bullet wound. He pressed against the wall, getting as far away from her as he could. His eyes were wide, and the emotions she had seen fleetingly earlier were now out in full force. Fear, pain, guilt. He was shivering.

Marli's eyes widened. _What just happened?_ "Kaz?"

He just stared at her, his breath coming quick and panicked. Like a trapped animal.

"Kaz, what..." She stopped talking and stared, speechless. "Are you okay?" She asked him finally, even though he clearly was not.

He squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. "Fine." He whispered. His face reddened slightly. _He's ashamed._ She realized. Of what? What the hell was wrong with him?

"No you're not. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

Marli raised her eyebrows. "Sure. You're fine, and I'm the queen of Fjerda. I'm not blind, Kaz. I've seen you avoiding touching people. That's why you wear the gloves, isn't it?"

He avoided her gaze, and Marli knew she was right. "What's wrong?" She asked again. "What are you ashamed of?" He put his head in his hands.

"I can't do this. I can't." Came his muffled reply. It sounded like he was talking to himself more than her. Instinctively, she reached out to touch his shoulder, and immediately drew back before he noticed. "I just really really can't." He shuddered. Marli considered this before pulling her bag to her. She pulled out a pair of climbing gloves that she used when the weather got chilly. She tapped his knee quickly. He looked up slightly, and she offered him the gloves.

He hesitantly reached out and took them. She saw him relax slightly as he pulled them on. "Thanks." He muttered. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I can't...I don't...I don't even know where to start..." He trailed off, looking miserable. She nodded. She understood feeling like you couldn't tell anyone, like putting what had happened into words was impossible. "It's all right." She told him. "When you're ready." She stood up, and he relaxed a little.

"Could you stay?" He asked her quietly, unwilling or unable to meet her gaze.

"Why?"

"Just listening to someone talk...helps."

She sat down again, and just talked about whatever crossed her mind, things like the eggs she had had at the Kooperom, a better way she had found to sharpen her knives, random little bits of her life. He slowly relaxed, and stopped shaking. Reluctantly, she stood up again. "Inej and I have to go back to Ketterdam to get supplies for the dance. We'll be back soon." He nodded.

"While you're out, would you mind finding me a shirt and some gloves?"

She nodded, walking towards the door. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

She turned back to him. "Swear to Ghezen, I won't."

She wondered what exactly had happened to Kaz, what had done that to him. If she ever found the person responsible, she swore, she would pull the air from their lungs and watch them suffocate slowly.


	24. Jesper Please Come

**Jesper**

Every inch of his body ached. He was pretty sure his arm was broken, it had made a nasty cracking sound when Rollins had whacked it with a lead pipe, and he was fairly certain some ribs were broken, too. The only thing that had gotten him through it was Wylan. Memories of the merchlings blush whenever Jesper flirted with him, their first kiss, his look of concentration when he was working demo. His floppy red gold curls, sky blue eyes. The earnest, straightforward way he spoke. Everything.

Jesper stared at the ceiling, his head hurting. His arm was radiating pain. In a few hours, Rollins would be back to try again, like he had been for the last two days. Or he thought it was two days. He only left this chair when two guards escorted him to a washroom. Kaz would come. _Please come._ The ceiling was a very interesting shade of greyish green. Or was it greenish grey? He was still pondering this when Rollins opened the door and strode inside, carrying a blunt looking knife. "Ready to tell me where they are?"

Without looking at him, Jesper asked "Greyish green or greenish grey?"

Rollins stopped momentarily stunned by the question. "What?"

"The ceiling."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rollins look up at the ceiling, puzzled. This gave him the time he needed to prepare himself, to think of Wylan, only of Wylan. Rollins shook his head. "Ready to tell me?"

Jesper took a deep breath. _Wylan. Nothing but Wylan._ "When hell freezes over."

Rollins narrowed his eyes. "Have it your way."

Even memories of Wylan couldn't numb the pain of what came after.


	25. Inej Safe with a Serial Killer

**Inej**

Inej walked through the doors into the ballroom, her heels clacking. The fact that she could not be silent unnerved her. Kaz was at her side, wearing a suit and a hat that obscured his face. He was carrying a normal wooden cane. She noted the way he was keeping his hands almost up his sleeves, and tensing slightly whenever someone got too close. He had been worse lately. She glanced around at the people who had come. She recognized many members of the gangs, most with suits or dresses, all with at least one item of traditional Barrel flash.

She looked over to where Nina and Marli were entering, Marli now a blonde with green eyes, Nina with black hair and brown eyes. Their faces were tailored, enough that it would be hard to recognize them if you didn't know what to look for. Both wear wearing bright dresses.

Inej fidgeted in her own light blue dress. She wasn't used to having her movement restricted like this. The orchestra was playing. She turned to Kaz. "Shall we dance?"

He looked at her nervously, his voice cracking slightly. "Inej..."

She reached out and took his hand. He tensed, and then relaxed. He pulled her hand up, looking at it. "I picked them up when we went for the other things. I though it would make things easier." She said quietly. She was wearing evening gloves that matched the blue of her dress. He looked up at her and smiled, relief in his eyes.

She clasped his hand, putting her other hand on his shoulder, and he put his hand on her waist. They began to dance, slowly, out of respect for Kaz's leg and bullet wound. Over his shoulder, Inej could see Wylan and Anika in position, Anika wearing heavy makeup, and Wylan's bright curls hidden underneath a hat. They were dancing, too, Anika looking like she was having fun, Wylan looking incredibly uncomfortable. Inej almost laughed when she saw the blush that heated the merchlings cheeks.

They danced for a few more songs, Kaz's hand a slight weight on her hip. A slow song came on, and they moved closer, both her hands now on his shoulders, both of his on her waist. She thought of the Menagerie, and immediately tried to throw those thought out. This was Kaz. Kaz was more scared then she was. The memories wouldn't go away, though. She realized suddenly that she was crying. "Inej?" He whispered. She leaned forward and put her head on his chest, letting go of his shoulders. She felt him tense up, and he let go of her waist. "Inej. What is it?"

She tried to explain the hollow feeling in her chest, the feeling like nothing she did was ever going to make what had happened go away, like she could never have a relationship without it haunting her. "I can't..." She felt what had happened when she was at the Menagerie happening now, her mind leaving her body behind. She was abruptly brought back when Kaz put his arms around her, shaking slightly. She realized she was in the middle of a ballroom, crying with her head on someones chest. She hoped she hadn't blown their cover. "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay." His voice was rougher than normal.

"I was thinking of the Menagerie..."

His arms tightened. "It's okay." He repeated. She nodded, head still on his chest. She pulled back slightly, wiping her eyes.

"Are people staring?"

"No. No one noticed." He laughed quietly.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing, really. It's just that this is what normally happens to _me_. Only I don't show it."

"I'm sorry, Kaz."

"Don't be."

"Kaz?"

"Yes?"

"Don't ever almost die again. Please."

He laughed again. "I'll try to avoid it."

"Kaz?"

"Yes, Inej?"

"I don't think I could live without you."

He looked her in the eye, his bitter coffee eyes turned almost gold by the lights. " _I_ don't think I could live without _you._

She swiped at her eyes again, probably messing up her makeup. She found she didn't particularly care. She leaned against Kaz, his arms wrapped around her. She felt safe, even though she was in a room filled with people who wanted to kill her and all of her friends. "Inej?"

"Yes?"

"I lo-"

She was startled when Nina walked up to them, eyes shining. Kaz hurriedly let go, and Inej pulled away. Nina snorted. "Don't bother." Kaz glared, his face actually pinking. Inej hoped the fact that she had been crying didn't show.

"Well?" Kaz growled.

Nina's amused expression vanished. "I know where he is."

 **Mwahaha! Mwahahahahaha! Writing this gave me such a warm and fuzzy feeling. Please review!**


	26. Nina Spying

**Nina**

Nina grabbed a glass of champagne from a table in the back, surveying the crowd. The men were wearing suits, each with a small item of traditional flash that the denizens of the Barrel loved so much. The women were wearing bright dresses. She looked down at her own ruffled red silk dress, liking the way it hugged her curves but still left her room to move. She fixed on a member of the Dime Lions, Fridrik. He was high enough that he might know, and looked drunk enough to make some seriously bad calls. She walked over, sidling up beside him.

"Fridrik, right?" She purred. He turned drunkenly and looked at her.

"Hello." He said, slurring slightly.

"How are you this evening?" She asked him pleasantly. _Go slow._

"Do I know you?" The mans last vestiges of good sense making him suspicious.

"Not personally. I'm a member of Harley's Pointers."

"Oh. I'm well. How are you?" The mans eyes raked up and down her body.

"Well enough, considering what we've been doing the past few days." She winked. He winked back. _Good. He knows. Or he's just winking because I'm winking._ She leaned in close, lowering her voice to a whisper. "How is our prisoner?" He looked confused, and then sudden understanding lit up his eyes.

He grimaced. "Completely uncooperative. I'm getting tired of his screaming." Nina tried to suppress a shudder. They were torturing Jesper, just to find them. "It would be a lot less trouble if he just told Pekka where they're hiding." Fridrik continued. "I wouldn't have to live in that slum anymore. It's truly horrible, don't you think?"

Nina nodded, trying to quell the excitement that was bubbling up. This sucker was going to tell her without any prompting whatsoever. "It is horrible. That entire part of town is horrible."

He nodded. "I hate the warehouse district. It stinks, especially when you're near to the water." Nina tried not to smile.

He put an arm around her waist. He smelled like alcohol. "You're staying there full time?" She asked, trying to steer the conversation back to where she wanted it.

"Yes, most of the Dime Lions, except for tonight. Rollins is letting everyone take the night. Right back after the party, though." He scowled.

She pouted. "Boo. Is there still people watching him?"

"Of course. Ten men, all armed, in case Brekker tries anything. Pity them."

"Isn't Rollins worried that the prisoner will try to escape tonight?"

Fridrik laughed drunkenly. "Believe me, he's got nothing to fear. The boy couldn't get out of that chair even if he wasn't chained." Nina shivered a little, thankfully he didn't notice. Jesper was hurt, and was somewhere in the Warehouse District, by the water, apparently chained to a chair. She needed an address, or at least information on what the house looked like.

"The hideout looks horrible, too, doesn't it?"

He nodded. "Green eaves. Disgusting. And a red roof." He snorted. "What idiot paints a roof red? And we get a lovely view of those massive silos on top of that. Practically in their shadow."

 _Good._ Green eaves, red roof, by the water, near the sweet reef silos. Should be enough. But Fridrik wasn't done being useful. "Entire place smells of meat. Used to be a butchers or something. Still has the sign in front. Disgusting."

"Disgusting." Agreed Nina. Fridrik apparently has some serious issues with the Dime Lions choice of hideout. And an odd fixation on the word disgusting.

"I have to go." Nina said, trying to sound disappointed. "My boss needs me. You know how it is."

Fridrik nodded and waved, incredibly drunk. Nina walked away, looking for Kaz and Inej. She found them standing together, Inej pressed against Kaz's chest, Kaz with his arms around her. As she approached, Kaz hurriedly backed up, letting go of Inej. Inej stepped away from him, swiping at her eyes. She looked like she had been crying. "Don't bother." She said, amused. And happy. It was nice to see Kaz being a human being for once. Kaz glared daggers at her. Was that a blush?

"Well?" He practically snarled.

Her amusement vanished. "I know where he is."

"Where?" Inej asked.

"A slum with a red roof, green eaves, butchers sign out front. Next to the water, near Sweet Reef."

Kaz nodded. "Good. Let's find the others." They walked, keeping distance between them. As they passed Anika and Wylan, Kaz signaled them. They would wait a few minutes after they left, and then follow. Nina tapped Marli's shoulder as she passed. She could see the dark brown of her hair peeking out from beneath the blonde in places. She hadn't done a very good job tailoring them. Marli turned her head, seeing who it was and glancing away. The blue of her eyes had mixed with the green Nina had put there, creating a strange but not terrible looking mix. If anything, it made her prettier.

Nina left before everyone else, passing through the doors of the ballroom and out the front doors of the hotel. She turned the corner, grabbing a dark overcoat from the pile they had placed there earlier. After a few minutes, Kaz and Inej strode out, taking coats from the pile. Anika and Wylan followed soon after.

"Well?" Wylan asked, looking like a lost puppy.

"We know where he is." Kaz said shortly.

"Are we going tonight?"

"Depends." Kaz said, turning to Nina.

"Fridrik said there was ten men guarding him tonight, all armed. He's hurt, and from what I got, he can't walk."

Wylan shuddered. Kaz's eyes narrowed. "That complicates things."

"If we wait, there'll be more. My man said most of the Dime Lions have been staying there full time."

Kaz nodded, his mind apparently made up. "We go tonight."


	27. Kaz Rescue

**Kaz**

 _I don't think I could live without you._ Kaz tried to focus on the task at hand, but his mind kept being pulled back to that sentence, the honesty in her dark eyes as she had spoken it. He had meant what he'd said, too, he didn't think he'd be able to keep going if she died. Not after Jordie, not after his family. She was lovely, and beautiful, and brave, and kind, and so much more than he deserved, and he couldn't live without her. But why did a canal rat with trust issues and the personality of a porcupine mean so much to her? He's taught her how to kill people, how to spy, how to steal. He'd brought her nothing but pain and unhappiness. He wondered what her response would have been to what he had been about to say.

"Kaz. Ketterdam to Kaz." He looked over to see Marli staring at him, an exasperated look on her face. Nina had put her features to rights, but had left her hair and eyes for later. Her hair was caught somewhere between blonde and brown, and the blue and green of her eyes had mixed. "Alright? I've been trying to talk to you for the past five minutes."

Kaz cursed inwardly. They were lying on top of a roof in the Warehouse district, watching the slum where Jesper was being kept. They were spying, making sure there were no nasty surprises in wait. Nina's information seemed to be correct, no one had entered or left. The others were split into groups, Anika and Wylan near the back door, Inej near the front. When Kaz gave the signal, everyone would enter, him and Marli through a window on the top floor, and would take out the guards. "I'm fine." He muttered, not taking his eyes off the house. He hated that Marli had seen him like that, but he was glad it had been her, and not Nina, Wylan, or Anika. He could trust that she would keep it a secret.

"Are we clear?" Marli asked.

"Looks like. Let's go."

Kaz lifted his bonelight, waving it twice. Two other light replied. Marli grasped the back of his coat, jumping into open air. As usual, Kaz felt a few terrifying seconds of free fall before she dropped him on the sill of the window, landing above him on the roof. She kept holding him on the sill with her powers, as he slipped his picks out of his sleeve, grateful to have his gloves back. He easily managed the lock, and they crawled in, landing in a dusty empty room. They cautiously exited, Marli with her hands raised. A squeal and a thump came from downstairs. Anika or Inej's knives, no doubt. They searched all of the upstairs rooms, then slowly headed down. Inej was standing in the dirty kitchen, three men at her feet. Anika and Wylan slipped in a moment later.

"We got three." Anika whispered.

"That leaves four." He muttered. "Let's go." They walked through the silent house, finally coming to one room they hadn't searched yet. Kaz peeked through the open door. On the opposite side of the room, four guards stood, looking nervous and holding pistols. Kaz silently gestured to Marli. She slipped past him, and as the guards raised their pistols to fire, Marli raised her hands. They slammed against the wall, heads hitting the brick with a crack. She let them fall to the floor, unconscious.

Kaz walked through the room, over to the door, He turned the handle. It wasn't even locked. He went through, and saw Jesper chained to a chair, staring at the ceiling. He looked horrible. His left arm looked broken, and his arms were covered with slashes and bruises. His right eye was swollen and purple. He heard Wylan and the others gasp as they came through the doorway. "Jesper?" He said. He was shaking. He was going to kill Pekka. Destroy him. No mercy, not this time.

Jesper twitched slightly at the sound, but his face didn't change.

Kaz limped over to him. "Jesper."

His gaze slowly focused on him. "Kaz."

"Yes."

"You came."

Kaz's chest was tight. "Of course I came. You're part of my crew."

Jesper smiled a little. "Is Wylan here?"

"I'm here." Wylan said, stepping forward.

"Hi, merchling."

Wylan choked. "Oh, Jes."

Kaz knelt down at his feet, unlocking the chains. "Are we going?" Jesper asked. Kaz wanted to punch something.

"Yes. We're getting out of here."

"Good. I hate it here." Jesper's gaze was oddly unfocused.

"I know you do." Kaz said, putting his arm around Jesper and lifting him up. Jesper groaned. Wylan hurried over and got on Jesper's other side.

"Kaz, I didn't tell him anything. Promise." Jesper said, looking intensely at him.

"I know you didn't." His voice broke. "I'm sorry, Jes."

Jesper looked confused. "Why?"

Kaz squeezed his eyes shut. "I should've seen it coming, should've known that they would try to take a hostage."

Jesper rested his head on his shoulder. "Couldn't have known. Geels said you got shot."

"I did. I'm fine." They hauled Jesper out of the house, into a _gondel._ Jesper sagged, still resting on Kaz's shoulder.

He suddenly sat up straighter. "Kaz, it's Rollins!"

"Shhh." Nina soothed. "We know."

Jesper blinked. "I'm gone."

"What?" Wylan asked.

"I'm gone. I'm not there anymore."

"No, you're with us."

"Oh." He started to cry. Wylan put his arms around him, creating an awkward pile on Kaz's shoulder. Kaz found he didn't mind a bit.

 **I'm sorry if Jesper isn't very Jesperish in this chapter. I don't think anyone would be thinking very well after about three days of torture. Please review!**


	28. Wylan Helping

**Wylan**

Wylan held on to Jesper, feeling him shake with sobs. he wanted to kill Pekka Rollins for doing this to Jesper. For making Jesper, brave, reckless, wild Jesper, cry. He rubbed his back, and he felt Jesper begin to stop shivering. They arrived at six harbour, everyone stepping out of the _gondel._ Kaz helped Wylan lever Jesper out, supporting him between them. They slowly walked towards the boat they had left there earlier. Jesper gasped as Wylan sat him down. His ribs were probably broken, and his arm didn't look to good. Wylan eyed the knife cuts that went up and down Jesper's arms. He had bruises, too, like he had been hit with a blunt object, probably a pipe. Wylan fought the urge to burst into tears himself. Inej, Kaz, Nina, and Anika began to row, taking them out of sixth harbour toward fifth, aiming to go past Eil Komedie to Hellgate. Jesper held onto him like he was drowning. Wylan saw Kaz looking at Jesper with something close to actual concern for someone else. Then he saw Wylan looking and glanced away. Wylan was frustrated. Why did he feel the need to keep hiding how much he cared?

"Why do Nina and Marli look weird?" Jesper asked confusedly.

"Nina tailored them so they wouldn't be recognized."

"Recognized where?"

"We went to a dance so we could find out where they were keeping you."

"You all went dancing? Without me?" Jesper sounded indignant.

Wylan smiled slightly, glad Jesper was getting back to normal, if you could call Jesper normal. "Sorry."

"You'll take me next time, though, right?"

"You got it."

"Can we have waffles?"

"All the waffles you want." Jesper gave him a small smile. Wylan smiled back. Their small boat landed on the gravelly shore of Hellgate. They climbed out of the boat, taking it to a small rocky outcropping and hiding it. The boat they had used to move everyone to Hellgate was hidden in a cave on the north side of the island. Kaz helped Wylan move Jesper into the old tower, leading him to a separate room where they could talk. Wylan sat Jesper down against the wall, curling up beside him. Nina examined his arm, and grimaced.

"Hold him still." She advised Wylan. "Kaz." Kaz came over, and grasped his other arm, holding him to the wall. Wylan, understanding what they were doing, held Jesper's shoulders. This was going to hurt. Nina felt along his arm, and the pulled, straightening it. Jesper howled. Wylan held him down as Nina took a piece of fabric out of her bag and folded it, making a sling. Wylan grimaced, trying to hold Jesper's shoulders. He was _strong._ Kaz put an arm around Jesper's chest, holding him still so that Nina could loop the sling under his arm and across his body, tying it at his neck. Jesper whimpered, and Wylan could feel his heart breaking.

Nina continued to bandage Jesper's various injuries, tying a bandage around his chest, which required Kaz and Wylan to hold him down again. By the time she was done, Jesper was panting, and Wylan was half on Kaz's lap. Surprisingly, Kaz didn't shove him away, just kept holding Jesper.

Nina slowly pulled Jesper to his feet, led him to a blanket, and sat him back down again. Kaz jabbed Wylan. "Get off, merchling." Wylan jumped up, and Kaz slowly tried to stand. He doubled over. "Damn it." He gasped. Wylan slowly reached out and offered the Bastard of the Barrel his hand. Kaz eyed him, and then, to Wylan's surprise, took it. Wylan him to his feet, Kaz stumbling slightly. "Thanks." He muttered.

Wylan nodded. Kaz must have been in serious pain to actually accept someones help. The others were all watching worriedly. "So what now?" Anika asked.

Kaz's eyes narrowed. "Now, we deal with Rollins and the other gangs."


	29. Nina Kaz's Brother

**Nina**

They sat as they had before the dance, in a circle, trading ideas. Nina noticed Inej and Kaz sitting closer than friends usually did, and smiled. She looked around at the others, seeing no reaction whatsoever. Were they all blind? As she watched, Inej reached out and gently took Kaz's hand. Kaz held it, her bronze coloured hand in his gloved one. Nina figured she was either going to burst out laughing or cry. "Kaz?" She said quietly, trying to keep a straight face. Kaz immediately let go of Inej's hand and glared. Again, his cheeks heated almost to the point of a blush. It was decided, she was going to laugh.

"What?" He growled.

"Nothing." She giggled.

He glanced away from her, still that interesting shade of pink.

"How are we going to do this?" Marli asked. "Springing a prisoner is one thing, actually taking Rollins down is another."

Kaz shrugged, looking frustrated. "It's his move."

"What is this, a chess match?"

"More or less."

"I hate chess."

Kaz shifted, wincing and then immediately trying to hide it. She thought about Wylan offering Kaz help, and Kaz actually accepting. He must be in pain, tough or not. A bullet to the stomach wasn't something you just shrugged off. "Did he say anything to you, Jes?"

"Not really." Jesper mumbled. "But..."

"Yes, Jes?"

"Rollins said something weird."

Kaz looked cautious. "And what would that be?" Nina sensed a dangerous note in his voice that hadn't been there before.

"He said...he said he killed your brother, and you've hated him since you were a kid. He said you threatened his son?" Jesper's eyes were curiously detached. The boy clearly was not thinking about what he was saying.

Kaz froze, his eyes wide. She had never seen the vulnerable look that passed over his face now. Kaz had a brother? And Rollins had killed him? That explained why Kaz hated him so much. Wylan, Anika's and Marli's eyes were big. Inej didn't look surprised. "What?" Wylan said.

" _That_ son of a bitch killed him?" Marli exploded. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What would you have done?"

"I don't know! Suffocated him slowly?"

"And what would that accomplish?"

"It'd make me feel better!" Marli was crying, tears tracking down her cheeks. "At least tell me what happened?"

For the first time, Nina saw Kaz look absolutely helpless. "Marli-"

"He was stupid, reckless, and arrogant, but I loved him, Kaz. I loved him like he was my brother. I loved you like you were my brother. So just put your stupid ego away for a minute and tell me!"

Kaz looked utterly hopeless. "It'd take a lot longer than a minute to explain."

"What is going _on_?" Anika asked, mirroring Nina's thoughts.

Marli scrubbed at her eyes. "Kaz had a brother. And Kaz won't tell me what happened to him." Kaz sighed.

Jesper looked confused. "I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault, Jesper." Marli said, looking at Kaz pleadingly.

Kaz levered himself up with his cane and limped away, face impassive. Marli watched him go sadly. "Kaz...had a brother?" Nina asked slowly, trying to order her thoughts.

"Yes." Inej said quietly. "He died."

"And how do you know this?"

"He told me."

Nina nodded. "What do we do?"

"Nothing changes. Kaz will probably be pissy for a while, though.

"When is he not?"

"What happened to his brother?" Anika asked.

Inej looked sad. "He won't tell me, either." Marli sighed and sat back.

"We need him to plan." Nina said.

Inej looked at her. "I think we should leave him alone for a while."

Nina leaned against the wall, sighing. "Anyone have any snacks?"

Wylan turned to her. "Are you serious?"

"Completely." She assured him.

Marli silently reached into her bag and pulled out a tin of biscuits. She handed it to Nina. "You're a Saint." She said, already shoving a few into her mouth. They were chocolate coated.

Wylan sighed, curling up next to Jesper. Marli laid down too, curling against the wall. Nina scooted over to her. "Care if I sleep next to you?"

"Go ahead." She murmured. Nina laid down, taking a mirror from her bag. She shovelled biscuits in her mouth with one hand, trying to trick herself into believing it was chocolate cake, concentrating on changing her hair back to light brown with other.

"Don't eat all my biscuits." Marli muttered. Nina turned her head and grinned at her. Marli narrowed her eyes mock threateningly.

"I'll change your hair and eyes back tomorrow." She promised. Marli nodded and turned over. Nina slowly fell asleep, thinking about Kaz and his brother. What had happened?

 **Sorry for the long update! Had serious writers block/confidence issues for a while there.**


	30. Marli Brekker, Not Rietveld

**Marli**

Marli sat with Wylan and Jesper, back against the wall, arms around her knees. They had sent Inej to go get Kaz. Kaz was not going to be pleased with this latest development. Then again, Kaz was rarely pleased with anything, or anyone.

"I shouldn't have mentioned his brother." Jesper whispered.

"Nothing we can do about it now." Wylan whispered back, keeping his eyes on the doorway. Jesper was much recovered, although being uncharacteristically quiet and nervous. Marli knew the only reason Jesper had avoided death at Kaz Brekker's hands last night was because Kaz knew he hadn't been thinking straight. She wished Kaz would tell her what had happened to Jordie. She wondered if his aversion to touch was somehow related to Jordie's death.

Kaz strode in. His leg seemed worse today. "What now?" He growled. She felt the tension in the room go up another notch. This was not going to be pretty. She wondered who was going to tell him. He glanced around the room expectantly.

"Kaz?" Nina said tentatively.

"What! What is it?" He roared.

"They burned the Slat."

You could almost hear the snap. His eyes got a fraction bigger, the pupils dilating. "What?" He said slowly. She saw Wylan's hands drift toward his ears, and braced herself. "What?" He said, louder.

"The Dime Lions, they set fire to the Slat last night. Roeder was spying, he was there. They're taking away our hiding places."

Kaz began to pace. "I got that." He said, frighteningly calm. Somehow, that was scarier than if he had been yelling or screaming. She could see he was itching to punch something. She prayed it wouldn't be one of them. Anika shrank against the wall, looking like she was trying to make herself seem smaller. His voice was like the over rosined bow of a violin. His hands were clenched into fists. Jesper looked terrified. This was _not_ the boy she had grown up with, not the boy she had considered a brother. This was Kaz Brekker, not Kaz Rietveld.

Inej looked angry as well. "They burned our home." She said. "What are we going to do?"

Kaz snarled, an angry, animalistic sound that reverberated off the stone walls and made them all flinch. "I'll tell you what we're going to do. We are going to destroy Rollins life." His eyes gleamed flat black, like a sharks. In that moment, he looked more monster than man. "And I know exactly how to do it."


	31. Jesper Small Spaces

**Jesper**

Jesper shivered as he listened to Kaz outlining a plan. The plan was to kidnap Rollins son, Alby, someone Jesper hadn't known existed until now. Rollins had mentioned a son, but he hadn't exactly been in top listening form. They were going to hold him until Rollins agreed to back off, but first, they needed to find him, which meant breaking into the Kaelish prince, where Rollins kept files. Jesper's mind wasn't so much on the plan as the look on Kaz's face. He was afraid to talk, and was pretty sure the others felt the same. Kaz didn't seem to realize it, but he was clenching his fists so hard his hands were shaking.

He was still pacing, walking across the room and back. Nobody dared move. Anika looked like she was trying to become part of the wall. Jesper had only seen Kaz this angry a few times, once, when a member of the Dregs had been shot by a traitor Kaz hadn't even realized was a traitor. Jesper shuddered just thinking about what Kaz had done to that boy. The other time, sometime in the first year Inej had been brought to the Dregs, a boy had tried to make a move right in front of Kaz. Not one of the kids better ideas. Jesper didn't really want to think about what had happened to him, either. Of course, Kaz hadn't snapped his arm in front of Inej. When it had actually happened, Kaz had stood by, impassive. he had only stepped in when the boy had tried to kiss her. He had waited until Inej was gone to get really angry. Jesper wondered why.

There had been a few other times, too, times where Kaz had seemed more animal than human. It was terrifying. Usually, the angrier Kaz was, the colder and more inhuman he became. But there were exceptions to every rule.

For this plan to work, they would need access to Rollins office, without anyone seeing them, or Rollins would be tipped off that they were looking for something. Marli and Inej were the best bet for sneakiness, but they needed a way to get Rollins and any guards out of the office for at least half an hour. Jesper knew this was one of the only options left open to them, but he was nervous about helping Kaz kidnap his worst enemies very helpless son. He remembered the people Dirtyhands had tortured in the past, the people he had killed. He didn't think Kaz would have a problem doing something terrible to a young child, especially Pekka's kid. Jesper shivered.

"How are we going to get them out of the office?" Wylan asked tentatively. Jesper nudged him in a show of support. Kaz looked at him, probably not even meaning to, but glaring daggers at him just the same.

"Not sure yet." He growled, continuing to pace. Like a wild animal trapped in a too small cage. Inej stood by the doorway, eyes following Kaz, looking concerned. And afraid.

Jesper wished Matthias was there. The Fjerdan had had a way of defusing tension with Kaz, possibly because only his glower could stand up to Kaz's glare. Saints, he missed Helvar.

He remembered Kaz almost breaking down in that house, actually apologizing to him. Kaz did have a conscience, it was just buried under years of bitterness and anger. Jesper remembered the concern and guilt in his bitter coffee eyes as he had stood over him. There had been something else, too, something Jesper knew well: pain. Now, his eyes were flat black and utterly emotionless. Jesper shivered and looked away.

Kaz suddenly turned and left. Everyone simultaneously relaxed. Jesper was scared senseless of Kaz when he was angry, but also felt a strange kind of sympathy. _He feels trapped._ Wylan hugged him, and Jesper's train of thought derailed. It was good to be near the merchling again.


	32. Inej Family

**Inej**

She found him on the beach, hurling rocks into the sea. The wind had picked up slightly, and waist high waves were pounding the rocky shores. He was picking up rocks, and tossing them as far as he could into the churning surf. She supposed it was a batter release than hitting someone.

She walked up behind him, purposely making noise so he'd know she was there. He kept throwing rocks until he looked exhausted, then sat down. She sat down next to him. The look in his eyes scared her. "Kaz?" She asked tentatively.

"What do you want?" He snapped, his voice raw and unshielded.

She pursed her lips. "I want to know if you're okay." She asked simply.

"Leave me alone." He snarled. She flinched slightly.

"Kaz, please."

"I'm not okay. Now leave me alone."

He was angry, but there was more to it than that. The Slat had been his home. _At least he's admitting there's a problem._ She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. He flinched, but didn't knock her hand away. She could feel him shaking under her hand. "Stop. Just relax."

"I can't." He growled.

"Yes you can."

"No, I can't."

"You can, and you will, if you want me here." He looked up at that. He was angry, but underneath that, there was misery and pain. "Just stop with the anger. I can deal with just about anything else, but I'm not going to fight you."

She watched with satisfaction as he tried to take a deep breath. He was still shaking, but at least he was trying. His fists slowly relaxed. He took a few more deep breaths, the shaking stopping. He no longer looked like he would kill the first person who stepped into his line of sight. He looked at her, coffee eyes softer. "I'm sorry."

She nodded. "Please don't scare me like that."

"Scare you?"

"Kaz, you're terrifying when you're angry."

He looked at the ground. "I would never hurt you."

"I know you wouldn't. But please."

He nodded. "I'll try."

They sat in silence for awhile. There was something she needed to make sure of, but she was hesitant to put him in a bad mood again. She knew Kaz would never intentionally hurt her, but that didn't make his rage any less intimidating.

"Kaz?" She asked finally. He looked at her questioningly. "When we do this, you won't hurt Alby, will you?"

His fists tightened. He didn't say anything for several moments. "Kaz. He's a child. He did nothing wrong. We don't get to choose our parents."

He gazed out to sea. "What do you want from me, Inej?"

"A promise. Promise me you won't hurt him." He glanced at her, his reluctance clear. She fought the voice that told her she couldn't control what Kaz did, and she was a fool to try. She couldn't let Kaz do this to an innocent child, do this to himself. "Please. For me. Not for Rollins. For me."

He squeezed his eyes shut. It was barely a whisper when he said "I promise." She smiled, and reached out to hug him before pulling back, remembering. He sighed. His promise made her feel better. In the time that she had known him, the few promises he had made, he had kept. She thought of something suddenly.

"Kaz?"

"Yes?"

"How long have you had issues with contact?"

"Since...since I was nine."

 _Too young._ "So you've...you've never kissed a girl?"

He looked away. "No."

"Do you want to?" She should know the answer to that one, she saw it sometimes when they were close.

"Yes. Sometimes." He admitted softly.

"But you've never kissed a girl."

"No, Inej. I'm seventeen, and I've never even kissed a girl, much less been close to one. Pathetic, isn't it?"

"No." She thought of what she would give to have never experienced the Menagerie. "Not pathetic." A thought struck her. "You've been close to _me_."

He blushed. And not the pinkish light blushes she'd been seeing lately, a deep red blush that spread from his cheeks to his ears. She was delighted. "You don't count." He muttered.

"Why not?"

"You're different."

"How?"

"I don't know. You just are." At some point in their conversation, it had turned into an actual conversation two teenagers might have with each other. She laughed, and he smiled at her, still blushing bright red. She committed this moment to memory, so no matter how bad things got later, she'd have this, Kaz bright red and smiling. Kaz slowly stripped off his gloves and took her hand. She looked at her bronze hand in his pale trickster fingers. She cautiously shifted closer.

"You smell like cinnamon." Kaz said thoughtfully.

"Really? You always said I didn't have a scent."

"You do. I've just never been close enough to notice."

"Cinnamon?" He nodded. "Do you know what you smell like?" He shook his head, watching her. "Citrus."

"You're not serious."

"Completely. You smell like oranges." It was true, he did. It was a familiar smell, one at odds with his cold demeanour and the work he did.

His smile disappeared. "Inej."

"What is it?"

"How are your parents going to react?"

"To what, the fact that you're a cold blooded killer?"

"That and..." He gestured between them. "This."

She raised an eyebrow. "This." He nodded, colouring again slightly. She sighed. "To the fact that you're a criminal, I doubt they'll be pleased. They will probably be frightened, and they're not going to like me going anywhere with you. To _this,_ I...don't know. You aren't exactly the type of man they would want with their daughter." He nodded again, looking sad. "Kaz, what would your parents say?"

Kaz ducked his head, his face turning white. "Let's not." She squeezed his hand silently. He sighed, closing his eyes. "They wouldn't be happy." She waited patiently, knowing he had more to say. "I think...maybe my mother would understand why, but she still wouldn't..." he trailed off, looking lost. "My father would kill me."

She rubbed her thumb over his pulse. "So you're not a bastard." He shook his head. "What was your mother like?"

He looked thoughtful. "She...was like you. She died when I was small, I don't remember her all that well, but she was like you. Brave, strong, full of platitudes."

She felt he cheeks warm. _Brave. Strong._ "And your father?"

He snorted. "Helvar kind of reminded me of him. Not mean, just tough as nails and unwilling to put up with people walking over him." He went quiet. "I miss them." He admitted. She thought of what it must have taken him to admit that, how much he had to have trusted her.

"Kaz?"

"Yes?"

"What was Jordie like?"

Kaz stiffened. She felt his pulse leap under her thumb. "It's fine." She said hurriedly. "You don't..."

"It's okay." He took a breath. "Jordie was like...Jordie was like Jesper. Crazy, reckless. He was arrogant and greedy, too, which is what eventually killed him."

"So that time you called Jesper Jordie..."

"You have no idea how much Jesper sounds, acts like him. It's terrifying." She leaned her head on his shoulder. He was shaking again. "Whenever Jesper's being particularly stupid, its like a flashback to my brother, saying the exact same thing." He shivered. "I can't let what happened to him happen to Jesper. Can't." She wanted to ask what had happened to Jordie, but the fractured look in Kaz's eyes told her she had pushed him enough for one day. They sat in silence, holding hands, staring at the waves.


	33. Kaz Sun and Stars

**Kaz**

He wasn't quite sure why he had told Inej about his parents and Jordie. It had felt good to get some of it off his chest, though. Maybe someday he would be strong enough to tell about what had happened to him and Jordie. She wouldn't be around someday, he remembered. If they survived this latest disaster, she would go hunt slavers. With that thought an almost physical weight seemed to press down on his chest. For once, he tried to _focus_ on her hand in his, her head resting on his shoulder, the faint scent of cinnamon. Still here.

She looked up at him. "All right?"

"Yes." She had no clue it was very different pain that tortured him now. He couldn't have her close, and yet he couldn't bear seeing her leave. He needed a cup of the bitterest, most disgusting coffee he could find. Or maybe a good hard punch to the face. He thought about telling her what he had been trying to tell her for two days, and couldn't summon the courage. He couldn't deal with her possible rejection right now.

He idly picked up a rock from the beach. He had been throwing them into the ocean when Inej had arrived, desperate to somehow work off his anger. It hadn't accomplished much more than pain in his abdomen when he had wound up to throw. Nina had told him how the Dime Lions had burned the Slat, and then every thought that didn't have to do with killing Rollins and getting revenge had gone out the window. He had dimly recognized the way they had looked at him with fear, the way they flinched, the way Inej had flinched away from him, but he had ignored it, unable to focus on it for more than a few seconds. He had finally left before he snapped. The space had been too small.

The anger had been replaced with Inej's voice, her calm in a sea of rage, and now this strange sweet pain. He hated it, and at the same time didn't want to be free of it. This was strange. It refused to be pushed back, instead making it hard to breathe as Inej cautiously squeezed his hand. The sun was coming up, turning the sky red and gold. He looked down to see the sun and stars reflected in Inej's dark eyes. She glanced up, smiling slightly. "What are you looking at?"

"Sun and stars." She looked past him to the horizon.

"In the same sky. Interesting."

"Beautiful. Like you." Shit, had he said that out loud?

Inej looked back at him thoughtfully. "The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true. What do you want, Kaz?"

He swallowed. He remembered when she had asked him that on the Ferolind, on the way to the Ice Court. Lots of answers had came to him, but none as insistent as the one he thought of then, the one thought of now. _You, Inej. You._ "I don't know anymore." He said miserably.

"Just tell me what you're thinking."

Fine. She had asked for it. "You. Money. Revenge. You. Jordie's voice silenced. Pekka Rollins dead. You." She was looking at him strangely. "You said to tell you what I'm thinking." She nodded.

"You...want me?"

"Not...not like...I need you, Inej. You make me a better person, a better man." The words came out in a rush.

She slowly smiled. "Good answer." She leaned against him, and they sat together, watching the stars slowly fade from the sky as the sun rose.

"What do you want?" He asked her.

She paused, considering. "For everything to be okay with you and my parents. To hunt slavers. To get through this latest job without anyone dying." She paused again. "You."

The weight on his chest increased. "Why do you care about me so much?"

"You saved me from something worse than death, Kaz. I believe you're worth saving, too." He put his arm around her, watching the dark shift to light, the night retreating.

 **I know what you're thinking. More Kanej? I'm kind of following a pattern of characters, just for now. The pattern is going to have to dissolve later. And, I just love writing Kanej. Please review!**


	34. Wylan Quick Learner

**Wylan**

Wylan was watching Nina change Marli's hair from blonde to brown when Inej and Kaz walked in. Kaz looked a lot calmer than he had an hour ago. He snuck a look at Jesper. Dark shadows under his eyes, grey eyes still darting left and right, constantly watching. His arm was still in a sling, his chest still bandaged. The bruises on his arms had begun to fade, and the cuts were slowly healing. He still looked like crap, though. Jesper caught him looking, and gave Wylan a halfhearted smile. Wylan responded by placing his head on his shoulder. He felt Jesper rest his cheek on top of him. "Merchling?"

"Yes, Jes?"

"When Rollins was torturing me..."

"You don't need to talk about it." Wylan said, feeling a surge of anger and fear towards Rollins.

"Yes, I do. When was Rollins was torturing me, the only thing that got me through it was memories."

"Memories of what?" Wylan asked, though he had a sneaking suspicion he knew what.

Jesper breathed deeply. "You. Your face, your voice, every memory I have of you." The sneaking suspicion was correct. Wylan turned to face him. Jesper's eye had healed, looking only slightly purple. He silently waited. Then Jesper's lips were on him, and it felt wonderful. It was like one of his bombs going off.

"When you're quite done." Kaz said, annoyed. Jesper pulled away, looking sheepish. Wylan felt his own cheeks burning. He had completely forgotten the others were there.

Kaz sat down awkwardly against the stone wall. "So how are we going to distract them long enough?" Anika asked, looking nervous.

Kaz smiled without an ounce of humour. "They want to play with fire, they're going to get burned."

"Are we seriously going to commit arson?" Marli asked.

"Blazing fires have a way of distracting people."

"Where are we going to set it?" Inej asked.

"Ground floor of the Kaelish Prince. Wylan is the least known in the Barrel, he'll be the one to set it."

"What if Rollins's office is locked?" Anika asked.

"It will be. And I can't be there to pick it. Someone is going to have to pick his pocket to get the keys."

"How are you going to get close enough?" Jesper asked quietly.

"I can't. I won't be able to be in the building at all. Any of the Dime Lions would recognize me instantly." Kaz said, his gaze settling on Wylan. He fidgeted uncomfortably.

Jesper's eyes narrowed. "Kaz, he can't..."

"I know he doesn't know how." Kaz said, his gaze still on Wylan. _Oh no._ "But he's a quick learner."


	35. Nina Us

**Hey, guys! Sorry for the late update, I've been agonizing over another fic, about whether Kaz is OOC or not. May the fanfiction gods bestow clarity on my tortured soul.**

 **Nina**

This was madness. How could sweet, innocent Wylan start a fire, and then pick one of the most powerful men in Ketterdam's pocket? He'd be caught. Killed. Hung by his ankles from a balcony at the Exchange. Or just disappear, quickly and quietly, leaving his mother alone. Kaz was insane.

What struck her most about this new course of action wasn't so much Kaz's normal craziness, it was the fact that he was willing to teach Wylan his tricks. Brekker had always remained tight lipped about how he accomplished his strange sleight of hand.

"Kaz, he can't. He'll get caught." Jesper pleaded.

"Not if he does it right."

"How are you going to teach him in less than a day? We need to do this soon."

"He can do it."

"No, he can't."

"I can at least try." Wylan said softly, leaning against the wall. Kaz looked approving, Jesper looked like he was about to scream.

"Merchling, please." Jesper begged.

"It's okay, Jes." Wylan looked at Kaz with something akin to trust in his eyes. What was the kid thinking? She wouldn't trust Kaz to tie her shoes.

"Okay, merchling, let's go." Kaz strode out of the room, Wylan following. Jesper put his head in his hands.

"What just happened?"

Even Inej looked concerned. "Kaz knows what he's doing...probably. He won't hurt him, Jes."

"He'd better not." Jesper growled. They all lapsed into silence. Nina turned her attention to Marli's eyes. She needed to remove the rest of the green. It took more effort than she was willing to admit, but Marli's eyes slowly turned from muddled blue green to their normal ice blue.

"You have Fjerdan eyes." Nina commented. The girl immediately stiffened.

"So?" She said, her face curiously blank.

Nina was surprised. "Just saying, they look very Fjerdan. Do you have a Fjerdan relative?" Nina observed Marli's hands curling into fists. Apparently she had hit a nerve.

"What's it to you?"

"Nothing, I'm just curious, that's all." Nina backtracked, trying to calm her down. "Relax."

Marli glared at her. After a moment, her eyes softened slightly. "Yes, I have a Fjerdan relative. But it's none of your business."

Nina thought of something. "What if I ask you a question, then you ask me a question? Anything you'd like."

Marli seemed to consider it. "All right." She said slowly. "You go first."

Nina decided to start small. "Who in your family is Fjerdan?"

She pursed her lips. "My father. What is jurda parem?"

Nina chose her answer carefully. "A drug, used on Grisha to make them stronger. It eventually kills them. It no longer exists." Or so she hoped. She wondered if Kuwei had made any progress in Ravka with a cure. Marli looked puzzled. "How did you learn to use your power that way?"

Marli frowned. "It's just how it works. When I was small, I didn't even notice I was using it." Nina nodded. That was fairly common, Grisha using their gifts as children without realizing what they were doing was different. "When you said you were no longer a Heartrender, what did you mean? You can still Tailor."

Nina felt sad. "I took parem." Marli looked confused.

"I thought you said it kills us."

"It does, and almost did. Sometimes the addiction doesn't set in on the first dose. I was lucky." She thought of throwing up into a bucket, every sense on fire. Lucky indeed. "Parem...somehow changed my power. I can control the dead now." Marli's eyes were as wide as saucers.

"What? How?"

"Eh. Wait your turn." Nina paused. She had the feeling she was heading into dangerous territory again. "What are those scars on your arm from?" Nina had seen them, whenever her sleeve had been pulled up. Small white lines.

Marli's expression instantly darkened. She glanced around, making sure the others were occupied with other things before answering. "My father came to Kerch from Fjerda to escape fighting between Fjerda and Ravka. He never really let go of his old beliefs, though. Still believes Grisha deserve to die, like we are less than animals. He hates people like us." She loved that word, _us._ It was small, but strong and defiant.

"He's still alive?"

Marli didn't object to her asking a second question. "As far as I know. I left home four years ago. How can you raise the dead?"

"I don't know. That's just how parem changed my power. I can control dead flesh, bones, cells." She thought about using a cloud of bone dust to choke a guard. Marli nodded, eyes still wide. "How do you know Kaz?"

"We were friends when we were kids. He helped me keep what I am a secret. Then we lost touch. I found him again a few days ago."

"Kaz kept a secret? Without blackmail?" Nina was surprised.

Marli looked surprisingly sad. "He was different back then. How do you know him?"

"When I first came to Ketterdam, he offered me a job at one of the brothels as a mood specialist if I healed members of the Dregs. That's how I met these people." She gestured at Inej, Jesper, and Anika, chatting in a corner. "What can you tell me about Kaz's brother?"

Marli seemed to shut herself off. "Not much. He was my friend, too, we lost touch, apparently he died, Kaz won't tell me how." Her voice started to rise by the end of the sentence. She caught herself, closing her eyes for a second. The girl really did care about him.

Marli reached into her bag and pulled out two toffees. She handed one to Nina, eating the other. She was grateful to the small girl, she didn't have to be friendly or give her food. They were stuck together just the same. _Us._ She clung to that word. She remembered Matthias and her first finding Kuwei. _He's one of us._ This girl was, too. For better or for worse.


	36. Kaz Suffering

**Thanks to Emberphoenixx for reviewing! It was such a nice surprise! So, I'm going to torture Kaz a little in this chapter. Well, I say a little...**

 **Kaz- Thanks, Dark. Thanks so much.**

 **Me- Easy on the sarcasm, buddy.**

 **Kaz- We're not buddies. *** ** _narrows eyes*_**

 **Me- Whatever you say. Buddy.**

 **Kaz- Just start the damn story.**

 **Me- You got it.**

 **Kaz**

Kaz pulled his Komedie Brute mask lower over his face, glancing back to make sure Wylan was following. _Why am I doing this?_ Because if he didn't, they would all die at the hands of the Dime Lions. Kidnapping Alby wasn't a solution, but it would by them time they desperately needed. Wylan had followed him from the room, onto a boat, and into the city with the same trusting look on his face. _Like a lamb to slaughter._ Kaz knew he had to teach him well, or the kid was toast.

He had led them to the Staves. It was packed, even in the morning, and it was fairly easy to pick the pockets of the people pushing past. Kaz silently reached out and nabbed the wallet of an elderly gentleman. He led Wylan into a quieter alley. "How do I do this?" Wylan asked nervously. The merchling had a right to be nervous. If he screwed up and got caught here, the Dime Lions would have him in their claws within the day. _Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I was wrong, he can't do this._

He shook the thoughts off. This was his course of action. He was committed to following it. "Be quick, don't start running after you've got it. Wait and watch. Remember when I told you that people show you where they keep their scrub, if you look closely?" Wylan nodded. "I'll make it easy the first few times, I'll tell you where they're hiding it. Then, you wait until they're reasonably distracted. _Be quick._ Do not screw this up, merchling." He quickly ran through things people had said to him when he had learned to pickpocket. Tips, advice, anything he could give him. Wylan nodded again, looking unsure. There wasn't much more he could tell him. He would learn best by doing.

Kaz peered around, looking for an easy target. A man, obvious wallet in the side pocket of his trousers. Strolling along, looking distractedly at window displays. Perfect. He nudged Wylan, pointed. "Wallet, right hand pocket." Wylan visibly gulped, and stepped out into the crowd.

Kaz watched him make his way over to the man. He stepped out of the alley, and almost fell, steadying himself against the wall. He didn't know why it was hitting him so hard all of a sudden, but he suddenly became aware of people flowing past him, crushed together like sardines in a can. He managed to avoid throwing up until he had reached the alley and almost ran into a lonely corner. He whipped off his mask and threw up, his stomach heaving. He sat back and curled into a tight ball, shaking uncontrollably. What the hell was wrong with him? He got up, pulling his mask back over his face, shivering, pain exploding in his abdomen. he limped back to the head of the alley. Wylan was trailing the man, looking unsure. _Way to make it obvious, merchling._ He sank to the ground, just inside the alley. _What is wrong with me?_ It had been bad before, a lot worse than this, but it had never hit him so hard so quickly. He vaguely registered Wylan finally making a pass, coming close to hitting the man. He set off in Kaz's direction, his expression victorious.

Wylan frowned and stopped in front of Kaz. "Are you okay?" Everything was slightly blurry, and Wylan's voice sounded like it was coming from a long way away. 'Kaz, what is it?" He reached out and rested his hand on Kaz's shoulder. _No no nononono._ Kaz had to fight with every fibre of his being not to lash out at the merchling. "Are you...shaking?" Wylan asked, his puzzlement and fear evident in his voice. "Kaz. Please. What's wrong?"

Kaz closed his eyes. He had to get up, had to keep going. He stirred, climbing to his feet, bracing himself against the wall. He was glad he was wearing a mask. That way Wylan couldn't see the fear and pain on his face. _You can do this._ "You got it?" He asked, doing his best to sound unconcerned. Wylan wordlessly handed over a leather wallet, looking at him with concern clear in his eyes. Kaz surveyed the street, refusing to meet Wylan's eyes beneath the mask. "Lady, left hand pocket, bundle of kruge." He pointed.

"Kaz-" Wylan attempted.

" _Go_." He growled. He couldn't handle how close the boy was.

Wylan turned on his heels and left without another words. Kaz leaned against the wall, catching his breath. He dimly felt himself sliding down until he was sitting again. There was something seriously wrong. Why did he feel like this? His breath was coming quick and shallow. Memories were overwhelming him, memories of his family, Marli, what had happened to him and Jordie. Wylan was in front of him again, holding a stack of kruge. He knelt in front of him. "Kaz, I think you're having a panic attack." _No, really?_ He knew that. But what exactly was he supposed to do about it? There was too much, he couldn't stop.

To his surprise, Wylan took hold of his shoulder and pushed his head between his knees. "Just breathe. Breathe slowly." Wylan's voice was soft and calm. Kaz found himself timing his breaths to it. He needed the merchlings help.

"Talk." He managed to rasp.

"What?"

"Just talk. Please. It helps."

Wylan started talking about random things, business deals he had made, how Jesper was trying to convince him to try to learn to read again. He felt Wylan's voice keeping him here, keeping him in some semblance of sanity. He was no Inej, but it helped just the same. He continued to take deep breaths, and felt a giant knot of panic begin to loosen. The merchling had already seen enough to completely ruin Kaz's reputation. He didn't think Wylan would tell anyone, though. Why he thought that, he wasn't sure.

Wylan was still talking. Kaz sat up and focused on his face. He had removed his mask and was watching Kaz with concern. Kaz took a deep breath and stood up. Wylan followed. He wearily surveyed the street. "Man, breast pocket, wallet." He pointed.

Wylan looked anxious. "Are you sure you're alright?"

 _No._ "Yes."

Wylan went, throwing a worried look over his shoulder before pulling on his mask. Kaz supported himself against the wall. The merchling was going to have questions. A lot of them. None of which Kaz could deal with now. He watched Wylan bump into the man, then apologize profusely while the man yelled. Wylan walked towards him, a wallet in his hands. Wylan was getting better.

When Wylan returned, Kaz looked away from him underneath the mask. "We're going to a different street, before someone notices their pockets have been picked." Wylan nodded.

Kaz took one step and almost collapsed. His leg and bullet wound were on fire. Wylan caught him, putting an arm around him and under his shoulders. The merchling took most of his weight, Kaz leaning on his shoulder. Kaz was too busy trying not to scream at at the pain in his midsection and leg to feel discomfort at the touch. "You need a medik." Wylan said worriedly. Kaz shook his head soundlessly. He couldn't be recognized. Wylan seemed to understand, and they stood there, Kaz supported by Wylan. His panicked breathing seemed to be the final straw for his wound. His leg had been aching all day. He closed his eyes, resting on Wylan. He hated that the merchling was seeing him this way, was seeing his weakness, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. If Wylan let go, he would fall.

Eventually, the pain lessened to a more manageable level. He slowly disengaged himself from Wylan and limped down the alley, leading them to fifth harbour. Easy pickings there. Wylan followed, keeping a close eye on Kaz. To Kaz's surprise, no questions were forthcoming. Kaz hadn't allowed himself a cane on this trip. He was severely regretting that decision now. He stumbled, and Wylan caught his arm. They reached fifth harbour. Kaz sat on a crate in a corner, away from the activity. Sailors were unloading crates from a ship. Wylan sat next to him. "What is it?" Wylan asked quietly.

"Leg. Bullet wound. Obviously." Kaz said.

Wylan bit his lip. "Not that. Panic attack. What's wrong?" Kaz closed his eyes and sighed. "I used to have them, too." He looked at Wylan, startled. Wylan had removed his mask, and was sitting, staring at the ground. "When I was trying to read or write, and my father was breathing down my neck, or yelling at me...I'd feel so helpless...I'd go back to my room and throw up, or sit in the corner and cry. It happened often enough that I learned tricks for dealing with it. To time my breath on something, putting my head between my knees. You're not alone, Kaz."

Kaz's first instinct was to snap at him, tell him they were nothing like each other, it wasn't the same. But that wasn't quite true. They were like each other, all of them. Marli with her father, Inej with her experiences at the Menagerie, Jesper with his gambling problems, hiding his pain, Wylan with his father and his inability to read, Nina, having been taken from her family to become a soldier, even Anika, with the years spent in the Dregs, killing and stealing. Even Matthias, having lost his family to Grisha Inferni. They were a group united by their suffering, and Kaz was the leader.

Kaz sighed again. "It's nothing." They may be alike, but he still couldn't talk about it.

Wylan nodded. Kaz suddenly had the irrational urge to hug him. _Thank you._ "So what do I do here?" He asked, looking unsure.

Kaz remembered the reason they were there in the first place. "Pick someone. Steal what's in their pockets. Don't get caught."

"What if I get caught? The crowds aren't as thick here."

"Then I'll come bail you out. Go."

Wylan went, leaving his mask, looking uncertain. The kid had a gift for this, Kaz had seen it a long time ago. His mind worked like a thief's. Wylan noticed detail. That was why he was teaching him and not Nina, Jesper or Marli. Inej and Anika already knew a little, but Rollins had seen their faces too many times. He watched Wylan closely, seeing him survey the group of sailors and apparently choose a pigeon. Wylan made a close pass, reaching in and quickly nabbing the mans wallet. It wasn't exactly pretty, but it would do. Kaz was surprised at how well the merchling was taking this. He hadn't protested once a stealing innocent people's money. This practice had another pro too, they needed money to purchase equipment for the jobs and food for the Dregs. Wylan started back toward him. Kaz almost laughed at the startled but triumphant look on his face. "I think I can do this." Wyla said, sounding flabbergasted.

"I know you can do this." Kaz answered. Wylan looked proud. "Why do you care what I think?" Kaz asked curiously.

Wylan blinked. "You have high standards. And I don't live up to them very often."

"Yes, but why do you care about meeting my standards?"

"I-I don't know."

"You're a mercher now, you shouldn't even be associating with me, much less giving a damn about my opinion. Honestly, how do you know I'm not teaching you this so you can get caught, thrown in jail, and killed by the Dime Lions?"

"I trust you, Kaz."

That caught Kaz by surprise. "What?"

"I don't think you'd hurt me, or let the Dime Lions hurt me. I trust you."

"And you're insane." Wylan was right, he wouldn't let him get hurt. But he had a reputation to keep. "Go on. Try again." He gestured to a group of people clustered together reading a sign. Wylan walked off. The pain in his stomach was beginning to fade, the ache in his leg as strong as ever. He attempted to stretch his leg out, stopped when he almost screamed. Wylan melted into the crowd, reappearing a moment later and striding towards him. He handed Kaz a wallet. "Good." Wylan did this twice more, before they left. Kaz walked down the streets, deeper into the Barrel. He needed to see for himself.

"Where are we going?" Wylan asked. He stopped dead. Kaz looked forward. They had reached the Slat. What had been a tall building was now a pile of ashes and debris. Wylan gasped. Kaz felt empty. His home, the one place where he had felt reasonably safe. There were a few members of the stadwatch standing in front, deep in discussion.

Ignoring the pain in his leg, he walked around to where the back of the Slat had been. Wylan followed, looking stunned. Kaz crept through the wreckage, finding his metal safe half buried in ashes. Kaz slowly knelt, making sure the officers couldn't see him, and opened the safe. He took out the contents, some kruge, and a few letters and paper, and put them in his pocket. He navigated his way out again, meeting Wylan. They started making their way back to first harbour. They stopped briefly to get supplies. By the time they reached their boat, Kaz's leg was agony, but he refused to show it. Wylan cast him a sidelong glance as he winced, but thankfully didn't say anything.

They both rowed, reaching Hellgate. They hid the boat, and strode into the old tower. Inej was waiting. Wylan walked past them, presumably to to see Jesper. Inej crept out of the shadows where she had been lurking. He pulled off his mask, and her smile faltered. "You look terrible."

"Thank you."

She touched his arm lightly. "Did something happen?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine. Wylan's fine.'

She didn't look convinced. "Can Wylan do it?"

"He can do it."

Inej nodded. Slowly, she walked closer. She cautiously reached out and put a hand on his arm. He found himself relaxing, even though the water rose. He forced it down. He moved closer, feeling embarrassed. First with Wylan, now with her. "You're not okay." She murmured.

"No." He said. "Bad day." He closed his eyes. He put his arms loosely around her, letting her pull away if she needed to, breathing in the faint smell of cinnamon. She did have a scent, it was just undetectable unless you were very close.

"We go tomorrow." He said. She nodded.

"You'll be alright." She said quietly.

He took a shaky breath. "Sometimes I wonder."

She forced him to meet her eyes. "Kaz, you're not as broken as you think. You will heal." When? It had taken him eight years to actually start talking about it. "What happened?"

Kaz took a deep breathe. "I...panic attack." Inej rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Wylan can keep a secret.

"I know. The kid's actually got talent as a thief."

Inej snorted. "Don't say that to Jesper. He spent the day inventing new and creative ways to kill you if Wylan got caught."

"Really."

"Yes. Some of them were quite good. I think the sledgehammer one has merit."

"Please tell me you're joking."

Inej met his eyes, her dark eyes sparkling. "Not at all." He slowly pulled away, fighting the rising water. She smiled and took his hand instead. It was strange, his mind seemed to have split. One half found the contact painful, the other half found it comforting. They walked slowly, deeper into the prison tower. "Your leg is really bothering you, isn't it." She remarked after he winced for the fifth time in as many steps. He nodded silently, focusing on not stumbling and falling. They reached the group, letting go of each other. Wylan had handed out the food they had brought. They walked past, into the adjacent room. Jesper and Wylan were sitting together, Jesper's good arm around Wylan's shoulders. Marli, Nina, and Anika were chatting in a corner.

Kaz sat down, extending his leg. Inej sat down next to him. "We go tomorrow." The attitude in the stone room became serious. "Wylan gets in, starts the fire, steals the keys to the office from Rollins. He goes through the office, gets in, and opens the window. Inej and Marli enter through there. You find what we need, and then leave through the window. Clear?" They all nodded. "Everyone get some sleep."

Marli reached over and and turned the lantern off. Jesper and Wylan curled up together, Nina and Marli sleeping back to back, Anika leaving to join the other Dregs. A small amount of light crept in from the doorway. He wasn't expecting what came next. Inej moved and laid in front of him, not touching. He had expected her to go sleep with Nina and Marli. He could see the glimmer of her dark eyes. "Are you okay with this?" She whispered. He took a deep breath and nodded. She came a little closer and stopped. She handed him a blanket, and he wrapped himself in it. He saw that she had her won blanket. He shifted his leg, and couldn't contain a hiss of pain. He felt more than saw her reach out, fingers brushing his leg. "Here?" He nodded again. She began to gently rub it, and he felt the stiffened muscles in his leg begin to relax. She was quietly humming something. Before he knew it, he was asleep. For the first time in months, he had no nightmares at all.

 **I just love Wylan and Kaz's relationship! The most honest, baby of the group, and the Bastard of the Barrel is such an interesting platonic relationship!**


	37. Marli Found Him

**Emberphoenixx, thank you soooo much! It's so nice to find gloriously long reviews!**

 **Marli**

Marli crouched with Inej under Rollins's office window, waiting for Wylan to open it. Wylan had entered the Kaelish Prince a few minutes earlier, holding a special bomb he had made. Apparently, it was meant to start fires without leaving a trace, and without making a loud noise or exploding. Marli didn't know the science, and she didn't really care to. Wylan had assured them that it wouldn't spread very far. He was also holding a few smoke bombs. "Why can't I just go in there and pick the lock?"

"Because you're a mercenary. You're known. And the gangs have probably been told you're working with Kaz. We can't risk it." Inej whispered back. She watched as people ran out of the gambling hall, many wailing. Harmless smoke poured out of the open doors. She heard a creak from above her. She looked up to see Wylan, gesturing frantically. Marli nudged Inej and grasped the girls coat. She quickly jumped, her free hand raised, and tossed Inej gently through the window before landing on the ground below. She jumped again, landing on the sill and scampering through. Inej was already leafing through the papers on Rollins's desk. Marli started sorting through the files in a shelf on the wall. Wylan was standing in the middle of the room, watching them work.

"Why are you just standing there?" Marli asked impatiently. "Help. We don't have long."

Wylan's face turned pink, and he avoided her gaze. "I can't read."

"Oh. Well then. Just stand there, I guess." She wasn't trying to be rude, but they were short on time. They had gone over what came next before Wylan had entered. Once they had an address, Marli would get Inej and Wylan out through the window, lock it, leave the office, locking the door behind her, and get out through the doors. She would give the keys to Kaz, so he could place them back in Rollins's pocket.

"Found it." Inej said. She read off an address outside the city.

"Good. Out." She pointed to the window. Inej hung herself over the sill, looking for anyone watching. Apparently no one was, because she glanced at Marli.

"Okay."

Marli walked over, raising her hands. Inej slid out the window. Marli used the air to slow her fall, and she dropped to the ground below, diving into their hiding place. Wylan looked unsure, but he walked over. They both spun as footsteps sounded quickly outside the doo. Someone checking everything was locked before leaving the building. Marli used one hand to keep the door closed and the knob unmoving as someone tried it from the other side, and the other to throw Wylan out the window. She tried to soften his landing as best she could.

Whoever it was left, apparently satisfied. Marli lowered her hands, and rushed to close and lock the window with the keys. She quickly surveyed the office, making sure everything was in its proper place. She moved a paper five centimetres to the left, than raced on silent feet to the door. She opened it slowly, carefully peeking out. No one was there. She hurriedly exited, locked the door, and sped down the stairs, through the gambling hall, out the side door, and to their meeting place. To anyone who had seen her, she would have been a large coloured blur.

She found everyone huddled in an alley, Wylan wincing with scrapes all along his hand. He must have hit the ground on his hands on his knees. "Sorry." She said. Wylan nodded.

She handed the keys to Kaz. "Go work your magic." He disappeared into the crowd, heading towards Rollins, who was standing at the edge of the crowd, red faced. She felt a surge of hate. This was the man who had killed Jordie. She would have liked nothing better than to walk up to him and slowly choke him to death, but revenge would be sweeter if she waited. She could take out him, and his gang, all at the same time. She didn't particularly about the other gangs, just wanted them off her back. And, if she was being honest, for them to leave these people alone too. They had become kind of friends. Marli hadn't made a lot of friends in this city, but the ones she had, she stuck with.

Kaz returned to them, limping hard. She hadn't even seen him close to Rollins. "Where is he?" He asked. Inej listed off the address, and Kaz grinned. "Good. We go tonight, around midnight. Kid'll be sleeping then." Marli shivered internally at the grin. They were about to kidnap a young boy, and hold him as leverage. This wasn't just shady, it was downright jail for life illegal. Nothing new, then. Even in the teeny chance that this actually worked, there was nothing saying that Rollins wouldn't turn back and kill them all, once he had his son back. Nothing but his word, and Marli didn't trust that very much. This was a play for time, not a proper plan. They headed through the streets towards first harbour, no one saying a word.


	38. Jesper If I Took Breaks, We'd Be Dead

**Jesper**

Jesper walked beside Kaz, up the tunnel to the old tower. He watched as Kaz surreptitiously placed his hand against the wall, wincing. "Kaz, you need to give yourself a break." Nina said quietly. She was walking on Jesper's left. The others had already reached the tower.

Kaz glared at her. "If I took breaks, we'd all be dead." He had a point there. Nina strode over and stood in front of him, forcing him to stop. "What?" He growled. Nina responded by placing her palm flat against his shirt, where his bullet wound was. Kaz gasped and half doubled over.

"When we get back, you're sitting down, and you're not getting up until I say so. Understand?" Kaz gave her his coldest shark glare. Nina just glared back, refusing to move. "Understand?" Kaz blew out a breath and nodded, looking reluctant. "If you keep going, you're going to hurt yourself." Nina said in a gentler voice. Kaz scowled. Jesper felt a wave of guilt. Kaz had been trying to go after him when he was shot. This was his fault.

"Get that look off your face _now_." Kaz snarled. "This is not your fault." Jesper nodded, not feeling any better. They continued up the damp stone steps, Jesper's ribs aching. They went to the stone room, picking their way through the Dregs. Inej, Anika, Wylan, and Marli were already there, standing against the walls. Jesper felt a fierce pride and affection when he looked at Wylan. The merchling had actually pulled it off. Jesper stood beside him, the fingers of his good hand intertwining with Wylan's. Nina pointed at the floor, and Kaz obediently sat, scowling.

Wylan nudged him. "Is Kaz okay?" He whispered.

"Stop whispering." Kaz snapped irritably.

Wylan lowered his voice. "Is he?"

Jesper shrugged. "Why?"

"Because Nina just told him to sit, and he listened. And because I offered him help, and he took it. It doesn't look like he's in pain, but he has to be. A bullet wound and a bad leg cannot be a pleasant combination."

Jesper shrugged again. Why was the merchling suddenly so concerned? "Wylan, Kaz could be in agony, and he wouldn't say a word. You never know how he's feeling." Nina stood.

"I'll be right back. Kaz, don't you dare move." Jesper watched with concern as Kaz actually listened, leaning back against the wall. Jesper sat down, intending to get some sleep before tonight. They had young children to kidnap. Wylan laid down beside him, snuggling against him. The merchling was asleep within minutes. Inej curled up facing the wall. Jesper spotted Kaz watching her with an emotion Jesper couldn't quite place. Marli and Anika followed suite, lying down. Jesper felt himself falling asleep, too. The last thing he saw was Wylan's sleeping face, his red gold curls in his eyes.

 **Only one more chapter to go before we get to meet Alby! So excited!**


	39. Nina Advice

**Next chapter Alby! So excited!**

 **Nina**

She walked back into the room to find everyone asleep, save Kaz. Kaz was hunched against the wall, eyes shut. "Kaz?" She asked quietly. His eyes opened slowly. Nina made an executive decision. "Take off your shirt."

Kaz blinked. "What? Why?"

"So I can change the bandages on your bullet wound?"

Nina went to find her bag as Kaz slowly and stiffly pulled off his shirt. She frowned. The bandages she had made out Wylan's shirt hadn't done much good. Blood had leaked through, turning the fabric a rusty brown. Some of the blood was fresher. Nina cursed inwardly. She should have checked this earlier.

She strode over, and began to unwind the bandages. The bullet was dark and small, with blood occasionally oozing out. She took a clean cloth from her bag, folded it up, and pressed it to the wound. Kaz started and took a shaky breath. His gloved fingers formed fists. She looked up and met his eyes. They were bright with pain. This had been hurting him more than he had let on. She fished clean bandages out of her bag, and began wrapping it. Kaz closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose. She tightened it, and Kaz let out a little squeak. "Sorry." She said, meaning it.

"Whatever." He muttered.

"So how are you and Inej?"

Kaz's eyes snapped open. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, please, Kaz. Give me a break." It was having the intended effect, he seemed to have forgotten his pain.

Kaz avoided her gaze. "Is it really that obvious?" He asked quietly.

"To me. The rest of them seem blind." She huffed. "It was fun waking you up this morning." Kaz's face pinked slightly. She had found the two of them in each others arms, dead to the world. No one else had been awake. Kaz had woken up slowly, then darted upwards, an almost guilty look on his face. Inej had been much the same. "Do you care about her?"

He didn't hesitate. "Yes." Then froze, a confused look on his face.

"Want some advice?"

"Okay." He said carefully.

"Tell her that. You never know how long you have until it's over." She thought of Matthias. She finished tying off the bandages. "You wait to tell her, and it'll be too late." Kaz looked sad. "Also, you so much as stand her up for dinner, and I'll send my army of the dead after you." She winked.

Kaz laughed quietly."You don't have to worry about that." Surprisingly, she believed him. He moved his bad leg and winced.

"May I?" She asked, gesturing to his leg. He hesitantly nodded, looking curious. She placed a hand on his leg. She could no longer sense living tissue, but she could still tailor. She felt the broken, precariously healed bone in his leg, the way it wasn't lined up right. The bone must not have set properly. It had been refractured, recently. She did her best to heal it, trying to line it up better, but she couldn't fix what had already healed. She though she had done a little, though, enough that it wouldn't hurt him as much. _If I had my power, I could do more._ Strange, he had never let her this close to him before. Over the last few months, she had noticed a change in Kaz, starting slow, and gaining momentum. Maybe she had Inej to thank for that. "There." She said, pulling back. Barely perceptibly, Kaz relaxed.

"Thanks." He said quietly.

"Mmm. By the way, you need to thank Marli. She saved your life."

"I'll do that." Nina got up and walked to the other side of the room. She curled up next to Inej, and almost jumped when she saw that the Suli girl's eyes were open. Inej slowly and silently raised a finger to her lips, a small smile playing on her face.


	40. Inej Alby

**EEE! Hope you all like my version of Alby!**

She sat in the bushes, waiting. Her entire body felt light as a feather. _Do you care about her? Yes._ She hadn't yet told Kaz she had overheard him and Nina's conversation. She just hoped one day he would be able to say it to her face. She silently shifted to a more comfortable position. They had all sleot a few hours, waking around eight bells and making their way to the house. It was south of the city, well defended, with a wide, open lawn around it. There was no way anyone could sneak in on foot, which was where Marli came in. Inej registered a shadow leaping from somewhere behind her, blotting out the stars briefly before landing next to her. Marli turned her head and looked at her, blue eyes gleaming. "Ready?"

"Ready."

Marli put her arm around her waist and jumped again, this time landing on the roof of the house. They landed with a dull thump. Inej pulled her bonelight out of her pocket, waving it twice before putting it away. Five other answered. Marli and Inej crept to the edge of the roof. Inej swung down onto the sill, peering inside. Three guards, all with guns. A loud bang came from the other side of the house. Two went to investigate, the other still standing watch. Well trained. Inej made room for Marli on the sill. Inej quickly picked the lock, thankful that this one was easier than the locks at the Slat had been. She felt a pang remembering what had happened to the Slat.

Marli reached out and threw open the window. She raised her hand as the guard raised his gun and opened his mouth to yell Two things happened. The gun was ripped by a gust of wind out of his hands, and the guard collapsed, trying and failing to draw breath like a fish out of unsheathed her knives, and stabbed the man as they walked past. They dealt with the other two guards in a similar fashion, before making their way downstairs. They split up, searching rooms. A quickly cut off yelp let her know Marli had found a victim. Inej walked silently into a room, stopping dead when she felt the cold metal of a gun barrel on the back of her head. "Stay right where you are." A deep voice demanded. The same voice gave a squeal, and the gun dropped from her head. Inej whipped around, knives raised, and came face to face with Kaz, holding a bloddy knife. The guard was on the ground between them.

"Got your back, Wraith." She felt a rush of gratitude as he strode from the room. She wondered what exactly Nina had done to his leg, it seemed a little better.

She followed Kaz. A guard rushed out a room, Kaz casually stabbing him and stepping over the body. Anika emerged from a room down the hall, the lead pipe she had brought at her side. "I think that's all of them." She panted.

"Good." Kaz said. They met up with the others, and started back upstairs. They checked rooms, finally reaching Alby's room. The room was carpeted in toys and books spread haphazardly on the floor. The little red haired boy was sitting up, eyes wide and panicked. Inej sighed inwardly. This would go better if he came willingly.

She stepped forward, and the boy flinched. "Hello, Alby." She said, keeping her tone soft and measured. Alby looked at her with big grey eyes.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Inej. We need you to come with us, okay?"

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I said so?" Alby fell silent. She reached out and took his hand. He allowed himself to be led out of the room, pausing to pick up a stuffed lion. He tucked it under his arm, and popped his thumb in his mouth. He couldn't have been more than four or five. Kaz paused to leave the note he had written on the table in the large kitchen. He glanced at Alby, and Inej felt unnerved by the dark look in eyes, even though he had promised not to hurt him. She grabbed a small coat, and Alby pulled it on. The night was cool, even though it was almost summer. Alby took her hand again, and walked with them out of the house.

Inej looked down at the small form lying asleep in her lap. Alby had fallen asleep sometime on the boat ride from first harbour to Hellgate, and she had carried him in. They all sat in the stone room, waiting for news on how Rollins would respond. Alby stirred, sitting up, his dark red hair tousled. He looked around. "Where am I?"

"On an island, near Ketterdam." She told him.

"Who are you all?" He asked curiously.

She pointed to each of them in turn. "That's Wylan, Jesper, Nina, Marli, Anika, and Kaz." She really shouldn't be giving him information, but she felt this would go better if he was kept calm. Alby had gone quiet. He was staring at Kaz, who was staring back,eyes blank.

"Kaz Brekker?"The boy asked suddenly.

Kaz's eyes narrowed. "Yes?" He said slowly.

"My Da talks about you a lot. He hates you." Alby said, matter of factly.

"Well, I hate him too."

"He calls you a lot of bad words that I'm not supposed to say."

"Does he."

"Yep. He says you're bad."

"Your fathers not exactly a saint either."

"My Da said you would try to hurt me if you found me." Alby said quietly.

Kaz looked like he was seriously considering it. "No." He said finally. Inej let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"Why not?"

His gaze strayed to her. "Because I made a promise." She smiled, and he reluctantly smiled back.

Alby was turning from him to her. "Are you boyfriend and girlfriend" He asked abruptly.

"What?" Kaz choked.

"No, we are not." She told Alby firmly, fighting the urge to burst out laughing at the look on Kaz's face. Jesper apparently had no such reservations. Nina soon joined Jesper on the floor, tears pouring down their faces. Soon Anika, Marli and Wylan were laughing too. Inej grinned. Kaz looked confused, but then slowly smiled. _Do you care about her? Yes._ Hope felt like small bird, nestled behind her breast. Hope for them, hope for Kaz.

Once they had all quieted down, Alby surveyed Kaz. "You don't seem bad."

"Trust me, kid. I am."

Alby glanced around the room. "I like you." Inej smiled sadly. The kid really had no clue that he was in a room with some of the most dangerous people in Ketterdam, one of which had to be convinced not to hurt him. Alby probably didn't even realize he was in trouble. Inej though of the note they had left. _Back off, or Alby learns the true meaning of six feet under. You have a week._ She remembered Kaz telling Pekka that he had buried his son, Pekka's fear. This would certainly get a reaction.

Alby tugged on her sleeve. "I'm hungry." Anika brought out a few crackers that had been bought. Alby ate them slowly, watching them all with wide grey eyes. She had thought Rollins' son would be conceited and spoiled, but that didn't seem to be the case. As if to prove a point, Alby turned around and offered a cracker. She took it, eating slowly. She wondered if someday, many years from now, she might want her own children. She'd teach them to walk as silently as shadows, fly like birds. She glanced at Kaz, and hope surged again. Maybe he would want children someday too. Someone he could show magic tricks to, someone he could teach to be as proud and as strong as he was. She hoped so. Rotty rushed in.

"News." Alby paused from slowly devouring his crackers, and looked up. "Rollins has gone insane. Lots of noise from the Kaelish Prince, and their hide out in the Warehouse district. Roeder couldn't get much, but they haven't agreed to a decision yet. Kaz nodded, and Rotty left, not before waving at Nina. She waved back Apparently Rotty had made a friend on the way to Fjerda and back.

"So what now?" She asked.

"We wait till the week is up." Kaz answered.

"And then?"

"Not a clue." Kaz got up and limped out of the room. Inej stood up, placing Alby on his feet.

"Go see Nina." She said kindly. She followed Kaz, out of the tower and onto the beach, where they had sat a few days ago. "Thank you." She said,

"For what?"

"For keeping your promise." He nodded. "Kaz?"

He turned to her. "Yes?"

"I was awake, yesterday, while you and Nina were talking." She felt he had a right to know what she had overheard.

He looked at her quickly, and glanced away. She couldn't tell what he was thinking. She took a deep breath. Hope fluttered. "Do you care about me?"

He took a long, slow breath. She barely heard it over the waves, as he said "Yes." She smiled, and watched him. They sat as they had a few days ago, watching the horizon turn to a lighter shade of blue. "I don't deserve you, Inej."

"You're not as bad as you think." She though of something, the way Kaz seemed almost guilty when he talked about his brother. He blamed himself, he realized ina rush. She wanted to assure him it wasn't his fault, but then again, it might have very well been. She didn't know what had happened. "Why do you blame yourself?"

"For what?"

"For what happened to Jordie."

He sighed. "No good reason." She understood. For some reason, people insisted on feeling guilty, even for things that weren't their faults. She knew she did. She gazed at the sky. Low clouds hung over them, obscuring what was left of the stars. It would be a dark, wet day. She laid back, silently l8istening to the waves beat the rocky shore. She shifted slightly, off a rock that was digging into her back.

"I'll miss you." He said suddenly.

"I'll come back, I promise." She assured him.

He looked at her darkly. "Don't make promises you might not be able to keep."

She looked away from him. "What are the chances Rollins will leave us alone?"

"Infinitesimally low. He'll want revenge."

"Then why kidnap Alby at all?"

"This buys us time, breathing space. It also has the added effect of rattling poor Pekka." Kaz didn't sound particularly concerned about Pekka's wellbeing.

"Kaz, if you had Rollins in front of you on his knees right now, what would you do?" She met his coffee brown eyes.

Kaz answered almost immediately. "Kill him, though I wouldn't bother with the gun."

"What if Alby was watching?"

Kaz took ore time to answer that one. " Shoot him in the head. Quickly. The kid doesn't need to see his father tortured, even if it is Rollins." He laid down next to her, stretching out on the rocks. He picked one up, tossing it into the water with a small splash. He picked another rock up,intending to throw it, but Inej snagged his wrist. He put the rock down, holding her hand. She turned her head towards him. His eyes were closed, his face relaxed. he looked peaceful. She attempted to calm her own mind, thinking of her parents, which only lead to thinking about what would happen when they found out about Kaz. She shut her eyes and breathed deeply. She would cross that bridge when she came to it.

It started to rain, the water coming down in fat droplets. Kaz and Inej got up, making their way quickly towards shelter. Kaz paused and looked back at the rising storm, the dark clouds reflected in his eyes. "Storms are good." He commented.

"How?"

"Marli can use the already strong wind to her advantage without much energy. This could be useful."

"How do you know so much about her?"

Kaz walked further down the tunnel. "She used to be my friend. I know a lot about her." Inej felt the first faint stirrings of jealousy, which she immediately quenched. There was no reason to be jealous. They had been friends, just friends. They walked back in silence.


	41. Wylan Grisha

**Sooo. Things are going to move fast from here on in. People are going to get hurt. Namely Kaz. Because obviously I haven't tortured him enough in this story, right?**

 **Wylan**

He watched the young boy. Alby didn't seem concerned in the least that he had been kidnapped and taken to a damp stone room, with some of the most dangerous people in the city. Kaz and Inej walked back into the room.

"It's started to storm." Kaz said, looking at Marli. The small girl rubbed her hands together, grinning evilly.

"Good. That'll be useful."

"In what way?" Anika asked.

Marli shrugged. "I work better in bad weather."

"Could you deflect bullets with your power?" Wylan asked. He was genuinely curious, he had never met anyone like this girl before. It seemed logical that she could use the wind as a shield.

"Yes, probably, but a Fabrikator would be better. And it's not like we've got on of them just sitting around." Dead silence. Every eyes in the room, except Anika and Marli's found Jesper's face. "You've got to be kidding me. Really?" Jesper raised a hand and waved, looking miserable. "Huh. All right, then. Anyone else have any special powers to acknowledge?"

Anika looked shocked. "Jesper?"

Jesper looked at her warningly. "Keep this quiet." She nodded.

Alby crawled over to him. "You're a Fabrikator?" Wylan winced. If even a word of what they were discussing here got back to Rollins...

"A little." Jesper grudgingly admitted. Alby took his hands, palms facing outward. He examined them.

"You don't look different."

"Not on the outside."

"Do your inside look different?" Alby said curiously, peering at his face as if he could see the inside of Jesper through his eyes.

"Not that I know of. Maybe."

"Do you like being Grisha?"

Wylan squeezed Jesper's arm supportingly. He knew that was a hard question for the sharpshooter to answer. Wylan wondered if Jesper even knew what he thought. "I don't know." He said carefully. "I'm not a very powerful one. And I've been hiding it most of my life."

Alby looked confused. "Why do you hide?"

Jesper seemed to choose his next words carefully. "There are certain people who don't like Grisha, who want to hurt us."

"You're afraid of them?"

Jesper hesitated a moment. "Yes."

"Are the other Grisha afraid?"

"Some are. Some hide, like me. Some choose to make their power public. Some even fight against the people who want to hurt us. They're the brave ones."

Alby turned towards Marli. "Are you a Grisha too?"

She smiled. "Yes."

"What do you do?"

"I control wind, and storms."

"Are you afraid of the people?"

Marli's eyes hardened. "Not as much as I used to be."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm powerful. And if they ever come for me, they'd better pray they don't miss."

"Why don't you hide?"

She looked at him, her eyes a confusion of sadness and anger. "What would that solve?"

"Jesper hides."

"Jesper can't really fight. Fabrikators usually work in workshops."

"Hey!" Jesper snapped.

"What? It's true. Your power isn't really useful in combat, unless you're directing bullets. In which case you need a gun.

"She has a point, Jes." Wylan said quietly. "No offence."

Jesper was about to say something, probably rude, when Rotty burst in. "Kaz!"

"What?" Kaz said, sounding mildly annoyed.

"They have Roeder."

Rotty now had Kaz's full attention. "Explain."

Rotty took a deep breath. "Roeder was spying, like you said. Pim was with him. They were heading back to first harbour to come here, and the Dime Lions caught Roeder. Last Pim saw, they were dragging him off to hell knows where."

Kaz swore. "We need to find him. He knows exactly where we are."


	42. Anika Up to Us

So, here were are. I'm back. I always thought that Anika never got enough credit. She's Kaz's right hand girl, and we don't even know her last name. Maybe I'll write a fic about her someday.

 **Anika**

Anika crouched on the roof near the house where they had found Jesper, Marli, Inej, and Nina by her side. Kaz had split them and a few other members of the Dregs into teams, to search for Roeder. Anika was getting extremely tired of all the hostage taking. She wasn't very close with Roeder, he was just a guy she could have a drink with or a hand of cards, but Anika supported going after him all the same. They were friends, or as close as people go to being friends in the Barrel. Not that Kaz cared if she supported his decisions. Or maybe he did, she had no idea what went on in that strange mind of his.

Marli shifted impatiently beside her, sharp blue eyes gleaming. The sky was dark overhead, thunder rumbling in the distance. A light mist rained down, glancing off the shingles. A last storm before summer began. Beyond Marli sat Inej, still as a statue, dark eyes calm. Nina crouched on her other side, tapping her fingers restlessly. They had been sitting there, observing, for about half an hour.

After a few minutes, Inej stood. "Let's go." Marli took a silent flying leap from the rooftop, landing on the ground below. Anika rolled her eyes and began to slide down the drainpipe, Inej and Nina following. Anika climbed onto a bucket, peering into a window. The others crowded next to her. Nothing could be seen. They moved to the next window, and the next, seeing nothing. Eventually, they proceeded cautiously into the house, Anika tapping her lead pipe on her leg. She had a knife hidden up her sleeve and brass knuckles in her pocket, as backup, but she preferred the pipe. It felt solid, the prefect weight for breaking bones. Nothing. They searched every room, every spot where someone might hide. Nothing. The house was empty. They began the walk back to first harbour, where Kaz had told them to meet. Anika heard a faint scream, and they all sped up. They whipped around a corner, bringing them to a spot overlooking the harbour, and gasped as one. The harbour was swarming with people, fighting. Knives flashed, a few guns went off. People shouted. Anika picked out a few members of the Dregs in the centre of the fight, looking desperate. She glimpsed Kaz swinging his cane, catching a member of the Razorgulls upside the head with a dull thwack. Jesper was next to him, arm freed of his sling, shooting those pearl handled revolvers. Wylan was nearby, caught in a very one-sided fist fight with a gigantic Harley's Pointer. Nina's hand flew to her mouth as Wylan was dropped by a punch to the gut. Jesper howled and swung his guns around, almost immediately plowed over by a Dime Lion. Jesper staggered to his feet, and suddenly ducked. Anika saw Kaz swing his cane over Jesper's ducked head, firmly connecting with the Dime Lions jaw. Teeth flew. They were rapidly being pushed back, surrounded by enemies. Anika's heat lurched as Pim was nearly shot in the head. Fifteen Dregs, against forty other assorted gang members. "We have to help them." Marli said, slack jawed.

They started forward, and stopped, horrified, as Kaz turned to help Wylan and was tackled from two different directions. She could hear the sound as his head hit the stones. He went down, hard. Anika heard Inej gasp. This could not be happening.

The Dregs were a pushover after that. All it took was one shove to get Wylan on his knees. Kaz was hauled up by the back of his coat, clearly unconscious. Jesper was forced to the ground by a burly Black Tip. The other were all similarly brought down, weapons confiscated. How had this happened? Did they know that all of the other Dregs were on Hellgate? Had Roeder let that slip? Anika was staring at the scene below when Nina grasped her elbow, pulling her back slightly. She watched, and gasped sharply when she saw that Kaz was watching her, eyes barely open. The two who had tackled him dragged him to his feet. "Kaz." Inej whispered. Kaz raised a hand slightly, signalling them. He was doing something strange with his hand. Pointing up, raising two fingers, then pointing to them. Pointing up, two fingers, them. Anika finally got it. Up. Two. To. You.

"Up to us." Marli muttered. "I'm going to kill him."


	43. Kaz Screw You

I'm back! Sorry this chapter is so short, I had a new idea for a fanfic and it's literally taking all of my time.

 **Kaz**

Kaz fought to stay conscious as he was dragged through the streets, his leg and midsection agony. The pounding in his head and the fact that someone had their hands on him wasn't helping. He hoped the girls understood. The gangs were probably heading to Hellgate right now, and they were the only hope they had of getting out of this alive. Kaz was in no shape to stand, much less plan. His arms were wrenched behind his back, and chains were wrapped around his wrists. The person holding him let go, and Kaz fell, his vision darkening. Someone caught him, putting an arm around his waist. Kaz forced his eyes open, and saw Jesper half carrying him, being forced on by the gangs. He glanced around, seeing the other people he had brought to search for Roeder in similar straits. Jesper poked him in the side, and Kaz squeezed his eyes shut, narrowly avoiding howling with pain. But Saints, did he want to. "Kaz, stay awake. We need you. We've got no one else."

"Marli. Anika. Inej. Nina. Still out there." He managed to whisper.

Jesper glanced at him quickly, his eyes shining. "A powerful Squaller, a hardened member of the Dregs, the Wraith, and the queen of the dead? Best news I've heard all day." He frowned. "How did they find us?"

"Figured we'd come for Roeder. Probably waiting at all harbours. My head hurt." He realized he was slightly slurring his words. He most likely had a concussion from those two assholes landing on him. "I should have seen this coming." How had he not seen this coming? Jesper held him tighter, looking worried.

"You're going to be all right." A blow from behind knocked them both to their knees.

"Stop chatting." Kaz caught himself on his knees, almost screaming.

"Well, this is a day to remember. Kaz Brekker on his knees." Kaz slowly raised his head, seeing Geels standing above him, a gloating expression on his face. The light rain increased, thunder rumbling. The storm was getting closer. A fragmented memory of Marli, standing on the roof of her house, arguing with her father in the pouring rain.

"You think you're so big?" She had yelled. "You look real small from up here!"

"Get down here, now!"

"Screw you!"

"Screw you." He muttered, returning his gaze to the wet stones. He though of Inej, of her terrified face as she looked down at him. The look on all four girls faces. He cared about all of them, each in different ways. Nina was a good...good friend. She was his friend. He could finally admit that to himself. Marli had been his best friend, and he hoped he hadn't brought things to the point where they couldn't be that way anymore. It hurt every time she said "used to." He had come to rely on Anika as a valuable and loyal member of the Dregs. He should start going to parties more often, it seemed to mean so much to her. And Inej... He wasn't sure how he felt about Inej. Well, he was, but he couldn't even get the words out. Three stupid little words that meant so much. He cared for her, so deeply that it scared him. He was shocked out of his thoughts when Geels grabbed him by the front of his shirt, pulling him level.

"You think you're still in control, Brekker? Think again. _You're_ screwed. Not me. You. Rollins is going to be very happy to see you." Geels dropped him and continued on. Kaz tried to get up and found he couldn't. Jesper hauled him up again, trying his best to be gentle and failing miserably.

"Wylan." Jesper said quietly.

Kaz felt another person on his right, supporting him. His last thought before he finally lost consciousness was gratitude, and a healthy dose of fear. Could anyone help them now?


	44. Jesper Fish In A Shark Tank

**Jesper**

Jesper and Wylan dragged a now unconscious Kaz through the streets, soaked and shivering. They finally stepped in front of a warehouse, and were led through the doors. They and the others were pushed into a corner of the empty space, several doors lining the other side, supposedly leading to offices. Jesper slowly lowered Kaz to the ground. Wylan sat next to him, effectively shielding Kaz from view. No need to give their guards a reason to be even nastier.

Jesper glanced back at him. His eyes were closed, his breathing shallow. His face was paler than normal. He had taken a nasty hit to the head when those two guys had jumped him, and his leg and bullet wound had done the rest. Jesper was surprised he had been conscious at all. "What can we do?" Pim whispered.

"Nothing." Jesper answered. Nothing. They could do nothing. All their lives rested with four kickass girls, somewhere in the city. Pekka Rollins marched out of one of the side doors, grinning at their pathetic huddle. A shiver ran through all of them, a signal of danger none of them could follow, not unlike fish in a shark tank. The warehouse doors opened again, more members f the various gangs pouring in. Behind them, were the Dregs. Without ceremony, they were forced into the group already on the ground. Most had their hands bound. There were moans of dismay as the newcomers saw Kaz. A newer member of the Dregs, Layna, sat next to Jesper.

"What's happening?" She whispered. The girl was a gifted lockpick, but was still quite young. _She shouldn't be here._ Jesper thought.

"They're rounding us up." _Like cattle._ He decided not to add that last part. No need to panic Layna more than she already was.

"To kill us?"

"Eventually." After they tortured the bank account numbers out of him, Wylan, Nina, Kaz, and Inej. And got their territory back. Layna quivered worse than ever.

"What's wrong with Brekker?" She asked quietly.

"He's hurt. Fight at the docks."

Jesper was distracted as another guard came in, leading Alby Rollins by the arm. Alby broke free and dashed toward his father. "Da!"

"Alby! Are you alright?" Rollins asked, the smug grin replaced with concern. _How can he bear to look the kid in the eye?_ "Did they hurt you?"

Alby shook his head. "Why would they hurt me? I like them." Rollins turned and gave the Dregs a glare to rival Kaz's shark stare. He turned away from his son and go into an animated discussion with a Dime Lion. Alby turned towards them, and caught on jesper's face. He ran towards him.

Jesper frantically tried to signal to the boy to turn around and go back, but Alby kept coming. "Jesper!" The red headed boy squealed. "Wylan!" Layna gave both of them a strange look. Alby began to say something more, but stopped when he saw Kaz. He walked past Jesper, and sat beside Kaz, laying a small starfish hand on Kaz's chest, He looked back at Jesper and Wylan, grey eyes wide. "Is he okay?"

Jesper pursed his lips and moved beside him. "No. He's not."

"Is he going to die?" Alby asked quietly.

Jesper shook his head. "No, he's not going to die. But he's not going to feel well for a while." He was startled to see Alby crying. It struck him suddenly how odd this situation was. A small boy crying over his fathers greatest enemy.

Kaz's eyes opened slightly."Alby?" he rasped. "What the..."

"Hi, Kaz."

"Alby, what are you doing here?" He tried to sit up, and winced in pain, lying back down.

"I came to say hello."

Kaz took in the situation with a glance. "Go. You need to go back to your father."

Alby looked sad and confused. "Why?"

"Because if he sees you here he'll hurt us."

Jesper glanced behind them, and realized it was already too late. Rollins was striding towards them, livid. Rollins pulled his son out of the way, and grabbed Kaz by his coat, pinning him to the wall. Kaz howled. Pekka got right into his face, eyes wild. "You piece of shit. You _dare_ to kidnap my son, threaten his safety, humiliate me? I will bring you to your knees, Brekker, assuming you aren't there already. Are you?" Everyone was watching dropped Kaz, and he crumpled to his knees. Jesper thought that was it, but then Kaz looked up. His expression was pure, black, long simmering, hate. Jesper suddenly understood what people meant about revenge eating people alive. Whoever Kaz had been before Pekka had killed his brother was either dead or tucked in some unused portion of Kaz's brain. And Jesper refused to believe the first option. He got up, shaking slightly, bracing himself against the wall, but standing.

"The day I kneel to you will be the day I die." Jesper saw smiles, pride on the faces of the Dregs behind him. Pekka shook his head, walked back a few paces, then reared back and punched Kaz in the face. Kaz collapsed, head smacking against the wall with a nasty crack. Immediately, there was an uproar amongst the Dregs, but no one was louder than Alby.

"Da! Don't!" Rollins ignored him, going to hit Kaz again. He was forced to stop when Alb7y dived in front of Kaz, shielding him. "Don't!"

"Get out of the way, Alby."

"No."

" _Now_."

"Why do you want to hurt them?" Alby asked.

"Because they are a bunch of canal rats, thieves, and murderers." _Says you._ "Get out of the way."

Alby held his ground, eyes filled with tears. _What is the kid doing?_ Jesper was surprised when Kaz spoke. How the hell was he still conscious? "Move, Alby."

"Why?"

"This is between me and your father. Thank you for trying to help. But move."

Alby reluctantly shifted out of the way, leaving Rollins a clear run to Kaz. Both Jesper and Wylan jumped to their feet, ready to try and help him. To Jesper's surprise, the rest of the Dregs followed. Maybe they felt they owed Kaz this. Or maybe they felt ashamed that they had been one upped by a five year old. Pekka stopped, hate burning in his eyes. He turned around, dragging Alby after him. Kaz let out a deep breath. The Dregs sat, moment of loyalty over. Jesper sat as well, wrapping his arms around Wylan. The merchling put his head on Jesper's chest. There was nothing to do now but wait, and hope.


	45. Marli Claustrophobic

**I'm baaaaaack! Just so you know, people who want Marli/Kaz (I doubt there's many of you) NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Kanej all the way.**

 **Marli**

The four followed the group through the pouring rain, hopscotching to avoid the puddles that would attract attention, Marli wishing she could use her power to help Kaz, Wylan and Jesper. But that would instantly give them away, and they had to stay free. If Rollins got the other Dregs at Hellgate, they would be the only people who could rescue them. _Up to you_. They hid behind a wall, and saw the group shoved into a warehouse, packed with members of the other gangs. Nina turned to them, her face grim. "Are all of us absolutely sure we want to do this?" Part of her knew she could just run away, all of them could. They had the skills to get far far away from this city, to never be found. But that would be leaving Kaz and the others to torture and death. And even though her years as a mercenary had hardened her heart and mind, she couldn't leave them.

"I'm in." She replied, lifting her chin. She would see Pekka Rollins destroyed.

"Of course." Inej said, dark eyes hard.

"I'm not leaving." Anika answered, pulling her yellow hair back into a ponytail.

"Then it's decided. We have to rescue theses idiots." Nina sighed heavily. Six guards were standing in front of the warehouse, all with rifles.

"There's no way we can get everyone out at once." Anika said, peering around the wall.

"So who do we need to rescue the others?" Nina asked thoughtfully, pulling a knife out of her pocket and cleaning it.

Marli thought. They would only be able to get a few people. "A planner. Someone who can figure this out better than we can." Inej smiled. "A sharpshooter would be nice, especially if they possessed a few hidden talents. A demo expert would be useful. I think we could work with that, don't you?" They agreed, and tried to figure out how to make it happen.

They sat on a roof, sheltered from the rain, around the block from the warehouse, shooting off ideas. "This is what Kaz is for." Nina groaned. "Anyone have food?"

Marli sighed and reached into her climbing bag. She had toffees in there somewhere. She opened the toffee bag and set in the middle of the bag and set it in the middle of the group, where Nina promptly pounced on it. The girl was a serious chocoholic. She was also right, this was Kaz's area of expertise. They just carried the plans out. Marli sat against a chimney, slowly chewing a toffee. Thunder rumbled, much closer now, and lightning flashed on the horizon. Wind had picked up, whipping through the crooked streets. The sea was probably rough. And Marli was in her element. All she wanted to do was go jump rooftops, using the already strong wind to her advantage. She crackled with energy. By contrast, Inej was a statue. Only her fingers moved, tapping out some unheard melody. Suddenly, even they went still.

"Scheming face." Nina whispered, popping her fourth toffee in her mouth.

Inej's head suddenly snapped up. "Marli."

"Yeah?" Marli answered carefully, stretching out her legs.

"Could you fly? And don't say anything about controlled falling or whatever."

Marli thought for a moment. The wind was already there, if she could harness it, she might... She stood, and concentrated, closing her eyes. She barely noticed when her feet left the ground. She opened her eyes, seeing she was floating twenty feet up. The others were staring, eyes wide. "Yeah. I think I can fly."

"Are you _sure_ you're not on parem?" Nina asked, toffees forgotten.

"Honey, I was born this way. Get used to it." She dropped, lightening her fall and taking her place against the chimney. "What do you need me to do?"

"All warehouses have a ventilation system. Which means vents. Easiest way to get inside." Inej answered.

"How will you know where to go?" Anika asked.

"I've studied the vent systems in warehouses. They're all the same."

They ran to the back of the warehouse next to the one, Anika almost going around the corner before Nina hauled her back. "Look.: NIna whispered. Guards were patrolling the sides, too, not seeing them in the shadows, but they would be spotted if they stepped out.

Inej pointed up. Marli looked up and saw a medium sized vent halfway up the wall, grill covered with a padlock securing it in place. "Marli." Inej handed Marli a set of picks. She had learned to pick locks the first yea she had been in the city, and practiced until she was good as any Barrel boss. Marli concentrated, flying up and over the unsuspecting guards, hovering with no little effort in front of the padlock. She quickly picked it, and with the help of her powers, pulled the vent out of the wall. She placed it onto the roof, thunder and rain masking the sound. She peered into the dark opening. Her and Inej might fit, but it would be tight. Nina and Anika would never make it.

She returned to the shadows and told the others. Inej nodded. "Let's go. No mourners."

"No funerals." The other two replied, hunching against the wall to watch.

"What does that mean?" Marli asked curiously.

"It's what passes for good luck in this Saintsforsaken place." Nine said. "Or a nod to the fact that if we die, nobody will give a shit." _That is my entire life._

Marli gripped the back of the Suli girls coat, whipping up to the opening. Inej crawled in, wriggling on her elbows. Marli went to follow, then hesitated. "Come on." Inej whispered. Marli dove in behind her.

The effect was instant and paralyzing. Her back was against the ceiling, pressing her down. She could barely move. She felt her breathing getting quicker, more panicked. There was no moving air in here, she couldn't hear the storm outside. She whimpered. "Marli?" Inej turned her head, looking back. "What- you're claustrophobic, aren't you?" Marli nodded silently, hyper aware of the fact that the vents walls were pressing into her sides. She wanted to scream. "Well, it makes sense that you would be. You're fine. You're okay."

"I can't breathe..."

"Yes you can." Inej's voice was calm but firm. "That's just your mind playing trick on you. You have more than enough air."

Marli swallowed, still struggling to breathe. Inej looked forward. "We have to keep moving. Just keep moving, Marli." _Just keep moving._ That had been her motto for years. Just keep moving, don't get attached. Too late, in this case. She breathed deeply, and followed Inej.

The vent was hell, pure and simple. The course they were taking was not a straight line, and Marli had to try and turn after Inej, head banging repeatedly off the wall until she forced herself to bend enough to get around the ninety degree angle. "We have to get lower." Inej grunted, stopping ahead of her.

" _What_?" Marli hissed, shivering.

"We have to go down a level. Follow me, you'll be alright." Inej shifted forward, across a downwards offshoot, then backwards, levering her legs into it and dropping. Marli closed her eyes and mumbled a prayer to Djel in her fathers language, something she hadn't done in years, then moved forwards then back.

Falling through the dark, the sides of the vent brushing her, was an experience Marli never wanted to repeat. The drop was short, and she pushed her arms and legs against the sides to stop her fall when she saw the offshoot with Inej in it. She climbed back up a few feet, arms shaking, and Inej gripped her hand, pulling her in. This section was blessedly larger than the others. "All right?"

"No." Marli squeaked. Inej squeezed her hand.

"Not much farther."

Marli quickly realized that that had been a lie. She appreciated the effort, though. The green glow of Inej's bonelight and the grey metal of the vent walls became Marli's existence. She scooted along for what was probably ten minutes, but it felt like ten hours. Finally, _finally_ , they made it.

Light filtered through the grill, and she could hear voices below. Inej tucked her bonelight away. They needed Kaz, Jesper, Wylan. "Marli."

Marli stretched her hand out in front of her. Hundreds of breaths, air swirling around people. She found where the the lanterns were, and simultaneously blew all of them out. Total darkness fell. Inej crawled forward, opening the vent, and dropping out. Marli slowed her fall, and jumped out herself. Inej took out her bonelight, and Marli located Jesper, Wylan and Kaz, sitting with the other Dregs.

Inej grasped Wylan and Jesper's sleeves, hauling them up, and Marli got Kaz to his feet. They ran,. weaving among shouting gang members. They pushed through the warehouse doors, the sound of rain hitting them. Marli breathed in the tang of ozone, feeling herself relax even as the guards started to shoot at them. Nina and Anika joined them, and they ran flat out, Marli keeping a good grip on Kaz's arm. Shots rang off the stones behind them. "We go back to the Van Eck mansion." Inej panted. They dashed through the streets, lightning overhead.

"Marli?" Kaz mumbled.

"Here."

"Thanks"

"For what?"

"Saving my life earlier. Never thanked you."

"You're very welcome." Her breath hitched a little as his gloved hand slipped into hers. It wasn't romantic, she had never had an interest in him, and never would, neither would he, but friendly. Like something he would've done before. "You okay, Kaz?"

"Sorry." He let go. As much as she was aware that they had both changed, they were no longer the person they each remembered, she couldn't help wishing for her friend back, the boy who would've taken her hand without a second thought.


	46. Inej I Love You

**Okay, this chapter contains one of the only things I was mad at Leigh Bardugo for not adding.**

 **Inej**

They burst into the house, soaking wet and shivering. Marya was running towards them. "Where have you been? I was so worried!" She enveloped Wylan in a hug, and took in Kaz, who had slid to the floor, exhausted. Someone had punched him in the face, it was already starting to bruise.

Marya knelt next to him. "Kaz?" She asked softly, mother instinct evidently kicking in. "What happened? Are you alright?" She turned to all of them. "What happened to all of you?"

"A lot of things, Mama." Wylan answered.

Marya pursed her lips, thentook control. She turned to a maid, who had been hovering behind. "Liza, get them all dry clothes, please. Wylan, get blankets for the couches in the sitting room. Everyone is sleeping there tonight. Inej, your parents are upstairs. Jesper, please help me with Kaz."

Jesper put his good arm around Kaz, lifting him up. He just stood there, head down. The Bastard of the Barrel was simply _done_. Inej wanted to help, but she had to go see her parents. She accepted dry clothes from Liza, and found her parents on a couch in a sitting room upstairs, each with a cup of tea. "Inej!" Her mother cried.

They both jumped up and tackled her in a hug, and Inej felt herself relax. "What has been going on?" Her father asked.

Inej took a deep breath. Time for the truth. All of it. "Trouble with rival gangs."

"You mean the group you belong to, the Dregs?"

"Yes. The other gangs attacked us."

"What do Wylan, Jesper, and Kaz have to do with that?"

"They're part of the Dregs. Like me."

Her father looked startled. "All of them?"

Inej sighed. "Everyone downstairs, except for Marli."

Her mothers eyes narrowed. here it came. "And Mr. Brekker?"

"You can call him Kaz, Mama."

But her mother wasn't thrown off the scent. "What part does he play in all this?"

"Have you ever heard of Dirtyhands?" That was a redundant question. Dirtyhands had a reputation that had made it across the True Sea and back.

Her fathers eyes widened. Her mother let out a small sound. "He's..."

"Yes."

"A thief, a murderer, a blackmailer, a monster." Her fathers face was stunned. "We sat across from him at dinner."

"Papa, he's not a monster." She pleaded.

"Inej, sweetheart, what are you saying? That all of the stories and rumours are made up?"

She felt like sobbing. "No."

"Then how could he possibly be good? Why are you still with him?"

Inej registered movement out of the corner of her eye. Kaz was leaning in the doorway, watching her. She couldn't interpret the expression on his face. A strange mix of hope and fear. She glanced back at her parents. "Why are you still with him?" Her father repeated. She met her fathers eyes.

"Because he rescued me from something worse than death. Because I care about him. very much." She risked a glance at Kaz. His coffee eyes were wide, his jaw slack. Shocked, surprised. She had never seen him this way before. Her parents wore similar expressions.

"You...care about him? Why?" Her mother asked. Kaz was still watching.

"I don't know, Mama. But I do. Have for a while."

"Does he care for you?"

"I think so."

"Inej, you need to separate yourself from him. You may care about him, but someone like that...I doubt they care about you."

"Mama, I've known him for almost three years. He rescued me from Tante Heleen, gave me a home and taught me to fight, to be strong. He found you and brought you here, for me. He gave me a ship, to hunt slavers. He is my family as much as anyone back home. I could never separate from him." She meant every word.

Inej looked at Kaz, and saw that he was close to crying. His coffee eyes were bright with moisture. He abruptly turned and limped away. She stood and followed, resolving to talk with her parents later. She had come too far to lose him now. She found him on the balcony overlooking the silent garden. Soft rain pattered down. Light shone in the city below. She approached cautiously. His shoulders were shaking. "Kaz?"

He spoke. Three words. Quietly, without looking back. Inej felt her heart begin to race, her skin tingling. "Say that again. Please."

He repeated it. "I love you." His voice was quiet, trembling. She clutched those words to her. She walked forward, joining him at the railing. He took a shivering breath. "Have for a while now. I didn't think it was possible...but here we are." His terrified coffee eyes hadn't strayed from the garden below. She wanted to hug him, but restrained herself, wondering if she should. She made up her mind when Kaz ducked his head, closing his eyes. He was scared she would reject him. He couldn't be more wrong. She wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him to her.

"I love you too."

He let go of the railing and folded his arms around her, shaking. She felt something warm drip onto her cheek. Inej pulled back slightly, examining his face. He was crying, tears rolling down his cheeks. She swiped a tear off with her thumb. "Why are you crying?"

"I don't know."

Inej returned her head to his chest, feeling his heartbeat. It was fast, but steady. "Don't be sad."

"I'm not. I'm _happy_. Happier than I've been in years. Saints, Inej, I don't deserve this."

Inej cupped his bruised face in her hands. "Yes, you do. Think of it as all of the missed happiness being given back to you. You can only fall for so long before you hit bottom. And then the only way to go is up."

He smiled through his tears. "You and your nonsensical platitudes."

"I'm not going to stop."

" I hope not." Kaz took another deep breath. "I've been trying to say that to you for a while."

"Why didn't you?"

"Too scared." Kaz answered roughly.

"When was the last time you cried?" Inej asked curiously. She had never seen him cry before. Never. He froze.

"I...um..."

"Kaz?"

"You won't like it." He said in a small voice.

"Tell." Inej commanded.

"On the Ferolind. After..."

"After I left you." Inej murmured. "Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are _you_ sorry?"

"I couldn't tell you what I wanted to say."

"Which was what?"

"What I just told you."

Inej hugged him tightly. "Then now we're good."

"Inej...I need to tell you something else. Or...more like a lot of things."

"Okay. Go ahead." She encouraged. And Kaz started talking.

Inej found herself tightening her hold on him as he told his story. Him and his brother, coming to Ketterdam. That stunned her. She knew most of the rumours about Dirtyhands were false, but she had never thought to question where he had come from. Pekka Rollins, the scam. Jordie and Kaz on the streets. She shuddered to think of what it must've been like, two boys completely alone in the most violent city in the world, still missing their father. And the firepox. She had heard stories of the Queens Lady plague, bodies in the streets, everyone terrified, even met some of the very few people who had survived catching it. She now knew the reason for Kaz's rasp. Firepox caused scarring in survivors, sometimes internally, on the vocal cords. He stopped there, shivering. Inej waited patiently, sensing there was more.

Kaz started again suddenly. "They though we were dead. Jordie probably already was, I can't really remember. The bodymen took us to Reapers Barge." Inej tensed, curling he fingers into his coat.

"You're not serious."

Kaz gave a very bitter, slightly hysterical laugh. "Completely."

"Oh, Kaz." Inej felt her own eyes well up with tears. This was worse than anything she could've ever imagined.

Kaz snorted, still holding on to her like he was drowning. "And I'm not even done."

"Do you want to continue?"

"No. But I'm going to anyway. I need to." His voice was fragile. His expression was angry, and sad. So very sad. "I was nine. I was weak, I couldn't swim back alone." His voice broke on the last word, and he stepped away from her, trembling. It was a minute or two before he spoke again. "What floats, Inej?" His tone was now deathly quiet.

"I don't understand." It was hard to resist the temptation to reach for him, he looked so miserable.

"What floats on Reapers barge?"

Understanding came like a punch to the gut. "Bodies."

"Jordie's body. His skin was cold, and dead, and... I just...could never get the feeling out of my head when..." Kaz trailed off, staring at his gloved hands.

"When you touch people." Inej finished. He nodded. This was what he had been fighting, all the years she had known him. She wanted to find Rollins and cut his heart from his chest, finishing what she had started.

"I keep going."

"Stay here. Stay with me." Inej told him, hesitantly taking his hand.

"I'll do my best. I promise."

"Kaz! Inej!" Jesper called from somewhere in the house.

They reluctantly turned to go, and Inej could see Kaz struggling to force down his feelings, swiping his tears away. She squeezed his hand. "I'm here, whenever you need a shoulder to cry on. Okay?"

He nodded, and she released him, turning and walking into the house, Kaz following. He stumbled slightly, and she put an arm around his waist. Before they rejoined the others, she said one last thing. "I love you, Kaz Brekker. Rough edges and all."

"No lack of those." Kaz hesitantly leaned in and kissed her cheek briefly. Inej bit her lip, feeling her cheeks heat. He smiled at the expression on her face, and Inej couldn't help but smile back.


	47. Nina Gaps In the Paint

Heyyyyy! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Just a question, I'm debating how a chapter should go. Who's for Marli and Kaz beating the crap out of each other with words in a future chapter? Tell me in the reviews!

 **Nina**

Kaz and Inej walked into the room, taking seats on the couch. Inej snuggled up to Kaz, and Kaz put an arm around her. Nina raised an eyebrow at Kaz, and he just stared back, a small smile tugging at his lips. _Thank you._ He mouthed quickly. Nina was shocked, to say the least.

Mr and Mrs Ghafa stode in, and Nina was struck by how silently they walked, their bearing so much like their daughter's. They cast worried looks at Inej, and glared outright at Kaz. Inej moved a little closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder, as if she could protect him from her parents dislike. Inej's parents sat next to her, still watching Kaz like he was an unpredictable cobra. Nina sighed. They didn't need to worry. She knew Kaz loved Inej, as much as someone like Kaz could, which Nina suspected was more than he was willing to admit. Dirtyhands had a reputation to keep. But he wouldn't hurt her, or her family. Inej's father leaned over and whispered something to her. She separated from Kaz, and held her fathers hand. her father looked satisfied, until Inej reached back and took Kaz's hand as well. Her expression said _I'm not choosing._ Nina felt proud.

None of the others seemed to notice this little exchange. Honestly, they couldn't be more blind if they all had paper bags over their heads. Except one. Marli was staring at Kaz and Inej, grinning widely. Nina elbowed her.

"Adorable, right?" She whispered.

"You have no idea. Kaz always did fall hard for the pretty ones." Marli whispered back. Nina blinked.

"What? Kaz has...exes?"

"Well, no. He never actually dated them. Or talked to them. He was nine. Puppy love, I guess."

"Give me names." Nina demanded.

"Umm...Natalye Draden? Blonde hair, big brown eyes. Very pretty." Nina sat back, absorbing this new information.

"Kaz had crushes."

"Yep."

"How did we get from the Kaz you knew, to what we have here?"

"He isn't so different." Marli murmured. "Like a building with a new coat of paint. The original is still there."

"You think so?"

"There's gaps in the paint."

"You think that coat of paint could ever be stripped away completely?"

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

"How are we going to rescue the other Dregs?" Jesper asked. "We can't leave them."

"I know we can't." Kaz answered. He was looking better, Marya must have rebandaged his wound and done something about his head. She would probably know more about healing then Nina at this point. "We need a way to bring Rollins down, and make the other gangs back off."

"In other words, a miracle." Wylan said. "Rollins is crazy angry, he's not going to stop for anything lesser than a bomb blast."

"Let's give him one." Jesper cut in humourlessly. "Right down his throat." Wylan sighed heavily.

"What about his kid? I know that didn't exactly work the first time, but it's his biggest weakness." Anika asked. Inej's parents looked horrified.

Kaz shook his head. "We're not touching Alby." Inej turned her head and looked at him, startled. Nina wondered at the sudden change in heart. A few days ago, Kaz would have gladly tortured Alby just for being Rollins' kid. What had happened? Jesper and Wylan looked like they understood, but everyone else looked confused.

"Why not?" Nina asked.

"I owe that kid my life. No one's touching him."

"What do you mean, your life?"

"It was something else." Jesper said. "Rollins had Kaz on the ground, and this five year old kid just steps in his way and tells him to stop. It was surreal. Kaz had to tell Alby to move out of Rollins' way."

"You told him to get out of the way of the person who want to kill you?" Anika asked.

"It's not his fight." Kaz said. Nina understood. In this, Kaz was like Matthias, driven by honour. He refused to hide behind innocents to save his own life. Kaz was a lot of things, but cowardly was not one of them. Marli had been right about gaps in the paint.

"So how do we get to him?"

"You can get to him in the morning." Marya interrupted. "You all need sleep." It was a mark of how tired they all were that none of them argued. Marli threw herself next to Nina on the couch, pulling a blanket over her head. Nina did the same, falling asleep almost immediately.


	48. Kaz Stupid, Stupid Plan

**Kaz**

Inej's parents rose from the couch. "Inej, come sleep with us." Her father said, glaring at Kaz. he just looked back, neither glaring nor glancing away. He had to convince him that he was not the enemy.

Inej looked at him. Kaz met her eyes, saying nothing. She could make her own decision.

"I'm staying here, with my friends." She said, quietly but firmly. Her mother glared at Kaz. Marya turned the lights off and left. There was just enough room on the couch for them to lie side by side, shoulders touching. He felt the water beginning to rise, and shoved it back down. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"I'm used to it, Inej."

Inej pushed herself on her elbow. "That's not an excuse. They could at least give you the benefit of the doubt."

"It's okay." He was used to being treated like what he was. Barrel trash. He wouldn't expect them to think differently of him. Besides, they had a point. Their daughter was much too good for him.

She sighed, and laid back down, head on Kaz's chest. "Are you all right with this?" He nodded. Kaz gazed at the ceiling, idly stroking her hair with a gloved hand. He could tell from the change in her breathing that she had fallen asleep.

"I love you." Kaz whispered. He had told her. He had told her everything. The words had felt impossible to get out, but he had managed. Kaz thought of the blatant disapproval in her parents eyes. He knew Inej would be heartbroken if forced to choose between them. He'd never ask that of her, partly because he had no right, partly because he was well aware of who she'd choose. But her parents might. He had to make things right, somehow. For her. Had to convince them he cared about their daughter.

Marya had given him some kind of medicine, and his head was clearer, the ache lesser. Kaz fell asleep.

He was sitting at his old kitchen table, Jordie across from him. He leaned back, closing his eyes. "This is a dream."

"Yep."

Kaz's flew open, and he almost fell off the chair. "What did you just say?"

Dream Jordie was smiling faintly at him. "This is a dream."

"You don't say."

"No need to be sarcastic." Even after eight years, the mild rebuke still stung. Kaz shook it off, allowing some of his anger at his brother to surface.

"You're an asshole."

"I suppose I am, yes."

"Suppose?" He snarled.

"I'm sorry, Kaz."

"This is a dream. You're not really saying that." Ghezen, how he wished it wasn't a dream. If only to yell at his brother again.

"It's not your fault."

"You're not saying that, either."

"No. But you know it's true. She knows, too."

"Inej?"

"Yes. You should listen to her. She's quite reasonable. It's not your fault."

"I need to beat Rollins." He was done with this line of conversation, even if it was with his own mind.

"I know. You're going to anyway, even if I tell you that you don't owe me that. You don't owe me any of this, little brother."

Kaz chose to ignore that statement. "You're my head. Got any bright ideas?"

Dream Jordie looked thoughtful. "Yes. But you're not going to like it."

"Tell me."

Dream Jordie told him. He didn't like it.

He woke up in the dark, Inej's head on his chest. "Kaz?" She whispered. "Are you okay?"

He evened out his breathing. "Yes."

"Nightmare?"

"Not...not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"It wasn't a nightmare, but it wasn't...I don't know." Every other dream he'd had with Jordie had been bad. And while this hadn't exactly been pleasant, it didn't have him waking up gasping either.

"Jordie?"

"Yes."

"What did he have to say?"

Kaz sighed quietly. "Apparently it's not my fault."

"It's not. He's right." She moved slightly closer.

"He also gave me an idea."

"And?"

"You're not going to like it."

"Why?"

"Because it involves the sewers, and giving myself up and letting Rollins torture me?"

Dead silence. Then "No."

"Inej-"

"No."

"Just listen-"

"No."

"It's not-"

Inej buried her face in his shoulder. "No."

"Will you please just-"

"No. That is a stupid, stupid, plan."

"I haven't even explained it yet!" It scared him a little, the power she had over him without even raising her voice.

"I've heard enough."

"I've said maybe three words!"

"Kaz, you can barely walk up the stairs. You can't stand up to torture. You. Will. Die. And the sewers? Just how hard did you hit your head?"

"Can I at least explain my plan to you?"

"You have one minute."

"To fight, we'll need more supplies that we have here. But the streets will be crawling with gang members. We go to one of the Dregs supply houses in the Barrel through the sewers, get what we need. Then, I let Rollins' men capture me, so I can keep the doors open. I can't pick the locks, they're something new I haven't seen before." It was a blow to his pride to admit that, but true.

"On the off chance we get all the guards, what about the hundreds of rival gang members outside?"

"This is a gang war. Which means, once we kill their general, we're in charge. And guess who their general is?"

A small intake of breath. "Rollins."

"Right on."

"I don't like it. What if we all drown? The sewers aren't exactly safe. What if he kills you before we get to you? What if you can't keep the doors open?"

"Then we're screwed. But I don't see another way out of this. The sewers will be fine, as long as there isn't a flood while we're down there. And I have a feeling he'll want to take his sweet time killing me. He wants the bank account numbers, remember."

"That's really not comforting, Kaz."

"Believe me, I know."

"Why do you have to do this?"

"He'll probably just kill any of you straight out."

Inej shifted, and Kaz felt the water rise slightly. What if Rollins somehow found that weakness? He really didn't want to think about what someone could do if they knew about it and had the intention to hurt him. He knew Inej and Marli wouldn't hurt him that way, but if Rollins decided to exploit it, he would be helpless.

Inej apparently had had the same thought. "What if he finds...that?"

"That?"

"I don't know what else to call it."

"How about hell?"

"Be serious."

"Oh, I am."

"Well?"

"I'll probably go insane before he has the chance to get the bank account numbers from me." Kaz said, matter of fact. It was true, he most likely would. Inej shivered. They were silent for a moment. "So?"

"We'll talk to the others in the morning. Kaz?"

"Yes?"

"When this is over, I'm not staying long. Just though you could use the head up."

Kaz sighed. He had been expecting this. "I know. Where will you go first?"

"Ravka. I need to drop off my parents, see my family."

"What's Ravka like?"

Inej looked at him, her expression surprised. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm curious." He wanted to know what the place Inej had come from was like. He had never left Kerch, except for the Ice Court job.

"It depends where you are." She said slowly. "Os Kervo is nice, lots of open aired markets, things to look at. I've always lied the Sikurzoi mountains the best, though. There was a place near a large lake that my people always used as a rest stop, and in the evening, before the sun would set behind the mountains, the water would look like gold." He could hear the love and homesickness in her voice. "The mountains were beautiful just before dawn, as well. The peaks would seem blue and purple. There are whole fields of grass, just grass, stretching off into the distance. Huge forests. Farther North, there are ice fields, and streams so cold they hurt your throat. You should come with me someday." Inej said, turning to him.

"Maybe. Someday." Ravka seemed so different from Ketterdam, with its dark, crowded streets and perpetually smoggy weather. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad one. What Kaz wouldn't give to be free of the ghosts that haunted him. But he knew Ketterdam, felt at home in its dark and twisted streets. He belonged here. He hated and loved this city. "What are the Suli like?"

"Why the sudden interest in my heritage?"

 _Because I want to understand why I need to let you go._ "No reason."

"The Suli are tight, close knit. We have to be, there are so few of us. Most of us make a living as circus performers, or other traveling trades. We never stay in the same place for very long. Everywhere is home, as long as we are together."

"Do you have other family?"

"My cousins, uncles, and aunts. No brothers or sisters." He'd figured, he'd heard her talk about her past a few times, and never heard of any siblings. He couldn't believe he'd never asked before, though. This was probably the longest he had ever talked with her about _her._

"What time is it?"

"Probably about two bells."

"Goodnight, Inej." Kaz fervently wished dawn would never come.

"Goodnight, Kaz."


	49. Wylan Family

**So sorry for the long update, I read through what I had planned for the next few chapters and ended up deleting it. It's probably going to be ten chapters longer than I originally planned. To think I once thought this wouldn't be more than five. HAHAHAHA**

 **Wylan**

Wylan couldn't believe the words that were coming from Kaz's mouth. There was dead silence in the sitting room as Kaz explained his idea. Then the protests bubbled up.

"Not a chance."

"You'll die."

"Rollins will see it coming a mile away."

"We won't let you, Kaz."

" _Sewers_?" That was Nina.

"I told you they wouldn't like it." Inej said, dark eyes worried.

"There isn't another way out of this." Kaz said calmly.

"Kaz, he'll know it's a trick." Nina pleaded. "Come on, Barrel rat. This is your life we're talking about. Where's that famous sense of self preservation?"

"On vacation. I'll make it look like an accident he caught me."

"How are we going to get you out, while fighting something like thirty men guarding the Dregs, not counting the many more outside and spread throughout the city?" Marli demanded, ice blue eyes flashing dangerously.

"We won't have to fight all of them. Not if we kill Rollins."

Jesper put his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes. Wylan took a moment to realize just how tired all of them looked. "Because then we'll have killed their general. Saints, it actually makes sense."

"Of course it does. It's my plan." At least Kaz wasn't tired enough to forsake his arrogance. It might've made Wylan itch to slap him normally, but now it was just something familiar in a situation where nothing was certain.

"You'll keep the doors open. But how will we disable the guards?" Anika asked.

"Kaz. This is insane." Marli growled. Wylan didn't think he was the only one who heard the almost desperate note to her tone. _She doesn't want to lose him._

But if Kaz heard it, he gave no indication. "Will you be quiet and let me explain it?"

Marli stood and walked straight up to Kaz, staring him down. "You. Are going. To _die_."

"Marlisa, sit down."

Marli's jaw clenched. "You want to play the name game, Kaz? Do you?" Wylan froze , along with everyone else. It was like someone had put two time bombs together, and now they were waiting to see which one exploded first. "Well? Cause if we play, I'm going to win."

"You wouldn't." Kaz snarled. Wylan didn't like the look in his coffee eyes. An angry Kaz was one thing. But a Kaz that was simultaneously angry and scared was another level altogether. Advice from concerned adults about playing outside came to mind. _Never corner a wounded animal. It'll fight back._ Advice Marli had apparently never heard.

"Try me."

"No, you wouldn't. You're not that stupid." Kaz stood, giving him more than a few inches on Marli.

"Kazimer."

"Marli, not another word."

"James."

"Katrine." Kaz snapped back.

Marli threw up her hands. "You are the most irritating son of a bitch I've ever met! Why am I even still here?"

"Well, aren't you your mothers little girl. Can't be bothered to stick with anything, even her child." Kaz growled. Nina flinched, Jesper blowing out a breath and glancing away. Anika's eyes widened a little, and Inej pursed her lips. Marli's answering shriek of rage hurt Wylan's ears.

" _My_ mother? What would your mother do if she could see you now? Can you even _imagine_?" Kaz balled his fists, tensing like coiled spring. "Oh, that's right. You probably can't even remember her. She died when your were five."

Kaz's howl made the hairs stand up on the back of Wylan's neck. "Shut up! What would your father do? Actually, I doubt he'd care, unless he was cheering Rollins on!"

"More interesting question. What would _your_ father do?"

"Shut the hell up _now_." Wylan had never seen Kaz so...what? Angry? Scared? Sad? All emotions were present. Wylan didn't think he had ever really heard Kaz yell. The angrier he got, the colder. His expression was rage, mixed with a pain Wylan couldn't fathom.

"Don't compare me to my mother!" Marli screamed.

"Then don't mention my parents, damn it!" Kaz shouted.

"Why is this such a sore spot for you all of a sudden? You've spent years acting like you don't care. Your heart might as well be an ice cube." Marli's voice was filled with scorn. She was saying what no one had ever dared say to Kaz before. Wylan's awe was trumped only by fear and a kind of horrified fascination.

"Says the girl who became a mercenary and was seriously debating killing one of the only friends she'd ever had." Kaz snarled back. The volume of their argument was like a rough sea, full of crescendos and and deep valleys.

"If you could see yourself now, you'd understand. Rabid dogs are supposed to be put down, Kaz."

"I didn't. Have. A. Choice." Kaz growled, voice low and pained. For the first time, Wylan wondered at why exactly Kaz had joined a gang, become what he was. Revenge on Rollins could've been achieved other ways. Maybe because there had been simply no other option. Kaz took a deep breath and seemed to recover a little. "You told Alby you're not afraid of the druskelle. Haven't you had nightmares about them coming for you since you were six?" The message in his dark eyes was clear. _Every time you hurt me, I will hurt you worse._

"Didn't have a choice, hmm? Well, I wouldn't know, because you haven't breathed a word of what happened!"

"Go to hell!" Kaz snapped.

"I'll see you there!" Marli countered.

"How about both of you calm down for a second-" Jesper attempted. Wylan had to admire the sharpshooters bravery. Jesper quailed under the force of their glares. "Okay, it was just an idea."

"I'm surprised that you've actually stayed with us this long."

"I'm not like my mother." Marli barked.

"No? You're a chameleon. You change, you never stay in one place, you never settle. You're a merc, never joined a gang. Who does that remind you of?" Kaz shot back.

"I think Jordie would be scared. If he could see that his little brother's become a thief, a murderer, a blackmailer, a monster."

Wylan immediately knew that Marli had crossed a line. Earlier, Wylan would've thought that Kaz wouldn't be crazy enough to attack a Sqauller. He'd be wrong.

Before anyone could move, Kaz was holding a knife, and Marli had raised her hands. They went for each other, and Inej dived in the way. Both stopped, Marli reluctantly lowering her hands, Kaz dropping his knife, gaze a mix of fury, pain, and something Wylan had never expected to see from Kaz. Shame, dark and deep.

"Get out of the way." Kaz snapped.

"No. You two are friends. What are you doing?" Inej demanded.

"Trying to kill him. Get out of the way." Marli hissed.

"If you were really trying to kill him, you would've suffocated him by now."

"Too easy." Her angry blue eyes never left Kaz's furious coffee ones.

"Enough." Inej snapped. "Sit. Now." Kaz opened his mouth to argue. "Kaz, shut up. I don't want to hear it." To Wylan's astonishment, he closed his mouth and sat on the couch next to her. Marli did the same.

"Kaz, you were explaining?"

"She. Can disable most of the guards." Kaz snarled through clenched teeth.

"I can use my power on them?"

"Go crazy. If you weren't already.

Wylan looked at them all. They were actually agreeing with this crazy plan? Kaz had barely started to recover from the bullet wound, and that hit to the head. He couldn't be tortured. Wylan didn't understand what had happened to Kaz in that alley, but that sure wouldn't help either. And he knew it made him sound even more like a merchling, but he wasn't too excited about the idea of going through Ketterdam's septic system. Wylan had heard that is was a system of huge tunnels beneath the streets, that directed waste and rainwater away from the canals so they didn't overflow. He had also heard tales of workmen dying in cave ins and floods, swept out to sea or crushed beneath tons of rock. Wylan wasn't anxious to see for himself.

Kaz spoke. "I'll leave it in your capable hands to deal with the guards Marli can't. Wylan, Jesper, I'm sure you both have some fun ideas." Jesper rubbed his brown hands together and cackled evilly. Wylan thought back to his notebook. Yes, he had some ideas, and he supposed they could be called fun, especially by Jesper. They would need goggles. And he would need Jes's help modifying a rifle. Wylan shook his head. He was not planning for this, because he was not allowing this to happen.

"When are we doing this?" Anika asked.

"Today."

"No mourners." Jesper said.

"No funerals." Everyone answered, including Marli.

They all stood, and went to get ready. Wylan followed Kaz, away from the others. "What is it, merchling?" Kaz asked.

"Don't." Wylan pleaded.

Kaz stopped walking and turned to look at him. "What?"

"Don't do this. Rollins will kll you, on purpose or not."

Kaz shrugged. "Maybe."

"But you're going to do it anyway?"

"Yes." Wylan felt himself tearing up. "Oh, come on merchling, don't cry."

"Why not?" You're going to basically kill yourself. I have a right to a few tears. Why are you so reckless with your own life?"

Kaz looked awkward. "First of all, I don't deserve it. Why the hell would you miss me? Second... Wylan, believe or not, I don't-"

"You gave me a chance, a new home. I met Jesper, Inej, Nina, and Matthias because of you. You helped me get my mother back, and destroy my father. I owe you a lot. You're my friend, whether you like it or not. And don't you dare say you don't have a lot to live for. You have us." Kaz looked stunned. Wylan sniffed, tears now running freely down his cheeks. Kaz limped over to him.

'Listen, merchling...Wylan, you heard Marli. She's right, my family would hate me if they could see..." Wylan didn't let him finish. He hugged Kaz, frantically hoping Kaz wouldn't kill him. Kaz went absolutely still, then ever so slowly, hugged Wylan back.

"We are your family."

Kaz's breathing hitched. Wylan sniffed again, smelling the odd tang of...was that citrus? Wylan had never noticed Kaz's smell before.

It was true, they were an odd, makeshift, insane family, all of them. Brothers and sisters. Matthias had been the mother hen of the group. Even Marli and Anika had a place, cousins you only saw once in a while but deeply cared about. And Kaz was the conniving, manipulative, criminally inclined older brother who had brought them all together. Sure, they fought. But that didn't change anything.

"Family." Kaz sounded like he was trying out the word. His rasp as rougher than normal.

Wylan couldn't get over the fact tha he was hugging one of the most dangerous people in Ketterdam. And that Kaz was hugging him back. There was absolutely nothing romantic about it, but Wylan had to admit it felt nice. Like hugging Inej or Nina. "We're your family. And we don't hate you."

"I can't remember what it's like to be part of a family."

"We can help you. That's what families do. They help each other."

Kaz's voice was soft when he spoke again. "I'd like that."

"Um...Kaz? Wylan?" Jesper's voice from behind them. Wylan quickly let go, and Kaz did the same, limping away without looking at Jesper. Jesper raised a brow at Wylan. "Do I have competition? Funny, I always thought Kaz was as straight as that cane."

Wylan felt his face flush. "Absolutely not."

"Good. I'd fight Kaz for you, but I'd probably die in the process. What were you two doing?" Jesper asked, eyebrow still raised. He frowned. "Have you been crying?" Wylan swiped at his eyes, and hugged Jesper. Jesper startled, and then hugged him back.

"I'm worried."

"About Kaz?"

"I don't want him to do this."

Jesper sighed. "Do you know another way?"

"No."

"Then this is all we've got. I don't like it either. Out of curiosity, who hugged first, him or you?"

"Me."

"And he didn't kill you horribly?" Jesper sounded surprised.

"Nope."

Jesper looked at the door that Kaz had went through thoughtfully. "He's changed."

"Changing. I don't think he's done yet."

"Is it for the better?"

Wylan thought of Kaz slowly returning his hug, and smiled slightly. "I think so."


	50. Kaz One Day At A Time

**Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait, I've been trying to figure out where this monster ends. And I still don't know. Anyway!**

 **Kaz**

They stood, all staring at the person sized grate in an alley beside the Van Eck mansion that led to the sewers. And as far as Kaz was concerned, near certain death.

Kaz had never used the sewers as a part of any plan in any scheme before. No one did. Filled with disgusting water, dirty, dark, with constant risk of a flood or cave in, they kept everyone far away. Even cave ins were repaired only when there was a major break that compromised a canal.

Kaz knew the sewers were used to keep waste out of the canals, and to keep them from overflowing when there was a heavy rain. He knew the layout, the route they would have to take. He also possessed the frightening knowledge that if there was going to be a flood, it was going to be now. Rain was still pouring down from the bleak grey sky. But Kaz had no idea what exactly to expect from this dark city's darkest level.

Kaz and Jesper hauled the grate off, revealing the dark hole, oozing a disgusting smell. "Who's first?" Marli asked. Kaz's hands unconsciously curled into fists at the sound of her voice. Her words had torn something apart inside of him that he wasn't sure how to fix.

He sighed. This had been his idea. He had brought them here. Kaz stepped forward, then lowered himself into the darkness, dropping.

The cold was instantaneous. Kaz clapped his hands over his mouth to suppress a scream. Saints, his _leg_... "Kaz?" Wylan called.

"Fine." He squeaked, his voice an octave higher than it usually was. Kaz was suddenly remembering why he hated winter and spent a lot of nights restless. Because his leg did not function well in the cold.

The water was waist high, flowing with considerable force downstream. There was an oily sheen from what he could see in the light from outside. _Do. Not. Fall in._ The tunnel ceiling was a few feet over his head, the stone glistening. There had been a flood recently.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes. Cold." One word sentences were all he could manage now. "Coming?"

"What is wrong with his voice?" Someone up there muttered. The tunnel captured the sound and sent it bouncing off the walls in an unbelievably loud and annoying echo. _With his voice...his voice...voice..._

"I don't know. Why don't you go and see, Jes?"

"Ouch. Fine." A few seconds later, Jesper was beside him, hissing and doing a little tap dance, splashing water everywhere. "Cold!"

"I told you." Kaz said dryly, fighting not to whimper at the ache in his leg.

"How's the water?" Nina asked. _Water...water...water..._

"Come on in, the water's fine!" Jesper crowed.

Nina dropped, then Wylan, who let out a girlish squeal, Anika, Marli and Inej. They took out bonelights, the glow turning the walls a ghoulish green. Inej took one look at his face and splashed over to him. "Are you okay?" _Okay...okay...okay..._ She frowned at the echo.

 _I love your voice. I love you._ "I'm good. Let's go." Kaz had to keep reminding himself to breathe against the current flowing hard against his back, threatening to knock him off his feet. And having a leg he couldn't stand on for longer than a second wasn't helping. At least they weren't walking against it. He was glad he didn't have to make a return trip.

They started down the tunnel, Kaz keeping his mind busy with plotting out the specifics of the plan ahead of them, instead of thinking of the cold of the water, and where he went from there. He was _not_ going to have a panic attack. Not here, not now.

Kaz passed a couple grates, rain still pouring in, thunder booming. A few minutes later, there was an odd sound from behind, like the storm was inside the tunnel. "What is that?" Nina asked slowly. They all stopped and listened. It got closer. And then Kaz realized what it was. A sound he was familiar with, the pulse of waves on stone times a thousand.

"Move!" They looked confused, until Kaz elaborated. "Water!" The current dramatically increased, water rising, and they were swept along, frantically treading water. Until the full force of the flood was upon them.

The water closed over his head, suffocating, and Kaz stopped thinking. He was back on Reaper's Barge, corpses everywhere, the water cold, currents pressing against him, keeping him away from shore. He felt his body get scraped against the curved roof of the tunnel, still underwater.

Minutes or hours later, he couldn't tell, they slammed into something hard, all the remaining breath knocked out of Kaz's lungs. He felt someone's hands on him, and shivered. A soft hand on his shoulder, soaked and freezing. Kaz flinched, whimpering. Dead. He was surrounded by the dead. "Kaz. Wake up." Kaz recognized Marli's voice from a long ways away. "Kaz, please." He realized he was coughing, choking up foul tasting water. A gentle voice in his ear, warm breath tickling his face. "Come on, you idiot, wake up." So maybe not so gentle. They were in the sewers. The plan. Right.

Kaz made a strangled as he opened his eyes and saw where they were. They were against a large chunk of ston, on the bottom of the tunnel, the current parting around them and rushing off into the dark. The other were breathing hard, soaked and coughing up water like him. Marli had a hand raised, and Kaz could feel the air pushing against the water. "Now we know why nobody uses these." Anika panted. A few of them had managed to keep a hold on their bonelights, thank Ghezen.

Marli scrambled onto the rock first. "Are we going, or are we staying here all day?"

"Going?" Wylan muttered. " _Going_?" The poor kid looked traumatized.

"What else are we going to do, merchling? We knew this could happen. We're alive. Not a big deal." Anika told him.

"Not a big deal." Wylan repeated slowly. "No, not at all." Jesper sighed, got up, and offered Wylan his hand. Wylan took it and pulled himself up shakily. "Never again, Kaz. No more sewers. I will do anything else. But no sewers."

Kaz could only look back at him tiredly. They climbed onto the rock, and Marli let the water go. The space above them was empty, full of damp dirt and stones. With their luck, more would collapse. Marli and Kaz's eyes met quickly, and then he glanced away. _I don't know how to say I'm sorry._

The water level eventually lowered, and they headed to an intersection at the end, and promptly started arguing at the top of their lungs about which direction to go in. Inej stayed next to him, trailing behind.

"Flashback?" Inej asked. One half of his brain hated that she knew how weak he was. The other half was thanking every higher being there was that he'd had the strength to tell her.

"The water." Kaz muttered. He couldn't shake it. He was soaked, frozen, and his vision was blurring with the effort to keep himself here.

"You can do this. I know you can. We have to keep going." Inej encouraged. _Yes. Very helpful. I have to get up so I can be tortured and possibly killed by my worst enemy._ Inej sighed and leaned closer, making sure no one else could hear. "You can fight this. You _will_ walk out of here. We're going to beat Rollins." Her tone left no room for argument.

"Then what?" Kaz asked. He didn't know what to do without revenge. It had kept him going through almost half of his miserable life.

"Then, you and me are going to have waffles."

"Waffles." He murmured.

"Yes. And coffee. Very hot coffee. Very hot and very bitter coffee."

"You'll be leaving."

"Not right away."

"What do I do without revenge?"

"You have me. You have us. Your family. Let's take it one day at a time, okay?"

One day at a time. That sounded okay. He could do that. But first, he had to get through this terrible day. He limped over to the others, ignoring the constant ache in his bad leg. "Left, you idiots."


	51. Anika Can I Have A Raise?

"Hey, boss? Can I have a raise?" Anika asked, trying to wring the sewer water out of her hair without dropping her bonelight.

"Yes."

"You're the best boss ever." Kaz stared at her. Anika shrugged. "What can I say? I like my boss. He's an okay guy."

"I'm sorry, who are we talking about again? Cause you and me must have two different bosses." Jesper said, smiling, grey eyes glimmering.

Kaz hissed lightly as he stumbled. "Very funny."

"He does pay well." Nina commented. "When he's in a good mood. Good mood...good mood...mood...mood...

"Which is never." Anika quipped. They dissolved into laughter. Eventually, they started trading stories about dealing with Kaz on difficult days, grinning at him good naturally the whole time. "What about you, Wraith?"

Inej thought for a second. "Remember New Years, last year, when he spent the entire night yelling at us to shut the hell up and go to sleep?"

"Yep. Why were you so angry, boss? You didn't have a problem with a New Years party the year before."

Kaz hunched his shoulders. "I wasn't...sleeping particularly well. And Nina singing out of tune Ravkan folk songs wasn't helping." He growled.

Their smiles vanished. What? "You...were you having nightmares?" Jesper asked.

"Never mind." Kaz snapped.

"You should've told us, boss. We would've shut up." Anika said, her concern growing,

"I would've stopped singing." Nina offered.

"Doesn't matter anymore."

"How many times?" Anika demanded.

"What do you mean?"

"How many times have you gotten angry, and we've insulted, made fun of you for it, and there was a legitimate reason for it that you weren't telling us?" Everyone was looking scared now, not just her.

"All of them, Anika!" Kaz exploded. "You think I yell at you people just to make you miserable?"

"The flashbomb incident?"

"How would you like to get woken up in the middle of the night because a couple idiots set off a bomb in your house?"

"When Pim cleaned the floors and left them wet?" Nina questioned.

"I slipped." Kaz admitted quietly, face reddening. Anika bit her lip. His limp had been worse after that. And she hadn't realized why.

"Snowball fights?" Jesper asked with some trepidation. Kaz remembered actually punching Jesper for that one.

"I was tired. We'd had trouble with Harley's Pointers that day. I wasn't thinking. And I don't like the cold. I'm... sorry."

"I think we should be sorry." Anika started. "You have no idea-"

"You think I don't know what you people say about me? I'm not deaf." Kaz told her irritably.

"Why do you get mad at us for asking if you're okay?" Wylan asked.

"What would you do if I said I wasn't? You can't help. And weakness isn't acceptable in the Barrel."

Everybody fell silent, still slogging through the tunnel. "It shouldn't be like that." Nina said.

"But it is." Kaz replied matter of factly. "So leave me to my suffering, hmm?"

"You suffer." Anika said.

"Yes." He answered reluctantly.

"You feel pain. You hurt."

"Yes."

"You're human."

"No, I'm a fish." Kaz said exasperatedly. "What's your point?"

She looked at him, evaluating just how much emotion he was hiding under that mask of indifference. "You're...like us. You feel. You're not a monster."

Kaz looked away. "No, he's not." A soft voice agreed. Marli didn't look at him.

"And you're not like your mother." Kaz replied. Marli gave him a tiny smile, and he nodded.

Ten minutes later, they were at the grill. Rain was still pouring in buckets through it, adding to the current. There was a sound like thunder in the tunnel again. Wylan climbed onto Jesper's shoulders, pushing it out, then scampered through. They scrambled out, then watched the dark wave flood the tunnel until water was level with the grate.

"We still have the return trip!" Jesper said cheerfully. Nina hit him.

Kaz Brekker was not a monster. That was what kept circling around in Anika's mind as they grabbed supplies from the safe house, said goodbye to the boss and headed back into the sewers. Anger issues, sure. But he had reasons behind it. Cold, unfeeling. A facade, one that everyone in the Barrel needed to survive. The boss was just very good at it.

For the first time, Anika wanted to understand why Brekker was the way he was. He was a genius, he could've been anything. Why a criminal? Maybe what he had said in his argument with Marli was the truth. He hadn't had a choice.

And Anika found herself wondering who the man was behind the armour. What Kaz Brekker was really like. Anike wondered if anyone but Kaz knew. If even Kaz did. She shook those thoughts off, every muscle below her waist screaming in pain. Inej had it worse, the water coming up higher. It was pushing against them like a living being.

Kaz had told them how to get back to the Van Eck mansion, but if there was another flood, they'd be screwed. Anika shivered more than she already was. Lost in this place. Jesper was whistling a drinking song, tossing his bonelight up and catching it. "If you drop that, you're diving for it." Nina threatened, holding her own bonelight in a two handed grip like it was precious beyond measure.

"We're all going to catch pneumonia. Lung fever. We're going to get a scratch in this water and get blood poisoning." Wylan mourned.

"Hush." Inej ordered.

"We swallowed it! Do you know what this is?"

"No, and don't you dare enlighten me." Marli growled. "I prefer ignorance."

"I'm going to take a bath in disinfectant."

"After we rescue Kaz and beat Rollins." Jesper told him. "Then we both will. Maybe together." Wylan flushed bright red. Anika felt a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

They crawled out of the grill they had first climbed into, and sat in the alley, letting the rain wash away the clinging smell and water of the sewers. Anika thought too long about where they had just been, and threw up. Marli patted her shoulder. "Let's go get our boy."

Stumbling into the Van Eck mansion, Anika was hit by the sudden realization that she loved these people. Including Kaz. She wasn't just a lackey when she was with them. She was a valued member of a team.

Anika had heard somewhere, she couldn't remember when, that a team was like a family. At the time, she hadn't thought it was true, knowing only the teams of the Barrel, brought together because they were best suited to get the job done. Now she wasn't so sure.


	52. Kaz Who Do I Want To Be?

**Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait, I know it's annoying. Enjoy!**

Kaz limped through the streets, midsection and leg aching with every step. They were right, he wouldn't be able to stand torture for very long. Not after that horror show in the sewers. He headed to the Crow Club. Hopefully they would find him before he got there, or he'd have to walk all the way back to the docks. And then to the remains of the Slat. And then to the Crow Club again, until one of the gang members found him. He'd die of exhaustion before they found him if he had to do the circuit even once.

Kaz was lucky, two Black Tips that he recognized as Zelda, a blonde, heavyset bouncer that worked at a bar in the lower Barrel, and Timmins, a Shu lockpick that Kaz personally thought was rubbish. He saw them heading for him through the light crowds out of the corner of his eye, and relaxed.

Zelda tackled him to the ground, pinning his arms behind his back. He had avoided breaking anything by relaxing. Kaz pretended to fight, managing to half wiggle out before Timmins stamped hard on his leg. He fought not to scream, almost blacking out. Zelda hauled him to his feet, slapping handcuffs on his wrists. "So this is the great Kaz Brekker." Timmins sniggered. "Not so tough now, are you?"

"Just shut up and help me carry him. People are staring." Zelda growled.

Kaz was unceremoniously dragged towards the warehouse district. He thought of Wylan hugging him, the surge of unprecedented affection he had felt for the merchling. He remembered Inej grasping his arm as he had left, asking him one more time not to do this. It had hurt to leave anyway.

Marli had pulled him into a corner before he had left, eyes blazing.

"If you die, I will personally go down to hell and kick your ass. Understood?"

Kaz had fidgeted. "Could you..." She had blinked, then quickly removed her hand from his chest. "Why do you care?"

"How can I not?" Marli had asked, her voice breaking slightly. "You might be a short tempered, cold, cruel, conniving bastard, but you used to be my only friend. Like you said, I can't forget that."

Kaz had reached out and gently tugged her braid, something he had done to her as kids. She had let out a shaky breath, and taken his hand. Just a light grip on his fingers. He had flinched, but hadn't pulled away. "I'm sorry. For earlier. I wish...I wish being friends could be as easy as it used to be." He had said. He owed it to her to show a little humanity. "You're not your mother. Not even close."

"It's not. For either of us." She answered quietly. "I'm sorry too. That was below the belt."

"So's everything even distantly connected to them." He was still itching to hit something over her comments. But they were equal. He had hurt her just as badly. But Kaz still didn't understand how or why he was forgiving her so easily, or she him. Marli laughed softly, holding back a smile.

"What?"

"You and Inej seem to be okay." She had glanced at his face, and put a hand over her mouth, shaking with silent laughter.

"Quit it." He had grumbled, mortified.

"It's sweet, Kaz, it really is. It's nice to see you that way."

Kaz had sighed heavily. "Don't tell."

"Like it's even a secret anymore." She had chuckled. Then her face had turned serious. "Kaz, please, at least tell me how Jordie died."

He had breathed deeply. "Someday."

"Not good enough."

"When this is all over, if you and me aren't dead, I'll tell you what happened to him. I promise." He'd been trembling. But this was something he had to do. He owed her this.

"I'll hold you to that."

"Okay." He'd felt dizzy. What had he just committed to? He'd said he'd tell her about Jordie. He didn't need to tell her about Reaper's Barge. He would never be able to talk about that to her. But he would have to tell her about Jakob Hertzoon. Firepox. He'd dropped her hand, tugging her braid again. "I'll see you later."

"You'd better."

Kaz felt sad at the prospect of never seeing any of them again. There was a massive chance that he was going to die tonight, certainly painfully. There was the sound of a door being unlocked and opened. This was his moment. He reached into his back pocket, dropping the large stone and shifting into place with his good foot. It would hold the door open. Kaz relaxed, that was his part of the plan over with. It was up to the others now.

Zelda and Timmins dragged him through a series of other, unlocked doors, before they dropped him on a hard stone floor. Kaz stayed there, head down, hands chained behind his back. He hadn't brought picks. There was no point, he was staying here until the others came for him. Kaz heard them leaving, a door opening, voices from the other side registering before the door slammed shut. Footsteps came towards him.

Rollins yanked him up by the front of his tunic, and Kaz couldn't restrain a hiss. Rollins was grinning, and Kaz felt a huge wave of anger. "Finally. I've got you now, you little piece of Barrel trash. What can you do?"

You'll see what Barrel trash can do. Kaz thought. I hope.

"First," Rollins crooned, pleasure in every syllable, "I'm going to take these gloves off, and see what you've been hiding." Rollins unlocked his hands and then relocked them in front of him. No. Please. No no no no no. Kaz wanted to scream, but knew that would make what was about to happen all the more obvious. Rollins stripped his gloves off, and everything in Kaz recoiled at the sensation of Rollins hands on his, made all the worse by the knowledge that Rollins had been the one to do this to him, to cause this weakness. "Long fingers. Could have been a pianist. What exactly were you hiding?"

Kaz concentrated on taking deep breaths through his nose and exhaling through his mouth. He focused on the cold stone floor beneath his knees, the chains on his wrist, anything else. He thought of Inej, her soft voice, her hand in his. Nina, loud and bossy, waltzing into the Slat like she owned the place. Matthias, his quiet strength. Ghezen, he missed the Fjerdan. Jesper, his boundless energy, fingers beating a tattoo on his pearl handed revolvers. Wylan, bent over a drawing, floppy gold curls in his eyes. Marli, her sharp blue eyes, her uncaring smile. Something he recognized as Kaz Rietveld making a comeback was present around her. It wasn't as strong or as heavy as what he felt for Inej, but it was something he needed, just the same. Anika, her yellow hair shaved on one side, asking him to come to a party, batting her golden lashes. All at once, Kaz realized how much he had come to depend on them all, how much they meant to him.

Rollins turned his hand over, examining his palm, and Kaz almost keeled over, accidentally gasping. Rollins stopped, peering closely at his face. A slow smile spread across his already smug features.

"That's it." Kaz felt sick. "Touch. The Bastard of the Barrel...is afraid of contact." Rollins burst out laughing. "Oh my...I can think of so many ways to hurt you, and they don't even require a weapon. Though I think I'll use one just the same." Rollins's hand moved up his wrist, and Kaz couldn't suppress a shiver. This is quite literally my worst nightmare. "Oh, this is going to be fun. You value your hands so much? Let's start with them." Saints, if you're real, I could sure use your help.

"Who else knows?" Kaz shuddered, barely conscious. "Who else know about this?" Rollins demanded.

"No one."

Rollins grabbed his neck, and Kaz narrowly avoided vomiting. "I don't believe that. Even you would've needed someone to confide in. Who is it?"

Inej. Soft, beautiful Inej. And Marli. "No one."

Past and present were tangling together in a shivering, on the brink of insanity, constant panic attack mess. Water, water everywhere. Bodies. The loose feel of skin beneath his streets, hunger and fear clawing at his insides. Being held underwater by a group of teenagers when he was ten. Trying and failing to stop wearing his gloves. The days and weeks after breaking his leg. On the deck of the Ferolind, after Inej had left him, crying for the first time in years. His entire life was a disaster area.

He didn't want to do this anymore. He didn't care about Rollins, or revenge. He suspected that would change when he was rational again, but right then, Kaz just wanted his family. What's happening to me? Where was the boy who had never let anyone in, never let them see, had loved Inej from afar but accepted that there would never be anything between them? He'd thought he'd killed Kaz Rietveld all those years ago, but he'd come back with a vengeance. Now it was Kaz Brekker who was threatened. Kaz felt like his warring sides were resting on a knives edge, the slightest wobble would tip the balance.

Who do I want to be?

But it was a question Kaz couldn't find the answer to.


	53. It's Not Over Did You Think It Was?

**Jesper**

Jesper waited on the rooftop, anxiously tapping his fingers on his modified rifle. Marli was beside him, running her nails along the wet metal. They had decided it would be better to approach the warehouse in teams. "I'm going to kill him." She hissed suddenly.

"You've said that already. Several times." Jesper could understand the sentiment. That argument had been harsh, on both sides.

"It deserves to be repeated."

"Marli?"

"Yes?"

"Who was Jordie?" This had been eating at him since Marli had said the name. Kaz had called Jesper Jordie once. And Jordie was his brother? What did that mean? Was he reading too much into it?

Marli gave him a sidelong glance. "Kaz's older brother."

"Kaz called me him once."

Marli examined him for a few seconds. "I can see why."

"What do you mean?"

"You're a lot alike. Both hyper, cocky, overly confident..."

"So it's not a compliment."

Marli raised a brow. "Kaz called you his brother. Family. Just think about that, and who Kaz is for a minute."

Jesper blinked. This needed further consideration. When they weren't all trying to save their asses.

"It's time to move." Marli grabbed Jesper's coat, pulling him off the roof. She hit the ground running, dragging him behind a building.

The four guards were easy take downs. Marli pulled the air from their lungs, and Jesper smacked them over the head with his rifle.

Inej, Nina, Anika and Wylan appeared, and they approached the door. It was slightly open, the rock preventing it from closing and activating an automatic lock. Jesper almost smiled remembering how Kaz's face had been tinted red when he'd explained he didn't know how to pick it.

Things went wrong so fast that no one was quite sure what happened. There was a yell from behind them, and then something sharp buried itself in Jesper's neck.

He reached back, movements slow and sluggish, pulling out a small brightly coloured dart. Shit. Jesper was unconscious before he hit the ground.

Oh. You thought it was over? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOPE! I love all of you lovely, patient readers. Please don't kill me for the cliffhangers.


	54. Jesper Uncertainty

**Hi, lovely readers! I have no idea of how many chapters I'm going to upload. Anyway, I promise the next one won't be (too much of) a cliffhanger. Please review!**

Jesper woke up in an office, too tight shackles digging into his wrists. Marli was hissing, tugging uselessly at the restraints. Inej gasped. "Kaz!"

Jesper looked to see Kaz hunched against the wall, hands bound. He glanced up briefly, and Jesper flinched at the raw agony and anger in his coffee eyes. "What did he do?" Nina demanded.

Kaz silently extended his arms, letting them see the deep knife wounds. One hand was clenched in a tight fist. The other... Jesper squeaked. "Oh, Saints." He immediately knew the reason for Kaz's anger.

Nina scooted over to him. "Let me see." Kaz shied away. "I need to set these, or they're not going to heal right." Her green eyes strayed to his leg.

Jesper felt like crying. Kaz's arrogance was one thing, but his pride was by far another. He was a lockpick, the most gifted Jesper had ever met. It was who he was. Nina reached for his wrist, and Kaz flinched, back slamming against the wall. "Screw off!" He rasped. Jesper couldn't remember seeing Kaz looking so freaked out before.

"Inej, come here, I'll need your help."

Inej moved beside Kaz, who squealed sharply and halfheartedly struggled as she grasped his wrist. Jesper could've sworn she whispered "I'm sorry." Kaz curled in a small ball, putting his head down, his other fist white knuckled.

"Hold his arm." Nina instructed. Inej gripped it. Wylan and Anika looked away as Nina snapped his fingers back together, Kaz's shoulders hunched, not making a sound. Jesper couldn't look away, and apparently Marli couldn't either. Her blue eyes had gone gentle, sympathetic. "They're clean breaks, there'll be no permanent damage." Nina assured Kaz. He didn't respond, taking heaving breaths.

Jesper laid against the wall, and Wylan moved against his chest. There was silence for a few minutes. "That was a fail." Marli remarked quietly.

"What are we going to do?" The merchling asked.

"I don't know."

"We have a lockpick who can't pick. A sharpshooter with no guns. A Squaller with her hands tied. A spider with nothing to climb. A bruiser without a weapon, and a demo expert without explosives."

"I don't know, Wylan." Jesper held the boy close, wondering if they were ever going to get out of this tangle of uncertainty.


	55. Inej Pineapples

**Hi, lovely readers! I'm sorry for not updating for a while, life is annoying. (I feel like if I ever stopped writing for too long someone's gonna come to my house and make me write at gunpoint. Though seriously, you guys are awesome. I love the reviews.) Enjoy!**

 **Inej**

Kaz waited till everyone was asleep except for her to let the tears come. He stayed silent, swiping them away with his one good hand.

Inej sat next to him, watching him sadly. "It's okay, Kaz. There'll be no permanent damage."

"Get the hell away from me." Rollins had obviously found Kaz's weakness, and used it. She was going to break every bone in his body. Kaz let out a sob, the covered his mouth, drawing his legs tighter to him.

"Nina had to set them. You're going to be okay."

"Screw off."

Inej bit her lip. "I'm sorry." Only she knew what kind of pain being forcibly held down and touched caused him, and she had gone right ahead and let Nina do it, even helping. "But would you rather never use your fingers again?"

"You of all people should understand." He hissed.

"I do."

Kaz took a shaky breath. "I know you were helping me, I know, I'm sorry. it just hurt, I'm an asshole. i just hate being helpless." He allowed her to move closer.

 _When Dirtyhands is apologizing, you know the world's gone to hell._ "You're not helpless."

Kaz giggled slightly hysterically. Inej wondered what exactly Rollins had done to make him feel this way, and how she could make him feel the same. "No?"

She tapped his forehead lightly. "You've got that creepy genius. And we need you to figure a way out of this."

"I've tried. Twice. And each time, we end up worse than before." Kaz snapped.

Inej frowned. "Don't tell me Dirtyhands is rolling over and dying."

"I can barely move. I can't do anything with my hand or my leg, and my head is fuzzy. Every ally we have is captured. I've been shot, Jesper's been kidnapped, we've all been through hell the last few weeks. So you'll excuse me if things seem a little grim at the moment."

She just watched him rant, disappointed. Kaz endured it for about a minute before caving. "Don't look at me like that!"

"Self pity doesn't suit you."

He spluttered indignantly. "Self pity. Me. Self pitying."

"That's what I said."

"What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Figure it out. You're the Bastard of the Barrel. You're smarter than any of us."

Kaz closed his eyes, leaning against the wall. Inej sighed and waited. "I can't."

"Kaz-"

"I'm done, Inej. I'm just done. Sorry."

"Then we're all dead." She said matter of factly. Inej couldn't believe Kaz was just giving up.

"Sometimes there's just a limit of what you can do."

"I have faith in your abilities. I have faith in you." She _knew_ he could do this. Inej just needed to convince him of the same. Yes, there was limits to what they were capable of. But Kaz wasn't there. Yet.

"Faith, darling Inej, is a very dangerous thing."

They were silent for a moment. She wondered why Kaz seemed to have no faith in anything or anyone but himself. And even that was shaky, apparently.

"Kaz, is it such a bad thing if the others see?"

"Yes."

"You know Rollins is going to tell them."

"I know." Kaz growled.

"Do you trust us?"

He was silent for a few minutes. "Depends on the situation."

 _Thanks, dear._ "Do you think they'd tell anyone?"

Another few minutes. "No."

"Then maybe you should tell them, before Rollins does."

The instant she said it, she regretted it. Kaz moved a few feet away, curling into a tense ball. "No."

"It's better if they hear it from you first. You're going to have to tell them, one way or the other." He looked at her, and Inej as stunned by the hurt in his coffee eyes.

Inej understood her position with Kaz, at least on the subject of what had happened to him. She could comfort him, she could help, those rare times it was possible to, but she could not do this. She had no right. But she couldn't exactly unsay it. "I can't."

Inej softened her tone, trying to let him know she wasn't trying to hurt him. " I know it's hard, but it'll be easier then explaining after Rollins has had his say."

"I can't."

"It's just a suggestion, I know-"

Kaz's voice was trembling. "Stop. Pushing."

"Kaz-"

" _Stop_."

Inej touched his shoulder, and Kaz flinched, knocking her hand away. He turned his head, refusing to make eye contact. _I deserve that._ Was this what Kaz was like when he thought you'd betrayed him?

"Why are you mad at me for telling the truth?"

"It's a truth I really can't face right now."

"So you'd rather wait until Rollins has told everyone, and you have no choice but to face it?"

Kaz shuddered. "I need to have a choice."

"I know." Inej soothed. "You have a choice right now. Tell them on your own terms, or Rollins will force you to."

"Not quite what I meant by choice."

"Look at me." He glanced at her. " I have an idea of how hard this is for you. How impossible this is. I'm not going to tell you what I think you should do. But either way, I'll be here for you. I love you, and if you really think it'll be easier for you to explain later, I won't judge. Please don't be angry with me." Inej knew what it was like to need someone to care, someone to believe in you and the choices you made, even if Kaz never admitted. He had no one except the people in this room. They cared, and Inej was determined to help hm see that.

"You understand the 'really' in that second last sentence shows what side you're on, right?"

"Please don't do that."

"Do what?" He challenged.

"I'm not trying to hurt you."

"You sure are doing a fantastic job of it."

Kaz's coffee eyes were both pleading and angry. _This is too much._ "I'm sorry." He relaxed a little. Inej remembered how hard it had been for Kaz to finally admit to having a problem just to her. Five people was too much. Maybe Kaz really had reached the limit of what he was capable of.

A few hours later, the others woke up.

"What do you think Alby's doing right now?" Anika asked. Kaz sat bolt upright, wincing. Anika jumped. Inej just waited patiently.

He turned to her with the familiar look in his eyes, half cold detachment, half focused heat. "I told you all our enemies are captured."

"Yes."

"Not true. There's one. We just need to convince him to help us." Inej smiled. It wasn't a plan, or even a completely though through idea. But it was something. Something more than nothing.

Anika's soft blue eyes widened. "Alby?"

"Yeah."

Marli flopped back to the floor. "Our lives and all of the Dregs lives now rest with a five year old. Greeaat."

"We need to figure out how to get a message to him."

"What, something like, hey, Alby, we're captured and about to be tortured by your father, could you please get us the keys so we can kill him?"

"Not the keys. There's no way we can just run out of here."

"Then what?"

"Still thinking on that part."

Everyone stilled as the door opened. A boy was shoved through, ankles and wrists bound. "Roeder?" Anika asked. A groan was the only response. Roeder looked terrible, deep wounds on his chest oozing blood.

Kaz nudged his side with his good leg. "Roeder."

"Mmm...boss?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Yeah. How you doin'?"

"You think this is funny?"

"No. Yes?"

"Did you hit your head?"

"There's a lot of...wording, going on, and I can't pay attention, because blood's all missing."

"Fair enough. Just one question, though. Did you tell them where we were?"

"Is that a trick question?"

'What the...what?"

"Kaz, he's not lucid. Leave him be." Nina advised, peering at Roeder.

"It's not like he's going to get more coherent if I wait."

"Pineapples."

Anika moved closer to him. "Hey, Roeder?"

"Yeah?"

"You remember Big Bolliger?"

"Yeah. Bye bye."

"Well, unless you answer Kaz, and fast, something along those lines is going to happen to you."

Roeder blinked. "What was the question again?"

"Did you sell us out?"

"No. Anybody got whisky?" There was a collective sigh of relief. "Really, any alcohol at all."

"Do you not realize everyone was looking for you when they got captured?" Jesper snapped.

"Jes, don't. Not now." Kaz said quietly.

"You know what? Kaz, shut up." _Whoa. What?_

He glared. "Make me."

"Every idea you've had has landed us deeper in shit. I'm not listening." Jesper growled.

Wylan looked shocked. "Jes, don't say that!"

"No, merchling, he's right."

Jesper blinked. "I am?"

"Yep." Kaz turned over, facing the wall. "You think you can do better, you go right ahead. I'll be sleeping."

"Are you..giving up?" Anika asked, blue eyes filling with water. " _You_? Boss..."

"Kaz, no, come on. Jesper's just being stupid." Nina pleaded.

"Jesper can be responsible for all of you and the rest of the Dregs, let's see how he likes it."

Marli's blue eyes narrowed. "Kaz, I know you're hurt, but we need your help."

Kaz didn't answer. Inej bit her lip, knowing he very much wouldn't appreciate being talked to in front of everyone. Anika scooted over, placing a tentative hand on Kaz's shoulder. He flinched, turning to look at her. Anika almost withdrew the hand, the rubbed her thumb over his coat. "You okay, Boss?"

"I'm fine." Kaz answered roughly, with a faint note of confusion.

"You're Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel. You're my boss. You've never given up on _anything._ What did he do?"

Kaz closed his eyes, resting his head on the floor. Anika sighed, patting his arm and withdrawing. "We're here when you want to talk. It's not like we can go anywhere anyway."

"I'm fine." He repeated. But Inej could tell his heart wasn't in it.


	56. Marli (Not) Nothing

**100 REVIEWS! Well, 105, BUT YOU GET THE IDEA! Thank you so much for all of your support, it means a lot.**

 **I just realized, this is LOT of Kaz centered angst.**

 **Oh well!**

 **Side note, owls picking up cats happens. My friends grandparents have a farm in Alberta and great horned owls go after the kittens. :(**

 **Marli**

Marli pulled uselessly against her bonds, her wrists bleeding. This simple restriction was somehow more claustrophobic then the vents had been.

 _Why does Grisha power come from our hands? It's literally one of the most easily lost parts of our bodies._ Marli blinked. _Actually, what happens when a Grisha loses their hands?_ She shuddered and decided not to think about that anymore. Or ever again.

"Hey, Jes?"

"Don't ask. I can't get my hands the right way." Jesper interrupted, watching Kaz.

Marli kicked, connecting with the stone wall. She couldn't help the frustrated howl that bubbled up. Kaz shot up, yelping. "What?"

"Sorry." Marli said sheepishly. Kaz looked like crap, dark shadows beneath coffee eyes missing their usual sharpness, blood soaked forearms. "Kaz?"

"Yes?"

"Why did Geels tell me to kill you if Rollins wanted you alive?" The question had been bugging her.

"Because Geels is a moron." Someone answered. Marli turned her head to see Pekka Rollins leaning in the doorway, leering. She felt a flash of rage, straining against the chains. "Quit that, girl."

"Make me, psycho."

"Brekker, restrain your pet Squaller before I decide to deal with it." Kaz glared at Rollins with such hate, pain and fear it amde Marli's heart skip a beat.

"Marli." He murmured. "Relax."

"No."

Rollins surveyed them all like a hawk choosing a mouse. "Brekker, what would they do?"

Marli stared. _He knows? Rollins knows?_ Was that what he'd been doing to him? If someone taking his hand messed him up, what could someone do if they were trying to cause him pain?

Kaz's shoulders hunched. She remembered the owls from the farm back home, huge ones big enough to carry off cats. Kaz looked like one of the barn cats trying to cross an open space at night. Scared shitless and trying to keep semblance of calm. Inej's fingers twitched, like she was imagining how strangling Rollins would feel.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jesper asked bluntly.

Rollins considered him. "Ask Brekker. Maybe he'll tell you. Or maybe not. I doubt any of you would be particularly impressed." The last sentence was addressed to Jesper but meant for Kaz.

Who was currently taking tiny sips of air and trying to hide it. Marli knew if her hands were free, she could force Kaz to even out his breathing. Bust she was trapped. _And I'm gonna kill this smug son of a bitch for it._

Rollins left, and there was a collective sigh of relief. "What did he mean?" Nina asked.

"Nothing." Kaz snapped.

"Nothing. Then why are you shaking?"

"Let me rephrase that. Nothing you need to be worried about. Drop it."

"Are you sure?"

Marli knew Nina had no clue what she was doing. That didn't stop her from wanting to scream at the Ravkan. Then again, she wanted to scream at everyone right now.

"You know I'm still perfectly capable of killing you, right?"

Nina looked away. "And here I was, thinking we were done with the death threats." She muttered.

"Learn to shut up."

Nobody except Marli saw Inej reach out, placing her hands on Kaz's shoulder. Nobody except her saw the way he shivered under her touch.

 **How long has it been since Kaz has threatened to kill somebody? Someone count hours, I think it's a new record.**


	57. Anika Lines Are Stolen

**I realized what an insanely long time it's been since I updated. I'm sorry, I don't have wifi a lot of the time. Enjoy!**

 **Anika**

Anika stared at the knife, going crosseyed trying to keep it in her sightline. Rollins gave her a smug smile. She fisted her bound hands. "Why are you bothering with me? I don't know any of the numbers."

"No. But you're part of Brekker's inner circle."

Anika giggled. "Inner circle. Yeah, okay."

"He's probably having a mental breakdown right now, wondering if I'm telling you." Rollins laughed, like that was hilarious. She restrained herself from lunging at him.

"Telling me what?" She snapped.

"Not yet. I'm having fun watching this destroy him."

"He's Kaz Brekker. Nothing destroys him." Even as she said it, Anika wasn't sure.

"Have you looked at your boss lately?"

Kaz was fine. Just recovering from his many injuries. Wasn't he? _He gave up. He never gives up_. She swallowed. "What's wrong with him? What did you do?"

Rollins talked slowly, like he was addressing a child. "He's screwed up. In his head."

"No he's not." Anika protested.

"Tell him there'll be no escape from this. He has no backup plans, no allies. Tell him I'm going to tear his life apart, piece by piece. Brick by brick."

"I will not."

Rollins shrugged. "Fine. I will."

Anika caught herself on her elbows, wincing. The burly Dime Lion chuckled, slamming the door.

The others were pretty much where she'd left them, Kaz alone in a corner, Nina, Marli and Inej sitting against the wall, Jesper under a stripped desk and Wylan near the door.

It took her a minute to shuffle over to Kaz and collapse against the wall. He didn't look at her, coffee eyes fixed on the opposite wall. She lowered her voice so no one else could hear. "Boss?"

"Yes?"

"Are you?"

Kaz rested his forehead on his knees, tucking his legs up. "Am I what?"

"Rollins said-"

"Since when do you believe a word that son of a bitch says?" He snapped.

"Since he started being right."

"What makes you think he's right?"

"Well, there's serious evidence to support it."

Kaz balled his good hand up, looking like he was trying to become part of the wall. "It's not...I don't...how much did he say?"

Anika frowned. "I don't think we're talking about the same thing."

"What are you talking about?" He demanded.

"Rollins said you were crazy."

Kaz leaned back against the wall, letting out a shuddering breath. "Oh. _Oh._ Okay."

"What were you talking about?"

"Nothing. So he told you I was crazy? I would've thought you already knew that."

"Are you sick?" She asked gently.

"What do you mean by sick?"

"I don't know. Just...something's obviously going on that you're not telling us. And I'm..." Anika trailed off.

"What? You're what?"

"A little...offended. That Rollins knows and we don't."

"Offended." Kaz growled. "When have I ever told you anything, Anika?"

"Kaz, I just-"

"Brekker." He corrected. "When did you ever start to matter? When did your opinion start to matter?"

Anika scooted away, feeling like a child. And to think she'd actually thought Kaz had maybe...liked her. At least a little. She couldn't help it, tears pooled in her eyes. Anika mentally slapped herself. _You're a gang lieutenant. You're not supposed to cry over a few nasty words._

He blinked. "What...why are you crying?"

"Because you're an asshole."

Kaz opened his mouth, then closed it. She looked away. _Why are you shoving me out?_

Anika felt the slightest brush of fingertips on her shoulder. She glanced at Kaz, clenching her fists.

His expression caught her by surprise. Anika had never seen him look guilty before. Or sad. It only lasted a split second, and she wondered if she'd really seen it or if it had just been wishful thinking. "I'm sorry." He murmured.

"Sure you are."

"I am."

"Doubt it."

"Why don't you believe me?"

"Kaz, sorry, Brekker, you lie. All the time. I know literally nothing about you. We live in the same building, we work together, and you might as well be a stranger." She looked away again.

When Anika glanced at him again a few minutes later, she almost couldn't comprehend what she was seeing. "Are you...crying?"

He angrily swiped his eyes. "Don't be stupid."

She took his hand. Kaz pulled away, tensing. Anika wondered how to say what needed to be said. "Kaz, if you keep shoving people away, at some point they're gonna quit coming back."

"I know. It's a damn miracle you've hung around this long." He muttered.

"That's not what I meant. We care about you. I care about you. But we can't help you if you don't let us."

"So if I don't let you, you're going to give up? That's nice. Very comforting."

"All you have to do is give us a reason to stick around. Try and trust us."

Kaz laughed a little. Anika stared. "What's funny?"

"You just...sounded like a less wise version of someone else for a minute there."

"I don't do wise."

"I'm aware."

"Well? Trust me?"

The crooked little smile disappeared. "I can't."

Anika gave up. "Okay. When you're ready."

"I don't think I ever will."

"Have a little faith."

Kaz sighed. "Dammit, quit stealing lines."

"I don't...whatever."

Roeder was going to die if they didn't get out of here, it was that simple. There was a puddle of ruby red blood slowly but steadily growing underneath him. "Hey, Anika?"

"Shut up." Anika pressed his coat to the deep slash wounds, wondering who exactly had done this and how she could get revenge.

"You know that orange and white kitten that hangs around the Slat?"

"Yeah. Little disease ridden furball. Why?"

"Can you feed it for me? Please?"

"Yeah." She said quietly.

Jesper and Wylan were lying on opposite sides of the stone room, sleeping. Anika had to resist the urge to scream at Jesper for what he'd said to Kaz. Whatever Rollins had done to him, whatever he was doing to him right now, was taking more than a physical toll.

Nina spoke into the silence. "I know it sounds like something Matthias would say, but does anyone feel like it's...I don't know...wrong to get a little kid to help us so we can kill his father?" Everyone looked at her. "Right. Didn't think so."

Marli pulled at her cuffs, blood trickling down her wrist. "Who's Matthias?"

"A friend." Nina replied quietly. "He died."

"One of the people you supposedly breached the Ice Court with?"

"Not supposedly." Kaz protested.

"You did what?" Anika choked. " _That_ was what you were doing?" She had known these people were good, but not that good. "You freaking kidnapped Kuwei Yul-Bo!"

"We _saved_ him."

"Holy shit!"

A spark of pride moved in Kaz's eyes, there and then gone. "Yeah."

The door opened, a guard coming in and grabbing the lantern, leaving them in darkness. Anika curled into a ball, wondering how things had gotten so complicated.


	58. Nina Have It Your Way

**Hello! I'm so sorry for all the slow updates, I'm trying to write an original work on Wattpad, so updates are gonna be pretty slow from now on. I will get to the end, I promise!**

 **We're also getting deep into Kaz angst territory, I hope no one minds. It will end eventually.**

Nina

Nina both understood and resented Kaz's method of dealing with his sadness. He waited till he thought everyone was asleep before beginning to cry. _It's not like we'll hurt him. Doesn't he know that?_

She'd never heard Dirtyhands cry before. He was quiet, suppressing his sobs in his arm. After almost an hour, Nina couldn't take hearing Kaz like that anymore. "Kaz?"

The sobs stopped abruptly. There was silence and deep breathing for a moment. A guard had turned off the lamps, leaving them in total darkness. "I didn't realize you were still awake." His voice was calm and cool, with the barest quavering note underneath.

Nina moved closer to his voice, finding his shoulder. Kaz shivered beneath her hand. "You can talk to us." She wondered if this was when he showed emotion, when there was no one to see, no one to help him.

"I'm fine."

"Bullshit." He shoved her hand off his shoulder. Nina heard him move away. "Kaz..."

"Leave me alone. I'm fine."

She snapped, tired of the 'I'm fine' refrain. He wasn't fine. No human being would be fine right now, and Kaz was definitely human. "Why is it so hard for you to tell us the truth? Secrets don't make friends, Kaz."

"I'm not fine!" He snarled. "I haven't been fine in years! And there is absolutely nothing any of you could ever do about it, so shut up and leave me alone? I'm so damn tired of people offering help that they could never give! is that so very hard to understand, Nina? Is it?"

She was silent for a minute, wondering what to say. Kaz started crying harder, the sound muffled by he arm. "I'm sorry." Nina whispered eventually.

"I don't care." He hissed.

She bit her lip. "How do you know that we can't help you?"

"You _too_? Why can't you people just leave things be?"

Who else had been talking to him about this? Inej? "Because we people happen to care about you. And you're not the kind of person who willingly volunteers information."

"If you cared about me at all, which I doubt, you'd screw off."

"Okay. Fine." She growled. Anyone else would probably try to coax it out of him. But Nina was a soldier. She didn't do gentle. "This is unfair bullshit, and you know it. How many times do I need to try and help you, save your life even, before you trust me? Just quit it with your stupid paranoia!"

"Why do you keep pushing?"

"Do you know what an intervention is? Sometimes you have to hurt someone to help them."

"Mind you own damn business."

"No. I will not." Kaz wanted to be stubborn? Nina could be stubborn too.

Kaz's voice was brittle. "Screw you, Zenik."

Nina felt like slamming her head off the floor. "Screw your pride."

"It's not-"

"It's not about your pride? Then what is it about? Why are you so against letting us see you vulnerable?"

The answer was short, sharp, and full of some emotion she couldn't make sense of. Maybe because she'd never heard Kaz express it before. "Fear."

"That's ridiculous. We. Will. Not. Hurt. You."

Nina heard him move farther away. "This conversation's over."

"Kaz." Silence. " _Kaz_." More silence. "Fine. Have it your way."


	59. Wylan A Secret Is Told

**You're all gonna hate me after this. Just sayin' :)**

 **Wylan**

Wylan curled up, absorbing the night's events in small pieces.

They had taken Inej. Wylan didn't know when she was going to come back, or if. Marli was seething, pulling at her cuffs. Wylan bit his lip when he saw the blood dripping down her wrists, but knew telling her to stop was pointless.

Kaz was white-faced and furious in a corner. No one had dared come anywhere near him.

Roeder had passed out sometime while they'd all been sleeping. Nina said he still had a pulse, but she couldn't wake him up. Anika was currently sitting over him looking miserable.

Jesper wasn't talking, just staring at the wall. "Jes." He gave no indication that he'd heard. Wylan prodded him. " _Jes_."

"What?" Jesper snapped. Wylan flinched. Marli gave Jesper a disapproving look. He scowled back.

"Nothing. Never mind."

A few minutes later, Jesper spoke again quietly. "I used to like him."

"Kaz?"

"Yeah."

"Just because you two are fighting doesn't mean you're allowed to stop liking him."

Jesper shook his head. "Not what I meant."

Wylan felt his eyes widen. "You mean... _like_ like him?"

"If you want to put it in little kid's terms." He pursed his lips. Where was the sparkle in Jesper's eyes?

"Why? I mean, I could see liking him the way he is _now_ , but even a few months ago...why?"

Jesper gave a bare shrug. "Saints know. He never showed an interest in girls, never talked about them the way other guys did, so I hoped..."

Wylan really wasn't sure how he felt about that. "Does Kaz know?"

"Who can tell what that bastard does or doesn't know?"

"Why don't you ask him?"

"I'm not talking to him."

Wylan shook his head, fed up with this utter _bullshit_. "He needs you, Jesper. He needs all of us, even if he won't admit it. I don't know what Rollins has been doing to him, but fighting over stupid reasons I don't even understand isn't helping."

Jesper didn't answer, moving into a corner under a desk with all the drawers missing.

Kaz suddenly got up and sat next to Wylan. They were silent for a minute. "How are you doing?" Wylan asked tentatively.

"Fine." He glanced at him, taking in his lily pale skin, tired coffee eyes. _That's a complete lie._ But Wylan didn't say so.

"Jesper told me something."

"Oh?"

"What do you think of him as, Kaz?"

"He told you about liking me, didn't he."

"You knew?"

"Of _course_ I knew. Jesper's not exactly subtle."

"And you didn't feel the same way?"

"I'm not gay, no." Wylan nodded. He'd wondered about that sometimes. Jesper was right, Kaz had never showed an interest in anyone, girl or boy.

"Then why didn't you just tell him that?"

Kaz stared at his knees, voice quiet. "I didn't want to hurt him." Wylan blinked, shocked by the admittance.

There was silence for a while. He tentatively laid a hand on his arm. "Are you feeling all right?"

Kaz shrugged him off. "I am not having this conversation," He growled.

"I just-"

"Stop. Right there. Or I'm going to kill someone or throw up." Kaz looked equally capable of both. Wylan decided to let it go.

"Do you know why Jesper's angry?"

"He's more scared than angry."

The door opened and Inej was dumped through. She scooted over to them worrying her lower lip. Kaz stayed cold and silent. "Kaz."

"What?" His voice was brittle, ready to crack.

"Are you still angry with me?"

Rollins appeared in the doorway, smirking, and Kaz didn't answer. "Hello."

"What do you want?" Jesper snapped from under his desk.

"You know, I've never been much for delayed gratification." Everyone stared at him. Rollins's smirk widened. "I have issues waiting for things. But that's all right."

"Get to the point."

All of the remaining blood drained from Kaz's face at the same time Rollins grinned. "Kaz Brekker is afraid of touch, Mr. Fahey. He's terrified of it. He literally can't bear the sensation of skin on skin." Every word was said slowly and clearly, and with obvious relish. The door slammed.

There was dead silence for a moment. Wylan blinked slowly, his brain trying to catch up. Inej was gripping Kaz's trembling hand.

"Kaz?" Jesper said slowly. "What does he mean?"

 **Hate me? :D**


	60. Kaz Remember

**It's here.**

 **I'm sorry it took so long, I rewrote this about six times because I didn't like it. And because I wanted it to be as good as possible for you amazing people. And because I wasn't really into a bunch of pissy PMs from angry fans with virtual pitchforks.**

 **I love you guys!**

 **PS- In response to a review, I** ** _will_** **shove this entire mess through grammarly or something eventually, promise. The computer I write on is ancient and doesn't do spellcheck reliably.**

 **Kaz**

He couldn't breathe.

Everything was silent and fuzzy. The only thing that was clear was Inej holding his wrist in a two-handed grip. She felt like an anchor.

Kaz felt like he was dying.

Wylan looked at him, blue eyes wide but questioning. He couldn't meet his gaze, his cheeks feeling like they were on fire. Kaz knew exactly what he had to say to make this go away. _He's lying. That's ridiculous._ The words wouldn't come.

"Kaz?" Jesper asked slowly. "What does he mean?" _They're going to kill me for this._ He closed his eyes, trying not to cry. " _Kaz_."

"Sorry." That was the only thing he could say. Inej squeezed his hand.

"What do you mean by..." Nina trailed off. "It's not true, right? That's insane. You would've told us about something that important." Kaz kept his eyes closed, wishing he could melt into the wall.

"Gloves," Wylan said abruptly. "The damn gloves."

"That's what's been happening to you this entire time, even before." Jesper sounded confused. "You're afraid of touch, and...what, Kaz? You just decided that instead of telling us like a mature adult, you'd keep it a secret and become a cold, distant bastard?!"

Kaz pulled his hands out of Inej's and turned so he was facing the wall, losing the battle against tears. He knew what he was supposed to say here, too. _I'm sorry. It hurt too much to tell._

"Jes, stop." Nina warned. Kaz could hear that she was angry too. He doubted it was all directed at Jesper. "Kaz...this has been killing you and you didn't say _anything_. Why?"

"Because he doesn't trust us!"

He kept going. Nina tried to talk over him, and then Wylan and Anika broke their silence and started yelling too. Kaz couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. _Gotta give you credit for this one, Pekka. You really know how to tear a group of people apart._

"Enough!" Marli roared. "Shut up, all of you!"

"No, I don't think I will! He's been lying to us for years!"

"Why do you think that is? Really think, Jes. Why would Kaz lie to you?"

"I don't know!"

"People lie because they're embarrassed or ashamed or scared of people's reactions. So really think about what the hell you're doing right now!"

There was quiet for a minute. "Kaz?" Nina asked softly. "It doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to be ashamed."

"I don't get it," Jesper mumbled. "I thought we were friends. Friends tell each other stuff."

Inej growled. "Leave it be."

"You knew, didn't you."

"It wasn't my place to tell. What's going on with you, Jes?"

"Don't change the subject! What were you thinking? This has been killing him! we could've helped!"

"I was thinking that he'd told me things in confidence and I wasn't about to betray him. It's called trust."

"Why you?" Jesper took a breath. "Kaz?" His voice was shaking. "Why don't you trust us?"

Wylan exploded. "Is _that_ why you've been so terrible to him? Jes, for Saints sake!"

"Everybody stop. We can talk about this later." Inej said firmly.

"Why you?" Jesper repeated. He didn't sound angry now, just exhausted.

Kaz rested his forehead on the cool floor, unable to focus on what they were saying anymore. He was dead. His reputation was ashes. "I don't know," She murmured.

Silence fell. Inej moved beside him and Kaz flinched away. She didn't move back, whispering. "Kaz?"He loved her voice. "Are you all right?"

 _No. Obviously._

"They're just scared. I promise it'll be better later. And you can't blame them for being a little pissed they heard it from Rollins of all people first."

 _Just say 'I told you so' and spare me the lecture. I know you're disappointed with me. This is my fault._

"This isn't your fault, Kaz."

 _When did you become a mindreader?_

"The memories and the pain, what happened to you, what's still happening, none of that is your fault. Nobody deserves that. You just have to remember that it will get better."

Kaz scooted closer to her, and Inej moved to his other side. He could feel her warm breath tickling his cheek without opening his eyes. "Thank you. For being here."

"All of us are here. Remember that."

 **The next chapter was fun to write, and hopefully I'll be able to get it up tomorrow. Please review and tell me if I did a good job!**


	61. AN

p style="text-align: center;"strongHi! I know y'all are expecting the next chapter. But I was rereading the first few chapters of this mess, and emshuddering/em. So. As much as I absolutely hate doing this to you guys, I'm going to go back and edit, because it's killing me. It won't take long, and I promise this will get done eventually. Just stick with me, you've all been wonderful. /strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strong- Darkgenius3/strong/p 


	62. Marli Plans In The Dark

**Hello! Yes, I'm back. Yes, you have my permission to come over to my house zombie-horde style and force me to update more often. I kind of need it. I'm really sorry for the long absence, I'll do my best to update in a few days.**

Marli stared at the ceiling, pushing against the wall with her feet.

Kaz obviously wasn't in the mood to plan anything, so she'd decided to give it a shot. It wasn't working too well. Everything she thought of required the use of their hands. Eventually, her thoughts slipped into what she would do once her hands were free.

Marli hesitated before peering at her wrists in the dark. She doubted the scars would ever completely heal at this point.

Whatever. Marli would give Rollins and his men much, much worse injuries than a few scratches.

You're useless. A freak.

She stilled. Marli hadn't heard her father's voice in her head or otherwise in years. She let out a small laugh, thinking about the havoc she'd wreaked on their house before leaving. I was never useless, father. And if I'm a freak, so be it.

"What are you laughing about?" Jesper muttered.

She turned her head towards his voice, unable to see him. "Nothing particularly amusing."

"Anything worth sharing?"

Marli hesitated. Was her past worth sharing? "You've seen the scars on my arm, I'm assuming."

Jesper's voice was tinged with embarrassment. "They're kind of hard to miss."

"I screwed up the person who gave me them. His expression makes me laugh."

"Did you kill him?"

"No."

"Why not? You don't seem like the type to let an enemy live. Did you learn that from Kaz, by any chance?" Jesper's voice broke a little saying his name.

Marli wasn't sure how to answer those questions. Both were subjects she didn't feel like talking about.

"No, Jesper, she didn't learn it from me. She figured out those important life lessons just fine on her own."

There was dead silence. "Kaz?"

"What?"

"We need to talk."

"No, we don't. Marli, are you okay?"

The question made her freeze for a moment. Kaz just asked me if I was okay.

Maybe this forced outing of his secret isn't such a bad thing.

"I'm fine."

"Fine enough to use your power?"

"Of course you had an angle," Jesper muttered. Marli didn't miss the affection in his tone. "You always do."

Kaz ignored him. "Marli?"

"Hell yes." She paused. "Do you have a plan, perhaps?"

"Perhaps. But we need the key to the cuffs."

"What else?"

"That's it. And we need to be separated."

"And how do we do that?"

"Attack a guard."

Marli tilted her head. "I'm seeing some serious flaws, Kaz."

"The hallway we're in has a bunch of offices like this. And if they had to separate us, keeping us together would be easier- why am I explaining myself to you?"

She smiled in the dark. "I don't know, but it was nice while it lasted."

"Next time a guard comes in, go for them. Don't kill them, but feel free to do some damage..."

Jesper cackled, and Marli felt a wide grin stretch her lips as they listened to what Kaz had in mind.


	63. Jesper and Marli Tunneling

**This chapter's dedicated to azzurraopperman.22, who gave me the kick in the a$$ I needed to publish this dang thing. Your message was thiiiis close to making me cry, I had no idea the kind of impact this story had on people. I know this chapter isn't my best ever, hopefully I'll have the time and motivation to keep going. Thank you :)**

 **Jesper**

Jesper leaned against the wall, hunched beside the door. He was less than confident in his ability to pickpocket a guard while attempting to beat them senseless, but he supposed there was a first time for everything.

Marli was beside him, rocking back and forth. Her anger had been pushed into a focused rage, and he knew whoever came through that door would regret ever meeting her. "I'm gonna slam Rollins into a wall so many times that they're gonna have to scrape him off the floor," she muttered darkly.

"Dark," Kaz mused. "It doesn't suit you." Maybe it was just the thrill of a plan, but his coffee eyes seemed brighter than they had for weeks.

"And that haircut doesn't suit you, but do I comment? No."

He narrowed his eyes at her. Inej touched his sleeve in a way that was somehow condescending. "Your hair's fine."

They were all high-strung, all well aware that this could be their last shot. Jesper shifted his weight from one foot to the other, feeling like bugs were crawling under his skin.

"But really, I liked it better when it was longer," Marli told Kaz. Her tone had mellowed a little.

"Why are you so hung up on my _hair_ of all things?"

"It used to be almost curly, now it's just...blah."

"Thanks."

"You're very welcome."

The door squeaked open, and Jesper lunged, grinning even as he slammed into two hundred pounds of Razorgull. He'd caught the man off guard, and they fell to the floor.

It was hard not to focus on the thrill of attempting to beat the shit out of someone, and shift his attention to getting the keys out of his pocket without them noticing.

Jesper received a punch to the jaw, and felt one of his teeth crack. He ignored the pain, covering his fumbling for the keys with a shot to the stomach. The guard almost got his arms around him, until Marli landed on his chest boots first, shrieking like a cat.

His hand closed around the cold metal of the keys, and Jesper reached over and tucked them into Marli's boot, watching the way she was pounding the guard's face into the floor. Who knew such a little girl could contain such anger?

Guards flooded into the room, and Jesper was dragged off of the Razorgull. He struggled just enough to present the illusion of fighting, letting them pull him out of the room.

He was shoved into a room down the hall, and the door was unceremoniously slammed in his face. For some reason, that was hilarious. Jesper tried to hold in laughter, listening to the others get hauled into rooms next to his. _We're all going to lose our minds if this goes on much longer._

 **Marli**

Marli glared at the door hatefully before struggling to get the ring of keys out of her boots and the struggling even more to unlock the cuffs. As soon as they were off, she stood up and did a backflip, stopping herself upside down. Marli closed her eyes, the breeze playing with her hair like an old friend.

She reluctantly flipped right-side up and dropped to the floor, rubbing her hands together. Her wrists protested. Marli refused to look at them, seeing the glint of bone in her peripheral vision.

Marli walked over to the wall, stretching up as far as she could and placing her palms to the brick. She closed her eyes, focusing on the moisture inside. This was a job better suited to a Tidemaker or a Fabrkator, but Jesper hadn't trusted himself with the responsibility and she was confident she could manage well enough. She _had_ to.

Slowly, painstakingly, Marli drew the moisture out of the brick. It spattered to the floor and ran down the walls. The brick began to crumble in places, hairline cracks appearing. It was high-speed expansion and contraction, and just like Kaz had predicted, it was too much for Ketterdam's perpetually wet buildings.

When every drop of moisture had been leached out of a small section of brick. Marli dug her fingers into the cracks and widened them. Chunks of brick fell into the puddle of water below. After a few minutes, someone on the other side started helping. Soon enough, a small hole was cleared.

Marli hovered a bit above the ground, pressing her face to the hole. Kaz gave her a tiny smile from below. They cleared a bigger hole, then she climbed through. Even the brief confine of the hole was horrible. Marli dropped to the ground, grinning. "All right, what's next?"

"Next wall."

"Do you mind telling me _why_?" He'd only told her up to this part.

Kaz rolled his eyes. "Basically, we're going to lure as many guards as possible into the rooms. Next wall."

"With us in there with them?"

"You'll tunnel into an unlocked room, and we'll be able to get into the hallway." She shuddered a little at the word _tunnel_. "Someone will wait behind an open cell door, and when a bunch of guards go in their to investigate, they'll shut it and lock it. Rinse and repeat till we actually stand a chance. _Next wall_."

"Yeah, yeah." Marli moved to the wall, rolling her shoulders. She couldn't _wait_ to get her hands on Rollins.


	64. Anika Fun

**Hi.**

 **You guys really like this story, huh?**

 **I figure I've got to do my civic duty and prevent Kazaria04 from getting ahold of it and massacring everyone, lol. And apparently someone's been reading this from SPAIN. I've no idea how this got so popular or why people like it so much, but I suppose I should give the people what they want. Before I wake up one morning to find a mob with torches and pitchforks outside my door. So have this unedited beauty. Love you all :)**

Anika

Anika peeked out from behind the cell door, waiting for her moment.

Everyone else was still in the cell at the end of the row, but Kaz had given the assignment of trapping investigating guards in the one open cell. For once, she'd been happy to oblige. It was something to do, and it felt good after being useless for so long. What was a henchman without semi-evil plots to carry out?

She drew her head back when footsteps came from around the corner, accompanied by aimless whistling. The gang member turned the corner. The whistling stopped. Anika held her breath, a sly grin curling her lips as a harsh expletive echoed off the brick, and footsteps raced off back the way they'd come. Less than a minute later, they returned, accompanied by a group in the middle of a loud argument.

"What the hell do you mean, it was just open?!"

"It was just...open!"

"For Ghezen's sake, doors don't just _open_!"

"Pekka's gonna kill us..."

"No, Pekka's gonna kill _you_."

"It's not _my_ fault they escaped!"

The group passed within inches of her, one even pushing the door farther open and forcing Anika to flatten herself against the wall, shoulder blades digging into the brick. She waited until she was sure they were inside before peeking around. Five gang members stood inside the cell, completely oblivious to both her and the clumsily patched-up hole in the wall. Marlie had tried to put the brick back to its original condition, but the Squaller was clearly better at tearing things apart than putting them back together. Anika could sympathize.

Anika readied the key, then threw her weight against the door. It slammed closed and she jabbed the key into the keyhole, hearing the lock click just as something from the other side slammed into the door. It trembled but held.

She snorted at the angry, muffled yelling from within, racing back to the end cell. The door opened and she slipped inside, grinning victoriously. "Five."

The people in the room gave her varying versions of her grin, Marli patting her back before snatching the key from her hand. "My turn." They were all high-strung, contents under pressure, her in particular.

She was back in the room within minutes, ice chip eyes glittering. "Seven."

Jesper was next, bounding back into the room grinning. "Nine. Which instantly puts me in the lead. Wy, wanna try? I'll lock it for you."

They continued in that vein until they were all huddled behind one door. The largest group yet came running down the hall, and Inej kicked the door shut with more strength than should've fit in that slim little body.

They headed down the hall cautiously, only stopping when Wylan glanced into a room, then stopped short and backed up to look at it again. His voice was disturbingly calm. "Guys."

They crowded around him, looking through the doorway. As one, their breath caught.

The room was a regular arsenal, full of guns, knives, pipes and boards with nails through them. No doubt confiscated weapons from the Dregs. They were silent with awe, until Marli cackled. Nina's disturbingly sweet laughter joined hers, and Anika had to fight not to join them.

Jesper moved first. He grabbed his pearl-handed revolvers from a table, twirling them and then slotting them into his empty gunbelt. Inej began tucking more knives than Anika thought possible into her clothing, and Wylan hefted a metal pipe. Anika walked around the room a couple times before choosing a crowbar, perfectly suited for either breaking bones or tearing flesh.

Kaz lifted his cane, the silver crow's head gleaming brightly. A wild, almost joyful grin passed over his pale features, and in that moment Anika could see exactly what his enemies feared.

His gaze found hers, his grin widening. "This is going to be fun."

It sounded like pre-battle banter, more of a joke than anything. Maybe that was all it was. But Anika couldn't help thinking that maybe he was being completely serious.

She flashed him a grin of her own. If so, her and Kaz's ideas of fun were exactly the same.


End file.
